Sidney Crosby:
Goals: 39
Assists: 63
Sweet Gatorade Commercials: 1
Alexander Ovechkin:
Goals: 52
Assists: 54
Sweet Gatorade Commercials: 0
The choice is obvious.
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Pet Peeve of the Day
People who offer insanely one-sided trades in fantasy leagues. I clicked on my Yahoo fantasy baseball roster this morning, to find that I'd been offered a trade by a team named "K-Dro." First bad sign right there. I'm assuming the kids a Mets fan and the "Dro" part refers to Perdo Martinez. Anyone who thinks that the first initial, combined with part of last name is somehow, relevant, witty or clever needs to be shot. Twice. In the head. What is this, 2001?
Anyway, the trade he offered was Jeff Kent, Brad Penny and Chris Reitsma to me for Vladimir Guerrero and Rich Harden. Wow. For those of you that don't know, Corky from Life Goes On wouldn't make that trade. "I'll give you two mediocre pitchers, and an over-the-hill "slugger" who just got got a concussion from being hit in the head on Sunday. You can give me arguably the best young pitcher in the AL, and Peter Gammons's pick to win the Cy Young. Oh, and you can also give me one of the top five fantasy hitters as a throw-in."
I'm sure this guy actually knows something about baseball, so more than likely he was trying to hose me out of my best players. How is that fair? You had a shitty draft, and now you're trying to compensate for it by screwing the rest of the league? Seriously, what does that accomplish. If you win the league this way, do you plan on bragging to your friends?
I've been in too many leagues where one guy makes a ton of ridiculous trades with people in the league who don't really care, then watches in mock amazement as his team shoots to the top of the league. Garbage.
Anyway, the trade he offered was Jeff Kent, Brad Penny and Chris Reitsma to me for Vladimir Guerrero and Rich Harden. Wow. For those of you that don't know, Corky from Life Goes On wouldn't make that trade. "I'll give you two mediocre pitchers, and an over-the-hill "slugger" who just got got a concussion from being hit in the head on Sunday. You can give me arguably the best young pitcher in the AL, and Peter Gammons's pick to win the Cy Young. Oh, and you can also give me one of the top five fantasy hitters as a throw-in."
I'm sure this guy actually knows something about baseball, so more than likely he was trying to hose me out of my best players. How is that fair? You had a shitty draft, and now you're trying to compensate for it by screwing the rest of the league? Seriously, what does that accomplish. If you win the league this way, do you plan on bragging to your friends?
I've been in too many leagues where one guy makes a ton of ridiculous trades with people in the league who don't really care, then watches in mock amazement as his team shoots to the top of the league. Garbage.
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Notes from the Underground
Mark it down. On April 4, 2006 at 10:26 pm Brewers scrub pinch-hitter Gabe Gross hit a 420 foot home-run off of Ryan Vogelsong to put Milwaukee ahead 6-2. That is now the exact time at which I officially became jaded about the Pirates 2006 season. To clarify further, that's during the bottom of the sixth inning of the second game of the season. For those of you that aren't into baseball, it's a 162 game schedule and usually it takes longer than 36 hours into a season for you to start dreading the impending. That's not the case for Pirates fans.
You see, the Pirates have had a losing record every year since 1992. That's not a typo. I'll write it again just to clarify. 1992. I'll even put it in italics 1992. And just in case you were wondering what it feels like to root for a team on the verge of setting a record for baseball futility, here are a couple anecdotes...
Last month Zavo and I went out to a local bar. Seated at the table next to us were a man and a woman, who appeared to be on some sort of awkward date. The guy, well-groomed and in his late twenties, sat far back in his chair and avoided eye contact the entire time. Save for an occasional nod or grunt, he was totally silent. Cautiously munching chicken wings, he kept looking around the room as though he were scared someone he knew might walk in and see him. Considering his company, I could sympathize.
The woman (who I'll refer to as Alice Yinzer or A. Yinzer for short) was squat and rotund, and shaped like the windmill at a miniature golf course. She doused herself in metallic blue eye shadow chain smoke Camel cigarettes and struck me as the kind of woman that would throw Brett Michaels her panties at a Poison reunion concert. And that voice. If the rest of the bar was a 6, A. Yinzer was at an 11, screeching on and on about her "grandmum who used to compete in beauty pageants dahn in blawnox" her love of "hambarghers with spicy brahn mustard" and then, out of nowhere, her job "as vice president of communications for the Pittsburgh Pirates."
Let's just say I choked on my New Castle when I heard that one. My favorite sports team in the world employed this woman??? In a high-ranking capacity??? Holy shit this was huge. Suddenly, 14 straight losing seasons all made sense. If A. Yinzer could hold a position with a major league baseball team, well then, should at come as any surprise that the team hasn't had a winning record since 1992.
Incredulous about this revelation, Zavo and I to come up with the below list of things that have happened since the last time the Pirates finished above .500 It's pretty sad, really:
1) The Diamondbacks (who have won a World Series), Devil Rays, Rockies and Marlins (who have won 2 World Series')
2) The Clinton Administration
3) Peace in Ireland
4) Zavo's sister, who's in fifth grade
5) The Czech Republic
6) Brett Favre's first season with the Packers
7) The Atkins Diet
8) DVDs
9) Must See TV (including the entire run of Friends)
10)Grunge
11)The internet
There are more, like the birth of about half of the NHL franchises, but I think you get the idea.
In terms of actual baseball, nothing exemplifies the putrid play of the Pirates quite like their record in home openers. From age 7 in 1990 until 2001 when I graduated from high school, my dad and I loyally attended every home opener. During this time period, the Pirates went 2-10 including losing their last eight in a row. With the help of baseball-reference.com, here are the scores from these 12 years along with my personal memories of the game.
April 13, 1990. Cubs 2, Pirates 0: I have virtually no memory of this game. This was the season I became a baseball fan, but I wasn't quite there yet. However, this WAS the game where the college kids behind us were getting pelted with debris from fans in the above deck and I overheard one of them mutter "I'm getting hit with shit. Let's go up and beat the shit out of them." Clearly when you're in first grade, hearing two curse words in one sentence, is way more memorable than ANY baseball game. FINAL RECORD: 95-67, Lost in NLCS.
April 8, 1991: Expos 7, Pirates 0: There was a big celebration of last year's division title run to open the game, then the team went out and geot pulverized by the Expos. Cold and wet night, memorable only because dad and I missed the Pirates only hit of the game (a Barry Bonds single off of Dennis Martinez) as we were in the process of moving to closer seats as per my insistence. Sorry dad, I was 8. FINAL RECORD: 98-64, Lost in NLCS.
April 6, 1992: Pirates 2, Expos 0: Doug Drabek pitched a gem, and the Pirates finally scored some runs in the opener to scratch out the win. Although, maybe if Drabek hadn't gone a complete game in this one, he might have a little more juice for the ninth inning of game 7 of the NLCS. If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you like stories with no moral where the bad guy wins, go look it up. Not that I'm bitter or anything. FINAL RECORD: 96-66, Lost in NLCS.
April 6, 1993: Pirates 9, Padres 4. In the previous off-season, the Pirates let virtually every big name player on their roster walk away in free-agency. The three-time Eastern Division champions were planning to rebuild and return to glory quickly around three "stud" prospects: Kevin Young, Al Martin and Carlos Garcia. Who you ask? Exactly. Young homered in the win, teasing all fans with the promise of young power hitter. However, he ended up hitting just five more home runs that season and, as would become a running theme with Pirates top prospects, was cut by the team a few seasons later. In a fascinating turn of events, Young came back to the Pirates in 1997 as a non-roster invitee and made the team out of spring training. He then proceeded to develop into a decent hitter, averaging close to 25 HRs and 100 RBIs for the next two and a half years. To prove their economic viability, the Pirates rewarded him with a lavish 4 year $24 million contract, the richest in club history at that point. I think the day the contract was signed, Young's knees began to give out, and he instantly became a .230 10 HRs a year guy, who couldn't bend over to pick up a ball at first base. The kind of player who's big contract absolutely KILLS a small market franchise. What does this have to do with opening day you ask? Nothing really, but when a guy manages to kill the direction of a franchise twice in a decade, I think he deserves his own paragraph. FINAL RECORD: 75-87, 5th in NL East.
April 8, 1994: Rockies 7, Pirates 3: One of the saving graces of the Pirates 1993 season was that the National League added two expansion teams, the Rockies and Marlins, that helped to pad the Buccos win total. Unfortunately, the Rockies were a wealthy team that actually spent money on free agents, and by opening day 1994 had already passed the idling Pirates talent level. Looking at the rosters, that may not actually have been the case. But as an 11 year-old, that's how it felt on opening day. FINAL RECORD: 53-61, 3rd in NL Central.
April 26, 1995: Expos 6, Pirates 2: Wow. Now this one was memorable. I would venture Pirates fans were some of the most bitter people about the players strike that wiped out the end of the 1994 season and canceled the World Series. Not only did we miss out on half a season of baseball, but the work stoppage did absolutely nothing to improve the plight of small market fans. And to top it all off, our team stunk and was in danger of leaving Pittsburgh. All of these emotions came bubbling over when in the top of the fifth inning, the Pirates committed an unheard of three fielding errors on the same play. In some half-assed attempt to apologize or appease fans, ownership had given away Pirate "flags" to everyone in attendence. When the dust cleared on the fielding debacle, the entire crowd, as if possessed by a higher being, rose as one and proceeded to litter the diamond with the giveaways. It was a biblical proportions rain of Pirate flags. I think everyone's only regret was that it didn't lead to a Pirates forfeit. FINAL RECORD: 58-86, 5th in NL Central.
April 8, 1996: Phillies 6, Pirates 3: The first opener of the Kevin McClatchy ownership era. I remember my dad being overjoyed to find that they were now giving away pencils with the scorecards, as opposed to charging $1.00 for some the crappiest writing instruments known to man. Seriously, whatever Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence with was better than those pencils. This was also the debut of Charlie Hayes, the first in a long-line of middling, mediocre or over-the-hill free-agents the Pirates would sign over the next ten years. The pattern with these signings always goes something like this: Because it's the "small market" Pirates everyone gets super-excited and over inflates the value of said player. Said player plays OK (except for Derek ".125" Bell, although he got Cam Bonifay fired so he gets a pass in my book), but does very little to improve the team, and invariably is traded by July 31 for middling, mediocre or over-the-hill prospects. Anyway, I remember Hayes pulling and 0-for and fouling out to third to kill a late inning rally. Pretty typical ho-hum Pirates loss, somewhat notable for being Jim Leyland's last opener as Pirates manager. FINAL RECORD: 73-89, 5th in NL Central.
April 11, 1997: Dodgers 7, Pirates 1: Easily the best season during the 13 losing seasons, as a team that was a lock to lose 100 games remained in playoff contention until the final week of the season. Of course the Pirates still finished under .500 and got creamed in their home opener, perhaps moving the latter past taxes and just behind death on the list of certainties in life. FINAL RECORD: 79-83, 2nd in NL Central.
April 7, 1998: Braves 11, Pirates 3: One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Braves lead-off hitter Andruw Jones chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" prospect Freddy Garcia. Garcia air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Francisco Cordova?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Chipper Jones. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone came to bat it was 3-0 Braves. Jones hit another moonshot later in the game and Atlanta cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 6th in NL Central.
April 5, 1999: Expos 9, Pirates 2: (I shit you not that what follows is not embellished in the slightest.) One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Expos lead-off hitter F.P. Santangelo (?) chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" free-agent signee Ed Sprague. Sprague air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Jason Schmidt?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Vladimir Guerrero. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone come to bat it was 3-0 Expos. Guerrero hit another moonshot later in the game and Montreal cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 78-83, 3rd in NL Central
April 4, 2000 Astros 5, Pirates 2: The season was scheduled to open the night before to a sell-out crowd. However, the game was rained out, and about a quarter of the people showed up the next night. The weather was so blistering cold, and the attendance so meek, at some point the Pirates decided to give away hot chocolate. I remember doing my best to maneuver the flimsy dixie cup of hot brown water, as my fingers twitched in the frigid air, sending some of the boiling liquid over the sides. Yet the frost bite and third degree burns weren't the most painful part of the evening.
Miraculously, the Pirates escaped the top of the first without giving up a run. Heading into the sixth, they were down only 1-0, and in danger of making it a game. However in that inning, starter Jason Schmidt single-handedly changed that possibility. Schmidt walked the bases loaded (a horrible thing to watch no matter what the circumstances, but absolutely interminable when the temperature's below freezing) then gave up a grand-slam to Richard Hidalgo. Seriously, the Hidalgo home-run may have been the most predictable thing to ever happen in a sporting event. Or at least since Vladimir Guererro's home run in the first inning the previous year. I'm proud to say that despite the weather we stayed until the last out. Notable because it was the last home opener at Three Rivers Stadium. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 5th in NL Central.
April 9, 2001: Reds 8, Pirates 2: This was a game that honestly made you question whether or not there were some supernatural forces behind the Pirates futility. On the morning the team opened PNC Park, Willie Stargell, the Pirate's greatest living player, whom the team was unveiling a statue of that day, died of kidney failure. Even though reviews of the new ballpark were exceptional, the play on the field wasn't. Sean Casey picked up where Vladimir Guerrero left off and hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the first inning. The Pirates never really recovered, and made several errors late in the game helping the Reds blow it open.
Also, this was the quintessential "amateur afternoon" game as my father and I have come to dub openers. Given the number of non-baseball fans in attendance at these things, you often see some particularly ridiculous behavior. Given that this was the first game ever at PNC Park, the amateur factor was through the roof. Sure enough, midway through the game, a woman on the deck below us, leaned against the guard rail, turned AWAY from the field and began to chat with her friends seated at the table behind her. She was utterly oblivious to the fact that by STANDING during play, she completely blocked my view. Of course given the angles, it was only my view she blocked, so I couldn't even get a chorus of support for her to sit down. This was particularly frustrating given that she was either too far away, or too drunk to hear my cries for to "Sit down and watch the f---ing game." Fortunately, she eventually got bored and left the rail, but the cumulative effect of the afternoon nearly had me swearing off home openers for good. FINAL RECORD: 62-100, 6th in NL Central.
Well, I went to college in the fall of 2001, and haven't been home for a Pirates home opener since. The Bucs have actually improved their winning percentage, going 2-2 while I was away at school. This Monday, April, 10, they host the Los Angeles Dodgers in the first game of the season. And despite Ryan Vogelsong, A. Yinzer and 10 above anecdotes that lead me to believe I'm better off at home, I'll be there. Section 222, Row H, Seat 3. I figure I'm due to see a winner. Worst case, I'll have another story to add to the list.
You see, the Pirates have had a losing record every year since 1992. That's not a typo. I'll write it again just to clarify. 1992. I'll even put it in italics 1992. And just in case you were wondering what it feels like to root for a team on the verge of setting a record for baseball futility, here are a couple anecdotes...
Last month Zavo and I went out to a local bar. Seated at the table next to us were a man and a woman, who appeared to be on some sort of awkward date. The guy, well-groomed and in his late twenties, sat far back in his chair and avoided eye contact the entire time. Save for an occasional nod or grunt, he was totally silent. Cautiously munching chicken wings, he kept looking around the room as though he were scared someone he knew might walk in and see him. Considering his company, I could sympathize.
The woman (who I'll refer to as Alice Yinzer or A. Yinzer for short) was squat and rotund, and shaped like the windmill at a miniature golf course. She doused herself in metallic blue eye shadow chain smoke Camel cigarettes and struck me as the kind of woman that would throw Brett Michaels her panties at a Poison reunion concert. And that voice. If the rest of the bar was a 6, A. Yinzer was at an 11, screeching on and on about her "grandmum who used to compete in beauty pageants dahn in blawnox" her love of "hambarghers with spicy brahn mustard" and then, out of nowhere, her job "as vice president of communications for the Pittsburgh Pirates."
Let's just say I choked on my New Castle when I heard that one. My favorite sports team in the world employed this woman??? In a high-ranking capacity??? Holy shit this was huge. Suddenly, 14 straight losing seasons all made sense. If A. Yinzer could hold a position with a major league baseball team, well then, should at come as any surprise that the team hasn't had a winning record since 1992.
Incredulous about this revelation, Zavo and I to come up with the below list of things that have happened since the last time the Pirates finished above .500 It's pretty sad, really:
1) The Diamondbacks (who have won a World Series), Devil Rays, Rockies and Marlins (who have won 2 World Series')
2) The Clinton Administration
3) Peace in Ireland
4) Zavo's sister, who's in fifth grade
5) The Czech Republic
6) Brett Favre's first season with the Packers
7) The Atkins Diet
8) DVDs
9) Must See TV (including the entire run of Friends)
10)Grunge
11)The internet
There are more, like the birth of about half of the NHL franchises, but I think you get the idea.
In terms of actual baseball, nothing exemplifies the putrid play of the Pirates quite like their record in home openers. From age 7 in 1990 until 2001 when I graduated from high school, my dad and I loyally attended every home opener. During this time period, the Pirates went 2-10 including losing their last eight in a row. With the help of baseball-reference.com, here are the scores from these 12 years along with my personal memories of the game.
April 13, 1990. Cubs 2, Pirates 0: I have virtually no memory of this game. This was the season I became a baseball fan, but I wasn't quite there yet. However, this WAS the game where the college kids behind us were getting pelted with debris from fans in the above deck and I overheard one of them mutter "I'm getting hit with shit. Let's go up and beat the shit out of them." Clearly when you're in first grade, hearing two curse words in one sentence, is way more memorable than ANY baseball game. FINAL RECORD: 95-67, Lost in NLCS.
April 8, 1991: Expos 7, Pirates 0: There was a big celebration of last year's division title run to open the game, then the team went out and geot pulverized by the Expos. Cold and wet night, memorable only because dad and I missed the Pirates only hit of the game (a Barry Bonds single off of Dennis Martinez) as we were in the process of moving to closer seats as per my insistence. Sorry dad, I was 8. FINAL RECORD: 98-64, Lost in NLCS.
April 6, 1992: Pirates 2, Expos 0: Doug Drabek pitched a gem, and the Pirates finally scored some runs in the opener to scratch out the win. Although, maybe if Drabek hadn't gone a complete game in this one, he might have a little more juice for the ninth inning of game 7 of the NLCS. If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you like stories with no moral where the bad guy wins, go look it up. Not that I'm bitter or anything. FINAL RECORD: 96-66, Lost in NLCS.
April 6, 1993: Pirates 9, Padres 4. In the previous off-season, the Pirates let virtually every big name player on their roster walk away in free-agency. The three-time Eastern Division champions were planning to rebuild and return to glory quickly around three "stud" prospects: Kevin Young, Al Martin and Carlos Garcia. Who you ask? Exactly. Young homered in the win, teasing all fans with the promise of young power hitter. However, he ended up hitting just five more home runs that season and, as would become a running theme with Pirates top prospects, was cut by the team a few seasons later. In a fascinating turn of events, Young came back to the Pirates in 1997 as a non-roster invitee and made the team out of spring training. He then proceeded to develop into a decent hitter, averaging close to 25 HRs and 100 RBIs for the next two and a half years. To prove their economic viability, the Pirates rewarded him with a lavish 4 year $24 million contract, the richest in club history at that point. I think the day the contract was signed, Young's knees began to give out, and he instantly became a .230 10 HRs a year guy, who couldn't bend over to pick up a ball at first base. The kind of player who's big contract absolutely KILLS a small market franchise. What does this have to do with opening day you ask? Nothing really, but when a guy manages to kill the direction of a franchise twice in a decade, I think he deserves his own paragraph. FINAL RECORD: 75-87, 5th in NL East.
April 8, 1994: Rockies 7, Pirates 3: One of the saving graces of the Pirates 1993 season was that the National League added two expansion teams, the Rockies and Marlins, that helped to pad the Buccos win total. Unfortunately, the Rockies were a wealthy team that actually spent money on free agents, and by opening day 1994 had already passed the idling Pirates talent level. Looking at the rosters, that may not actually have been the case. But as an 11 year-old, that's how it felt on opening day. FINAL RECORD: 53-61, 3rd in NL Central.
April 26, 1995: Expos 6, Pirates 2: Wow. Now this one was memorable. I would venture Pirates fans were some of the most bitter people about the players strike that wiped out the end of the 1994 season and canceled the World Series. Not only did we miss out on half a season of baseball, but the work stoppage did absolutely nothing to improve the plight of small market fans. And to top it all off, our team stunk and was in danger of leaving Pittsburgh. All of these emotions came bubbling over when in the top of the fifth inning, the Pirates committed an unheard of three fielding errors on the same play. In some half-assed attempt to apologize or appease fans, ownership had given away Pirate "flags" to everyone in attendence. When the dust cleared on the fielding debacle, the entire crowd, as if possessed by a higher being, rose as one and proceeded to litter the diamond with the giveaways. It was a biblical proportions rain of Pirate flags. I think everyone's only regret was that it didn't lead to a Pirates forfeit. FINAL RECORD: 58-86, 5th in NL Central.
April 8, 1996: Phillies 6, Pirates 3: The first opener of the Kevin McClatchy ownership era. I remember my dad being overjoyed to find that they were now giving away pencils with the scorecards, as opposed to charging $1.00 for some the crappiest writing instruments known to man. Seriously, whatever Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence with was better than those pencils. This was also the debut of Charlie Hayes, the first in a long-line of middling, mediocre or over-the-hill free-agents the Pirates would sign over the next ten years. The pattern with these signings always goes something like this: Because it's the "small market" Pirates everyone gets super-excited and over inflates the value of said player. Said player plays OK (except for Derek ".125" Bell, although he got Cam Bonifay fired so he gets a pass in my book), but does very little to improve the team, and invariably is traded by July 31 for middling, mediocre or over-the-hill prospects. Anyway, I remember Hayes pulling and 0-for and fouling out to third to kill a late inning rally. Pretty typical ho-hum Pirates loss, somewhat notable for being Jim Leyland's last opener as Pirates manager. FINAL RECORD: 73-89, 5th in NL Central.
April 11, 1997: Dodgers 7, Pirates 1: Easily the best season during the 13 losing seasons, as a team that was a lock to lose 100 games remained in playoff contention until the final week of the season. Of course the Pirates still finished under .500 and got creamed in their home opener, perhaps moving the latter past taxes and just behind death on the list of certainties in life. FINAL RECORD: 79-83, 2nd in NL Central.
April 7, 1998: Braves 11, Pirates 3: One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Braves lead-off hitter Andruw Jones chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" prospect Freddy Garcia. Garcia air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Francisco Cordova?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Chipper Jones. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone came to bat it was 3-0 Braves. Jones hit another moonshot later in the game and Atlanta cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 6th in NL Central.
April 5, 1999: Expos 9, Pirates 2: (I shit you not that what follows is not embellished in the slightest.) One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Expos lead-off hitter F.P. Santangelo (?) chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" free-agent signee Ed Sprague. Sprague air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Jason Schmidt?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Vladimir Guerrero. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone come to bat it was 3-0 Expos. Guerrero hit another moonshot later in the game and Montreal cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 78-83, 3rd in NL Central
April 4, 2000 Astros 5, Pirates 2: The season was scheduled to open the night before to a sell-out crowd. However, the game was rained out, and about a quarter of the people showed up the next night. The weather was so blistering cold, and the attendance so meek, at some point the Pirates decided to give away hot chocolate. I remember doing my best to maneuver the flimsy dixie cup of hot brown water, as my fingers twitched in the frigid air, sending some of the boiling liquid over the sides. Yet the frost bite and third degree burns weren't the most painful part of the evening.
Miraculously, the Pirates escaped the top of the first without giving up a run. Heading into the sixth, they were down only 1-0, and in danger of making it a game. However in that inning, starter Jason Schmidt single-handedly changed that possibility. Schmidt walked the bases loaded (a horrible thing to watch no matter what the circumstances, but absolutely interminable when the temperature's below freezing) then gave up a grand-slam to Richard Hidalgo. Seriously, the Hidalgo home-run may have been the most predictable thing to ever happen in a sporting event. Or at least since Vladimir Guererro's home run in the first inning the previous year. I'm proud to say that despite the weather we stayed until the last out. Notable because it was the last home opener at Three Rivers Stadium. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 5th in NL Central.
April 9, 2001: Reds 8, Pirates 2: This was a game that honestly made you question whether or not there were some supernatural forces behind the Pirates futility. On the morning the team opened PNC Park, Willie Stargell, the Pirate's greatest living player, whom the team was unveiling a statue of that day, died of kidney failure. Even though reviews of the new ballpark were exceptional, the play on the field wasn't. Sean Casey picked up where Vladimir Guerrero left off and hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the first inning. The Pirates never really recovered, and made several errors late in the game helping the Reds blow it open.
Also, this was the quintessential "amateur afternoon" game as my father and I have come to dub openers. Given the number of non-baseball fans in attendance at these things, you often see some particularly ridiculous behavior. Given that this was the first game ever at PNC Park, the amateur factor was through the roof. Sure enough, midway through the game, a woman on the deck below us, leaned against the guard rail, turned AWAY from the field and began to chat with her friends seated at the table behind her. She was utterly oblivious to the fact that by STANDING during play, she completely blocked my view. Of course given the angles, it was only my view she blocked, so I couldn't even get a chorus of support for her to sit down. This was particularly frustrating given that she was either too far away, or too drunk to hear my cries for to "Sit down and watch the f---ing game." Fortunately, she eventually got bored and left the rail, but the cumulative effect of the afternoon nearly had me swearing off home openers for good. FINAL RECORD: 62-100, 6th in NL Central.
Well, I went to college in the fall of 2001, and haven't been home for a Pirates home opener since. The Bucs have actually improved their winning percentage, going 2-2 while I was away at school. This Monday, April, 10, they host the Los Angeles Dodgers in the first game of the season. And despite Ryan Vogelsong, A. Yinzer and 10 above anecdotes that lead me to believe I'm better off at home, I'll be there. Section 222, Row H, Seat 3. I figure I'm due to see a winner. Worst case, I'll have another story to add to the list.
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