tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-114490872012-02-16T19:28:29.438-08:00Zhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05836388573570253610noreply@blogger.comBlogger991100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-60034972495703558012007-10-12T12:53:00.000-07:002007-10-12T17:59:39.791-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m79mHtQ8f0g/RxAYcWN0EcI/AAAAAAAAAB4/EJHmy-V3Gxk/s1600-h/500_289188996_0090ee05bb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="http://bp3.blogger.com/_m79mHtQ8f0g/RxAYcWN0EcI/AAAAAAAAAB4/EJHmy-V3Gxk/s320/500_289188996_0090ee05bb.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5120619651599176130" border="0" /></a><br />Expectations and the Penguins are a funny combination for me. I was happy when the Penguins won the Stanley Cup in 1991, but that same evening, I was more excited that the Pirates beat the Phillies in extra innings. It wasn't until the next spring, when the Pens won their second consecutive Stanley Cup, that I was really a passionate and loyal fan. Both cups followed solid but unspectacular regular seasons, filled with flashes of brilliance, but rarely the kind of prolonged stretches of intensity and consistency that mark an NHL champion.<br /><br />The two cup teams were followed by some of the best regular seasons in club history. Division championship flags were routinely raised to the rafters at the arena, and the team collected the one and only President's Trophy in franchise history. It was this collection of players that should have steamrolled through the playoffs on the way to multiple championships, a dazzling collection of grit and skill. Instead, come playoff time, my assumptions collapsed under a wave of bad bounces, fluke goals, and most importantly, and ominously, the on-set of the neutral zone trap.<br /><br />I thought about those mid-90s Penguins teams a lot last season, as the Penguins collection of breathtaking young talent came of age sooner than anyone expected. Going into last year, our expectations as fans were tempered at best. After getting burned so badly by the 05-06 squad that was ill-constructed for the post-lockout NHL, the general hopes for the season were to remain competitive, to not have our hopes for a playoff spot dashed by the time the calendar flipped to the New Year. Instead, the team found a winning groove in February, and didn't snap out of it until they'd rolled up 105 points and the franchise's first playoff birth in six years.<br /><br />Of course the success of last year also meant there wasn't going to be another season like it, at least for a long time. With the young core of players locked in for a long time, we as fans now know what the team is capable of, have seen them play at a level that at times rivals the best teams in the leagues. We can no longer be pleasantly surprised when they find success, only disappointed when they don't match and eventually exceed their achievements from last season. Ask any Pirates fan, and they'll tell you it's a gift to root for a team that you think can win a championship; but there's a burden that comes with it too.<br /><br />So for the first time in more than a decade, the Penguins entered their home opener last weekend as one of the favorites to win the Eastern Conference. Once again, Karasic, Meghann, Zavo and I were all in attendance, thanks to the continuing insane generosity of Karasic's parents (mixed with a little bit of fortune on EBay this year as well). Here's what I'll remember about this year's opener...<br /><br />...The atmosphere at the arena was much more business like this year than in the previous two. While there's always a certain amount of celebration and pageantry that surrounds a home opener, the hit-and-miss gimmicks that made up the pre-game festivities in years past (old man reading a story video, Superman parody, live penguins on the ice) were largely done away with. We were left with introductions, and a simple highlight video, making it not all that different from a Tuesday night game in February. That's actually more than okay with me at this point though. The Penguins have become the hottest ticket in town, and with that often come hordes of fans who come to games to be seen, not to appreciate the product on the ice. While I doubt it was a conscious decision to stick it to these types of people, it was almost as if the Penguins said "we've come far enough as a team and an organization, that all the fans need to be happy is the product that's on the ice."<br /><br />...It's a good thing I didn't have to steal to eat as a kid. I could barely rate level after we snuck an extra person into our section for the game. Due to the demand for tickets this year, we had to purchase our fourth seat on Ebay, and were planning to rotate one of us into the no-man's land seat every period. However, we thought we'd see if there was an empty seat in our section first before caving. With a stow away in our midst, I could barely keep my breathing normal every time someone walked up the aisle towards us. My eyes kept darting around like I was on night patrol in Fallujah. By the time the puck dropped, I'd worked up a bigger sweat than the guys in the face off circle.<br /><br />...Sidney Crosby crumpling to the ice after taking a slapshot off his foot early in the first period. You'd think given our track record for injury prone hockey superstars in Pittsburgh, I'd be a little better about dealing with our franchise player potentially being hurt. Still, the team's record when Crosby doesn't score, is unbelievably bad, and while we have a boatload of talent on the team, the prospect of playing an extended stretch without the captain is too much to bear. In that moment, more than following any beautiful, no-look set-up, is when you realize the value of Crosby the most.<br /><br />...A new in game video promotion "The Pizza Hut Hot Seat" where a random Penguins player is asked a variety of questions about his preferences in certain situations, like "Betty or Wilma?" or "Coke or Pepsi?" Since it was opening night, the player was naturally Crosby, who elicited perhaps the biggest cheer of the night when he selected "pop" over "soda." I think this would be an awesome way to get the crowd fired up every night, by rigging the answers to questions like "Primanti Bros. or Quizno's?" and "Donnie Iris or Celine Dion?"<br /><br />...The sound of Petr Sykora's shot. We haven't had as pure a goal-scorer since Alexei Kovalev (or 25 games of Zigmund Palffy). Sykora's got quicker wrists than Jesse James, as evidenced by the shot he took in the third period. The pass arrived on his tape, he flicked his stick, and before I realized he shot the puck, I heard it clank off the glass behind the net. Just unreal.<br /><br />...Sykora will score a lot of goals with his shot this season, but I came away even m ore impressed that his two goals on opening night were scored by crashing hard at the net. Sykora played like a man possessed, skating freely all over the ice, cruising for open space, and relishing the chance to be physical. In Sykora, who languished in defense-oriented Edmonton last year, the Penguins may have found a nice template for procuring talent. Pluck skilled guys from teams with a boring offense, and then put them on a line with one of the most gifted playmakers in the game, and watch him go nuts. I know I'd be so pumped up I'd crash the net during the opening of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=WMRhZF3FaNs&amp;mode=related&amp;search="><span style="font-style: italic;">Saving Private Ryan</span></a> in that scenario.<br /><br />...Karasic's reaction when Cotton Eye Joe beat Ah! Leah! on the fans text to pick the next song played contest. I'm as childishly amused by hyper-obese people dancing in the aisles to country re-mixes as the next guy, but not at the expense of insulting a Pittsburgh icon.<br /><br />...Evgeni Malkin, who after fading down the stretch last season, looks absolutely explosive again. My favorite play from the night was when he physically created space in front of the Ducks net, the buried a beautiful cross ice feed from Sykora into a the wide open mesh. It was basically how I scored every goal in NHL 2002.<br /><br />...The guy next to me, who combined numbers two and five on my list of most annoying traits of hockey fans. Every time the Penguins were on the power play, this is all he had to say "shootitshootitshootitshootitshootitshootitshootitawwwwwwwwfuuuuuuuck!" His place in the hall of annoying became complete when positioned next to me at the trough urinal in between periods, he hawked a massive loogie into the toilet before beginning to relieve himself. What a class act.<br /><br />...Sergei Gonchar, who was on the ice for all four Ducks goals. Holy hell, here we go again with this guy. I know he has a widely-know and well-earned reputation as a slow starter, but this was ridiculous. One in two of his passes at this point has a chance of being intercepted and turned the other way for a an odd man rush. My favorite is Sarge's body language during all this. He looks just like Jerome Bettis after his fumble against the Colts in the 2006 playoffs, aware of the shit storm he caused developing behind him, but powerless to do anything to stop it.<br /><br />...The bling. Walking to our seats, we passed a display the featured the Art Ross, Cadler and Hart Trophies. Yeah, last season was pretty fucking sweet.<br /><br />...Crosby's assist on the game-winning goal. Just when you think it's not his night, that maybe that groin strain from the preseason, or the injured foot from earlier in the night is bothering him, out of nowhere, he flashes <span style="font-style: italic;">it</span>. On this night, it was spotting a streaking Ryan Malone flying down the left boards, outracing a defenseman to the puck, and batting it over to hit his teammate in perfect stride. Malone had so much time to pick his corner and shoot, I could have walked over to Zavo sitting in the seat halfway across the arena, and been there to high five him just as the goalie's water bottle was flopping to the ice.<br /><br />...The Ducks fourth goal, which cut the Pens lead to one with just over 30 seconds to play. However, with visions of the 2005 opener and its blown leads, and the quagmire of a season that followed, the Pens got a key clear. By the time the Ducks regrouped and regained their momentum on offense, it was too late to mount a serious threat. Game over. Pens 5, Ducks 4.<br /><br />Walking out of the arena was a completely unique feeling. There wasn't the shell-shocked numbness of 2005, where it took me a week to process the dream like highs and lows I just witnessed. Nor was there the party of last year, where we as a crowd chanted, and cheered and pounded walls in excitement over having just shut out and stunned our biggest rival on opening night. Certainly, we in the crowd were happy, after all, we just began our home schedule by defeating the defending champions. But two years ago, with all the miracles and good fortune that smiled upon us leading up to the season, I'm not sure we would have known enough to truly appreciate the moment. Last year this win would have had the crowd setting bonfires, and turning over cars in South Oakland. This year though, there was definite pulse rampways, but it was subdued. The team was 1-1. There was another game Wednesday night. And after all, they don't award the Stanley Cup based on winning the first home game.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-6003497249570355801?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-25908154722750161522007-08-24T18:46:00.001-07:002007-10-15T20:13:06.040-07:00Sadly, YouTube has taken this video down. I just felt I needed to post what I could find of it here, you know, for posterity.<br /><br /><object height="392" width="464"><param name="movie" value="http://embed.break.com/MTAwODQw"><embed src="http://embed.break.com/MTAwODQw" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="392" width="464"></embed></object><br /><span style="font-size:78%;"><a href="http://www.break.com/index/libraryjerk.html">Pervert Caught At The Library</a> - Watch more <a href="http://www.break.com/">free videos</a></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-2590815472275016152?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1166255264671018912006-12-15T23:47:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:13:54.431-07:00<b> <strike>Uncle Randy</strike> Andrew Gold performing <span style="font-style: italic;">Thank You for Being a Friend</span></b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OppUr-QWPtc"><param name="wmode" value="transparent"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OppUr-QWPtc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" wmode="transparent" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />This week's video commemorates my return to trivia night at a local watering hole. Zavo, some other friends of North O Forbes and myself were big bar trivia players during the summer of 2004, at a local deli/pub. The prize for victory there included a case of Rolling Rock and a $25 gift certificate for sandwiches. For the better part of two months, our team had a nice little winning streak going, where every week,we could play trivia, eat for free on last week's winnings and come home to a refrigerator so stocked with beer we stashed some of it in the vegetable crisper.<br /><br />In retrospect our summer of trivia success probably had more to do with the fact that our team was twice the size of anyone else playing, and most of the other people that did show up were there more for the Long Island special, and as a result too bombed by the game's final round to really care who played <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0064604/">the father</a> on <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0050032/">Leave it to Beaver</a>. In fact, the deli disbanded trivia night shortly after the summer ended. Still, we thought of ourselves as the Gale Sayers of Pittsburgh trivia; forced into an early retirement at the peak of our careers.<br /><br />Last Wednesday, with a very different group of friends, I took my first crack at a pub quiz in more than two years. This time it was at a mega-hip establishment in Lawrenceville, esentially a slice of Brooklyn transplanted to Penn Avenue (and if you don't believe that description, just take a look at the jukebox). Given the clientele at this place, I was pretty sure winning the would be difficult, nee impossible. The hipster chic crowd tends to do well in questions about literature, art and other intellectual subjects where I wouldn't label myself "disturbingly proficient". Essentially, categories that never come up when you're playing a trivia geared towards a bunch of townies in a local deli.<br /><br />However, my confidence was buoyed by when the host kicked off the evening by announcing there would be a whole sports category in the first-round. I try not to brag, so I'll consider this next part more of an admission, but I am disturbinglt proficient with sports trivia. And naturally, I owned the category. I answered five straight questions about sports nicknames without a hitch. With my teammates clutch answers to some other tough questions, I naively thought my sports expertise would propel us to victory. After all, how many hipsters know that Walter Payton also went by the nickname "Sweetness"?<br /><br />Then the host, who looked <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly</span> like Mark Wahlberg if Mark dressed in thrift store clothes, had liposuction and did gobs of coke (ie, dressed to slum it and was really fucking skinny), announced the final category of the night: Name that Tune('s performer and year). "Okay, we can do that," I thought. My team consisted of enough music snobs that pulling a respectable total shouldn't have been a problem. As soon as the first song blared over the speakers, I knew we were screwed. It was a smooth soul ditty with hushed vocals, and brass blazing proudly at the chorus; the kind of tune The Ladies Man wold use to seduce a woman, and we had no clue what it was. Things only got worse from there. By the time they played "Thank You for Being a Friend" all hope was lost. Grasping at straws, my teammate Nathan, offered to all of us that had no idea of the artist's name, or what year the song came out, but, the artist had red, curly hair a beard, and resembled his Uncle Randy. We ended up writing that part down as our answer, and hoping for the best. We also ended up finishing <strike>9th</strike> 6th out of 13 teams.<br /><br />Yet as this video shows, Nathan was dead-on in his recollection of Andrew Gold's physical features. I don't personally have an uncle Randy, but if I did I imagine he would look just like Andrew Gold. This whole story was really just a long-winded way of saying that YouTube is great for confirming these kinds of things.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116625526467101891?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1165893973649644102006-12-11T18:27:00.001-08:002007-10-15T20:14:24.519-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://enquirer.com/editions/2003/03/29/ukwadedrive_zoom.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://enquirer.com/editions/2003/03/29/ukwadedrive_zoom.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Sports Illustrated, which by the way is still a <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/061208">relevant magazine</a>, named Miami Heat guard Dwyane Wade it's <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/si_online/covers/issues/2006/1211.html">Sportsman of the Year</a> this week. While I'll admit to some mild disappointment over the selection, considering Steelers Jerome Bettis and Bill Cowher were both mentioned among the nominees, overall I think it's a good choice. While the Bus's fairy tale ending makes me as misty as any self-respecting terrible towel waver, I think it would be hard to justify SI giving the honor to a back up running back who <a href="http://www.pro-football-reference.com/teams/pit2005.htm">rushed for 368 yards</a> and played in only 3/4 of his team's games. Anyway, I've always had a soft spot for Dwyane Wade, ever since he burst onto the national stage by single-handedly leading Marquette past my Pitt Panthers in the 2003 NCAA tournament. I'm usually a supreme bitch about guys eliminating my team from the playoffs (see Cabrera, Francisco), but something about Wade's performance was different.<br /><br />Earlier this year I applied for a position as a basketball writer with about.com, and with my resume had to submit an original writing sample. I tried to craft a column about witnessing Wade come of age. It probably didn't work. I definitely didn't get the job. Yet rather than let the column rot away in perpetuity on the about.com email server, I'm offering it right now as a personal shout-out to SI's Sportsman of the Year.<br /><br /><p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center; font-weight: bold;" align="center"><span style="font-size:130%;">The Revolution Was Not Televised</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>This is a story about the first time I saw Dwyane Wade play. Well, saw is actually the wrong word. This is a story about the first time I bore witness to Dwyane Wade’s game. I was reminded of this instance during game 3 of the NBA Finals, when Wade willed his team back from the brink of elimination and turned the tide in the series. I thought of it again on Wednesday night as I watched the NBA Draft and wondered if scouting combines, bench presses and vertical leaps be damned, sometimes with a player you just <i style="">know</i>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p>In March of 2003, I was a sophomore at <st1:placename st="on">Vassar</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">College</st1:placetype> in <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Poughkeepsie</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">New York</st1:state></st1:place>. From this outpost on the <st1:city st="on">Hudson</st1:city>, I did my best to follow my <st1:placename st="on">hometown</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">University</st1:placetype> of <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:city></st1:place> Panthers and their quest for the Final Four. That particular Pitt team was one of the best in school history. They went undefeated at home, won the Big East regular season and conference tournament titles, and were seeded #2 in the Midwest Regional. A few national publications even listed the Panthers as a strong dark horse candidate for the national championship.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Pitt seemed poised to meet expectations, storming through the first two rounds of the tournament by an average of 24 points. After dismantling 2002 national runner-up <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Indiana</st1:place></st1:state> 74-52, Hoosiers coach Mike Davis stated emphatically "They are absolutely the best I've seen." It was on to the sweet sixteen for the Panthers, and a date with <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Marquette</st1:place></st1:city>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""> </span>I almost closed the last paragraph with “and a date with Dwayne Wade and Marquette.” But the fact remains; Dwayne Wade wasn’t a pre-fix then, not at that point in his career, and certainly not to the average fan. Looking at his peers from the heralded 2003 NBA Draft class, Lebron James had already been on the cover of <i style="">Sports Illustrated</i>, while Carmelo Anthony was a shoo-in for national freshman of the year. Perhaps playing in a small market, mid-major conference school hurt Wade’s publicity. Perhaps his game had not fully blossomed to the point of rock-star status. At this point, both arguments are kind of irrelevant.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span>The Pitt-Marquette match-up was scheduled for slightly after nine o’clock on a Thursday night. I raced home from a lecture that ran long, hoping to catch the end of the first-half. Breathless, I flicked through the channels on my 1992 black and white Sony television. Finally, I got to CBS and….Kansas vs. Duke. <i style="">Gahdammit.</i> Of course Pitt wouldn’t be the regional broadcast in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Poughkeepsie</st1:place></st1:city>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span>Dejected, I turned to my computer. After an eternity of Google searches and dead links, I finally stumbled on an internet streaming audio of the Pitt radio broadcast. I tossed off my sneakers and stretched out across my bed, hands behind my head, trying to visualize the action being described.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>The second-half was just beginning as I settled in. From what I could gather, Pitt had jumped out to an early lead, but <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Marquette</st1:city></st1:place> had rallied to tie the score. The teams essentially traded buckets since then. It wasn’t the blow-out and relaxing evening I had hoped for, but I took some solace in knowing the Panthers were a second-half team. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">With 17 minutes left to play, and <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Marquette</st1:place></st1:city> leading 40-39, Dwyane Wade drained a jump shot from the outside. Bill Hillgrove, Pitt’s play-by-play man pointed out that it was Wade’s first basket since early in the first half. I hadn’t noticed or cared. The Panthers missed their next two shots and in both instances Wade pushed the ball up-court and drove the lane for a basket. That gave him six straight points and put <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Marquette</st1:place></st1:city> up by seven. Pitt called time-out. The radio broadcast broke for commercial.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">My memory for specific details of the game cuts out after that. The box score shows that Dwyane Wade scored 22 points that night. Twenty of them came in the second half. The number still seems shockingly low. It’s a shame there’s not a statistic able to measure how many buckets Wade hit that curbed Pitt’s momentum; came at a point where the Panthers needed only a defensive stop to get back in the game. Time and time again he drove into the heart of the best defense in the Big East, emerging victorious over and over, his team still one step ahead of the opposition. Final score, Marquette 77, Pitt 74.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">When Dwyane Wade cemented his status as NBA superstar this June, I was somewhat disappointed at my inability to recollect explicit moments or plays from that evening. All told, the loss one of the more painful moments in my time as a college basketball fan. Still, I wanted to have some images of what it looked like the night Wade served notice where his talent could take him.<span style=""> </span>I wished I had some dazzling descriptions of the moves and shakes he used to break a fan’s heart--stories that would be my battle scar.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">As hard as I could, all I could remember about the game were images of my sophomore room. There were sixteen cracks in the ceiling. I remember because I spent the last five minutes of the game counting them over and over again, hoping that ignoring the inevitable end result would make it go away. There were also the ceiling pipes that carried water to the bathroom next door; they seemed to whine and groan on cue every time Wade scored another back breaking basket. Even the feel of the battered wooden chair that sat at my computer desk came back to me. I plopped my nervous, shaking body there sometime late in the game, hoping a change would reverse Pitt’s karmic fortunes. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style=""></span>And yet now, I realize there’s a certain intrigue and power in this recollection. There are plenty of unspectacular players who for one moment in a game, execute a no-look pass or photogenic windmill dunk, then retreat back into relative mediocrity. It takes another kind of player to completely lay waste to a team that for six months had you dreaming of a national championship. They are so complete, so transcendent as athletes that the best way to witness them is listening on the radio alone, where looks can’t be deceiving.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116589397364964410?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1165635585517193562006-12-08T19:39:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:14:56.331-07:00<b>Rupert Jee</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/PJ20FGK6B00"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/PJ20FGK6B00" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />Borat has nothing on Dave and Rupert.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116563558551719356?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1165249072253429322006-12-04T06:41:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:15:20.726-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.tervis.com/img/productgroups/l/283.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.tervis.com/img/productgroups/l/283.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The last 48 hours epitomize why I can't get into college football. For every year (like last year) when the games break perfectly, there are three years when the teams in the BCS Championship game might as well be decided by the 2000 Florida Electoral College. While the debate rages over the decision to have one-loss Florida instead of one-loss Michigan meet undefeated Ohio State in the title game, I think everyone may be missing an interesting angle: shouldn't Boise St. be playing the Buckeyes? Despite playing in a "mid-major" conference, the Broncos are the only other team without a loss in Division I college football. If the Gators beat tOSU, and Boise St. beats Oklahoma in the Orange Bowl, would it really be that much of a stretch to declare the Broncos the best team in the country?<br /><br />As further proof, I offer this little nugget of logic:<br /><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262500068">Boise State <span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span></a><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262500068"></a><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262500068">> Oregon State</a><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=263010204">Oregon State > USC</a><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262450008">USC > Arkansas</a><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262800002">Arkansas > Auburn</a><br /><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262870002">Auburn > Florida</a><br /><br />Therefore:<br /><br />Boise St. > Florida<br /><br />If Florida beats Ohio St.<br /><br />Florida > Ohio St. and Boise St. > Ohio St.<br /><br />Are there holes in this logic? Of course. Will this scenario play out? Probably not. Am I rooting for it to happen? <span style="font-style: italic;">Absolutely</span>.<br /><br />Of course the Coaches Poll voters are required to vote whoever wins the "Tositos" BCS Championship as #1. However, the AP Poll voters can do whatever they see fit.<br /><br />Presenting your 2006 NCAA Division I College Football co-National Champions Boise St. Broncos.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116524907225342932?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1165093901216071282006-12-02T12:46:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:15:49.446-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.pittsburghpenguins.com/images/200510/2613.f.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.pittsburghpenguins.com/images/200510/2613.f.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The Tampa Bay Lightning <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06336/743112-100.stm">claimed Penguins winger Andre Roy</a> off of waivers today, ending Roy's year-and-a-half tenure with the black and gold. As the list below shows, Roy's departure leaves <strike style="font-style: italic;">one</strike> <span style="font-style: italic;">two</span> players on the Penguins roster (<strike>two</strike> three if you count Mark Recchi) from the group that Craig Patrick brought in following the 2003-04 season. And to think, this was the group that made me think the Pens were closer to a championship than the Steelers.<br /><br />Sergei Gonchar: Still with Penguins<br />John LeClair: Placed on waivers, November 2006<br />Lyle Odelien: Who the fuck knows, February 2006 (?)<br />Zigmund Palffy: Retired January 2006<br />Mark Recchi: Traded to Carolina, March 2006 (re-signed with Penguins, summer 2006)<br />Andre Roy: Claimed off of waivers by Tampa Bay, December 2006<br />Jocelyn Thibault: Still with Penguins<br /><br />At least the Penguins never tried to sign Joe Randa.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116509390121607128?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1165091932707486092006-12-02T12:38:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:16:19.690-07:00<b>Orson Welles</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/K3qg4i22x9M"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/K3qg4i22x9M" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />You know, watching this movie, we suddenly don't feel so bad about ourselves. So what if we're single, working a job we hate and going home to our mom's house every other weekend to do laundry. <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orson_Welles">Orson Welles</a> was 26 when he made what is widely considered the <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0033467/">finest film</a> in the history of cinema. Yet, by the time he hit his late 60s, he was constantly bombed out of his gourd and pimping boxed wine on late-night network TV just to pay the rent. The lesson: it's all about pacing yourself.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116509193270748609?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1164866984887022492006-11-29T21:35:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:16:43.044-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1727/1179/1600/315239/madden-curse-towers.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/x/blogger/1727/1179/320/579848/madden-curse-towers.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Although Shaun Alexander made a triumphant return from injury on Monday night, his performance was also a not-subtle reminder of the Madden cover curse. You see, Alexander set an NFL record for touchdowns last season, powering his Seattle Seahawks to the NFC Championship. Not surpisingly, Alexander was picked to grace the cover of Madden 07 which considered a greater honor in most frat houses across America than being elected president. However, like so many Madden cover boys before him (see McNabb, Donovan, Lewis, Ray Vick, Michael, Faulk, Marshall, etc., etc., etc.), his season was cut down by injury, the culprit this time being a broken foot in week three.<br /><br />While 201 yards on 40 carries is nice, you have to imagine that Seahawks fans, whose team stands 7-4, are probably wondering what might have been had their star running back not posed for that darned cover. While Seattle still stands to make the playoffs, they would have a much better chance at a higher seed and home field advantage had their all-world running back not missed nearly half the season.<br /><br />And just in case you don't believe in curses, the website <a href="http://www.pulledmygroin.com/Sports/428/madden-curse-reponsible-for-shaun-alexander-injury-my-wife-leaving-me">Pulled My Groin</a>, who supplied the above picture, offers a pretty compelling argument as to the validity of this particular instance of voodoo.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116486698488702249?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1164744683664112962006-11-28T11:25:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:17:11.241-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.bondmovies.com/villains/koskov.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.bondmovies.com/villains/koskov.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>As Evgeni Malkin continues to <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=qkjAHlTrAyw&amp;mode=related&amp;search=">take the NHL by storm</a> in his rookie season, I find myself forgetting from time-to-time what a <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/08/evgeni-malkin-is-probably-_115561662172416105.html">struggle it was</a> for the Penguins to bring him to the U.S. Well, Malkin's old team in Russia hasn't forgotten, and as Yahoo! Sports' Josh Peter reports, <a href="http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/news;_ylt=Ag6HvOV.d9bDM9OBeVtmq_J7vLYF?slug=jo-malkin112006&amp;prov=yhoo&amp;type=lgns">boy are they pissed</a>.<br /><br />While there is little to no chance Metallurg Magnitogorsk will emerge victorious from these court proceedings, you have to admire the pluck of the team's general manager, Gennady Velichkin, who is doing everything he personally can to let the sporting world know he is incredibly damn Russian. When asked to comment on the case, Velichkin set down his Dostoevsky novel, took a bite of kavier and poured himself a slow shot of vodka before retorting<br /><br />"<span style="font-size:85%;">The Americans' arrogance is beyond any bounds. This is the theft of the century. They don't care that Malkin is Russia's national treasure.</span><span style="font-size:85%;"> We must sue not only Pittsburgh but the entire National Hockey League and its whole arrogance. The NHL must receive a total condemnation from the entire sporting world.</span>"<br /><br />Velichkin is also the guy who held a disheveled Malkin in a dank and dessolate basement cell, slapped him around, then psychologically co-erced him into unwittingly signing a new contract with Metallurg. Then, when that master plan fell through, he pounded on his slick, polished oak desk in his office high above the city and swore vengeance on these infidels and traitors.<br /><br />What's funny is that the Dostoevsky, kaviar and vodka are the only parts I made up.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116474468366411296?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1164121871367068842006-11-21T07:11:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:18:01.107-07:00<b>Oh, Kramer</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/-T7uKvpzVXI"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/-T7uKvpzVXI" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />As anyone who reads the celebrity gossip pages knows, this is video of comedian Michael Richards, Kramer from <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0098904/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Seinfeld</span></a>, exploding into a racist diatribe during a performance at The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles Saturday night. Richards, who, <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2006/11/20/richards-im-really-busted-up/">apologized </a>on <span style="font-style: italic;">The Late Show with David Letterman</span> last night, said he became incensed when a group in the audience heckled him and he "took it badly." He then awkwardly tried to put the incident in sociological perspective, saying "he was concerned about the hate and rage," and "the great deal of disturbance between blacks and whites after Hurricane Katrina."<br /><br />While we're saddened and disturbed that this favored icon of our youth would exhibit such intolerance, we're also slightly amused by the fall-out. For example, any incident that gets a video titled "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=kvQq0HQ45Q4&amp;mode=related&amp;search=">Kramer is a Racist Motherfucker</a>" on YouTube has to make you chuckle. We also think this video explains why it's been so hard for Michael Richards to establish a post-<span style="font-style: italic;">Seinfeld</span> career. Even as he spews some of the most hate-filled words in the English language, we expect him to snap his fingers, wink, dance herky-jerky across the stage and blame the whole thing on a roofy Bob Sacamano slipped him.<br /><br />And while we don't in any means condone this type of behavior, we still think there are worse things in which a washed-up, former superstar comedian from NBC <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/god-bless-youtube-week-14.html">can engage</a>.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEFINITELY NOT SUITABLE FOR WORK.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116412187136706884?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1164045416737975982006-11-20T09:44:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:18:52.349-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.trueblueberry.com/en/images/trueblue-bottlegroup-2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.trueblueberry.com/en/images/trueblue-bottlegroup-2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Ugly, ugly end of the season for the Illinois Fighting Illini and official North O Forbes QB Juice Williams, who lost to Northwestern <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/11/18/34803_recap.html">27-16</a> Saturday. Despite several close calls against ranked teams, the Illini finished their season with a 2-10 record. Juice had perhaps his <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/11/18/34803_boxscore.html">worst game of the season</a> againt the Wildcats, completing just 4 of 17 passes for 65 yards with 0 TDs and 0 INTs, while rushing 12 times for 54 yards and score. Juice's play was the fitting cap on a season that saw him go 0-7 after earning his title from North O Forbes. While disappointed about Juice, we're somewhat excited that we may have stumbled across a new way to curse athletes. We just might have to make Carson Palmer the official North O Forbes QB next season. He'd probably blow out his knee in a play-off game against the Steelers or something.<a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/11/18/34803_boxscore.html"><br /></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116404541673797598?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163784928546371032006-11-17T08:52:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:19:28.834-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.seniorbowl.com/2006/graphics/photos/06.nfl.nolan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.seniorbowl.com/2006/graphics/photos/06.nfl.nolan.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When he was hired by the San Francisco 49ers two years ago, head coach Mike Nolan petitioned the NFL to let him wear a suit on the sideline. The move would honor his father Dick Nolan, who wore a suit during his tenure as 49ers head coach from 1968-75. Somewhat surprisingly, the league rejected the idea, citing it's agreement with Reebok to supply all coaching apparel.<br /><br />Well after 18 months of waiting, Nolan is finally going to get his wish. The NFL <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2663580">announced Wednesday</a> that Reebok has designed a suit ensemble for Nolan and Jaguars coach Jack Del Rio. An NFL spokesman confirmed that Nolan has been given permission to "test-drive" the suit for two games this season (you know, just in case it looks hideous or something; god forbid an NFL coach should <a href="http://www.nfl.com/images/nflnetwork/bill_belichick_110204_240x200.jpg">look like a shlub</a> on the sideline).<br /><br />Seriously though, don't you think Mike Nolan was the biggest brown noser in grade school? "Oh teacher, I think you forgot to assign us homework. Teacher! Someone put a kick me sign on your back! Teacher, do you think I could wear a suit on the field trip rather than jeans and a tee-shirt?" I hope the other NFL coaches give him the swirly treatment during the next set of off-season meetings.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116378492854637103?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163625131653354512006-11-15T13:12:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:20:04.659-07:00<b>The Apache Dance</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/fwdcKEO9vls"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/fwdcKEO9vls" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />Say what you will about the moon landing, 9/11, or even the chocolate factory episode of <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0043208/"><span style="font-style: italic;">I Love Lucy</span></a> but in my opinion, this is the greatest moment in the history of television.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116362513165335451?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163540911315561022006-11-14T13:47:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:20:27.404-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061113wAPpittbb_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061113wAPpittbb_450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Now is the winter of our discontent. The Steelers “defense” of the Super Bowl championship ended the second the final gun sounded against the Raiders. Souped up with the arrival of Evgeni Malkin, the Penguins looked like world beaters for a couple weeks. However, injuries, a tougher schedule and younger players crashing back down to earth have spawned a rash of games that look far too much like last year’s debacle. Pitt football is desperately fighting make it to the Birmingham Bowl <p class="MsoNormal">Yet, fortunately, all sports hope is not lost right now as four months of freezing rain and grey skies descend upon our little burgh. The #4 ranked Pitt Panthers basketball team opens their home schedule tonight against Delaware State. With eight of ten players back from last year’s squad that went 25-8 and made the NCAA tournament, the Panthers figure to challenge for a final four appearance.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Since Pitt burst back onto the national basketball scene in 2001-02, they’ve been both a revelation and a paradox. For a multitude of reasons, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city> is far from a basketball town. Certainly there are a decent number of passionate and educated enthusiasts in the area, yet the average burgh sports fans don’t have the interest or knowledge to look at hoops in the same way they look at football. While the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Petersen</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Events</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Center</st1:placetype></st1:place> is often sold out for every home game, the majority of the tickets go to students, alumni and corporate donors. This isn’t all bad, as the Pete is considered among the biggest home court advantages in the Big East conference. Yet, the lack of tickets makes it difficult for new fans to attend, and to fall in love with the game and the team.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">This upcoming season may be one of the most important in Panthers basketball history. The above-mentioned struggles of other local teams have <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city> fans itching to support a winner. With the overwhelming support for the Steelers, and the impending emergence of the Penguins, there won’t be too many other years where Pitt hoops has the ability to dominate the headlines. As fickle as it may sound, I’m also concerned with how many chances casual fans will give Pitt after they fall short of expectations. In their five tournament appearances during the Howland/Dixon era, the Panthers have lost to a lower-seeded team four times and never made it past the sweet sixteen. </p> <p class="MsoNormal">As national and conference powers <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Syracuse</st1:place></st1:city> and UConn can attest, this is more or less the nature of March Madness. Following their emergence, both schools took easily more than a decade to make their first Final Four appearance. But <st1:city st="on">Syracuse</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">NY</st1:state> and <st1:city st="on">Bristol</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">CT</st1:state> are a lot different than <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. Those schools are both the only shows in town, and fans there have little choice but to retain interest in the program. With a multitude of national games on TV, a team of talented character guys, and a down year for traditional Big East powers, Pitt has the opportunity to put its program on the map to stay both locally and nationally.</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Since the sweet sixteen has been the Panthers’ Achilles heel, I’ll avoid the number and give 15 reasons some for casual fans, some for season ticket holders, to be excited about the upcoming season:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p></o:p>1) Aaron Gray:</b> The Big East pre-season Player of the Year, a 7-0 monster in the middle and the personification of what Pitt’s program is all about. <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/gray_aaron00.html">Gray </a>was an unheralded recruit from <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Emmaus</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">PA</st1:state></st1:place> who saw limited minutes in his first two seasons, backing up the highly touted Chris Taft. Finally given the opportunity to start last year, Gray <a href="http://images.tsn.ca/images/stories/20060317/pittsburgh_gray_81800.jpg">shed 30 lbs.</a> from his <a href="http://vmedia.rivals.com/uploads/1004/34163.jpg">freshman frame</a> and averaged 13.9 points and 10.5 rebounds per game, earning him first-team all-conference honors. This summer, Gray eschewed a likely spot in the first round of the NBA draft to return to Pitt for the chance to win a national championship.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">2) One for Maggie</b>: Last March, Pitt coach Jamie Dixon and his younger sister Maggie were quite the story. The same month Jamie led the Pitt to the NCAA men’s tournament, 28 year-old Maggie led Army to the women’s NCAA tournament, the first time siblings had ever accomplished such a feat. Three weeks later, Maggie <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06098/680592-175.stm">passed away suddenly</a> from a heart arrhythmia; an event her brother admits still <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06139/691457-175.stm">never fully leaves his mind</a>. What a testament to her memory a Final Four appearance would be.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">3) The Schedule</b>: Every year Pitt gets seeded lower than expected in the NCAA tournament, and the committee’s justification is always the same: weak out of conference schedule. This year, Pitt <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/teamsched?teamId=221">finally took heed</a>. In addition to the Western Michigan’s and <st1:placename st="on">Delaware</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">State</st1:placetype>’s of the world, Pitt is also playing at top-ten ranked <st1:state st="on">Wisconsin</st1:state> and up-and-coming <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Oklahoma</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">State</st1:placetype></st1:place>. In February, the Panthers will also play host to Pac-10 power <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Washington</st1:place></st1:state> in the rare out of conference game after the new year.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">4) College Game-Day</b>: The new-to-basketball ESPN institution makes its first stop at the <st1:placename st="on">Petersen</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Events</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Center</st1:placetype> for the January 13, 2007 contest against <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Georgetown</st1:place></st1:city>. Now that’s big-time, baby.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">5) Mike Cook</b>: The junior transfer from <st1:place st="on">East Carolina</st1:place> has been fantastic in pre-season play, filling a slight weakness at small forward. <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/cook_mike00.html">Cook</a> is a solid defender and an explosive slasher offensively, with the ability to finish better in transition than any Panther since…since…well, it’s been a while.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">6) The National Anthem</b>: If you’re fortunate enough to attend a Pitt game this season, make sure you watch the Panthers during the National Anthem. Rather than stoically resting their hands at their sides, Pitt’s players stand in line and wrap their around each other’s shoulders, essentially creating one giant bear hug. It’s a great exemplification of the type of chemistry that recent Panther teams have been known for.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">7) Fashion Statement:</b> Recently promoted top-assistant <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/antigua_orlando00.html">Orlando Antigua</a> is a former Pitt stand-out from the early 90s. <st1:place st="on">Antigua</st1:place> played three seasons of his career with a bullet lodged in his skull, the after-effects of a high school shooting. Following graduation, <st1:place st="on">Antigua</st1:place> became the first Harlem Globetrotter of Latin descent, earning the nickname “Hurricane.” If that’s not enough, he’s known to wear a bow-tie when he coaches.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p></o:p>8) The <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Oakland</st1:place></st1:city> Zoo</b>: Yes, they idiotically called Chris Quinn a pussy last year. Yes, they sometimes get a little too quiet when Pitt plays sluggishly. However, there’s a reason opposing players rank the <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Petersen</st1:placename> <st1:placename st="on">Events</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">Center</st1:placetype></st1:place> the toughest place to play in the Big East, and the Pitt student section is a big part of that.<span style=""> </span>The fact that six year’s ago Pitt was playing in a dated building with lackluster attendance makes the crowd’s impact that much more spectacular.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">9) New Coaches</b>: There was genuine concern among Panthers fans when long-time assistants Joe Lombardi and Barry Rohrssen departed to take head-coaching jobs elsewhere. Rohrssen, a holdover from the Howland days was particularly seen as a big loss, given his recruiting ties to the <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New York</st1:place></st1:state> area. Yet the Panthers wisely hired <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/rice_mike00.html">Mike Rice, Jr.</a> and <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/cox_david01.html">David Cox</a> to fill out the staff. The effects of Rice with his connections to <st1:city st="on">Philadelphia</st1:city> and Cox with his connections to <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Washington</st1:city>, <st1:state st="on">DC</st1:state></st1:place> were already felt in the 2007 recruiting class, the Panthers most geographically balanced in a long time.</p> <b style="">10) Not Your Older Brother’s Offense</b>: In recent years, Pitt’s offense has been a deliberate half-court set looking to work the shot clock for a high-percentage shot. With quick low post-men and better outside shooters, this Panthers team has the ability to give a multitude of looks offensively, and perhaps even run a high-octane attack if necessary. <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">11) O Fortuna</b>: Interesting choice in music, but <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=YDQKpuCTBMM">I guess I can roll with it</a>…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style=""><o:p></o:p>12) Sam Young on the Fast Break</b>: Think of him as the Big East’s version of <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=Q4IJN7Nj1Dk">Josh Smith</a>, the Atlanta Hawks guard that some pro basketball writers dub “the best YouTube worthy player in the NBA.” If you saw <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/young_sam00.html">Young</a> on the street, you’d never believe the athletic gifts he possesses, but listen to the palpable murmur of anticipation in the home crowd sometime as he runs down the wing during a two-on-one break. Simply electrifying.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><b style="">13) All About the Walk-Ons</b>: With the graduation of crowd favorite Charles Small, the Oakland Zoo will have to find a new bench player to cheer for once the Panther lead gets out of hand. The early line on this favors newcomer <a href="http://pittsburghpanthers.cstv.com/sports/m-baskbl/mtt/rizk_geoff00.html">Geoff Rizk</a>.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">14) Fundamentals</b>: In a college game that’s revolving more and more around dunks and three-point shooting, it’s nice to watch a team that stakes its reputation on defense, rebounding and passing. Or, as Jamie Dixon says “our goal is to out-rebound the opposition by ten and hold them under 40% shooting. If we do that we’re pretty confident we’ll come out on top.”</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><b style="">15) The Quest for #1</b>: The Panthers have never been ranked first in the country in any poll at any point in their history. Twice in 2002-03 they got to #2, but lost one-point games on the road that cost them the top spot. A strong start to the season gives the Panthers a good shot at the mark; and if they don’t make it their during the regular season, they’ll just have to win the national championship in March.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116354091131556102?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163472779242147792006-11-13T18:20:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:20:51.917-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.hormel.com/images/glossary/j/juice_tomato_2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.hormel.com/images/glossary/j/juice_tomato_2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Another week, another blown second-half lead for official North O Forbes quarterback Juice Williams and his Illinois Fighting Illini, this week <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/11/11/34058_recap.html">falling to Purdue 42-31</a>. The Illini held a 23-14 lead with six minutes to go in the third quarter before the Boilermakers ran off touchdowns on four consecutive possessions to take a 42-23 lead and effectively end the game. Juice <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/11/11/34058_boxscore.html">continued to struggle</a> with his passing, going 8-for-29 for 95 yards, 0 TDs and 1 INT, however, he was a force on the ground, gaining 145 yards on 22 carries and a score.<br /><br />Next week, Juice gets his last chance for a win as the official North O Forbes QB, as Illinois closes out its season with a 1:00 game at Northwestern.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116347277924214779?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163318974282992742006-11-12T00:09:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:21:26.393-07:00<b>What's Gotten Into This Pizza?</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/VG4FC6ZAKd8"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/VG4FC6ZAKd8" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />I'm posting this video in anticipation of what might happen tomorrow afternoon at Heinz Field. The defending Super Bowl champion Steelers are in danger of falling to 2-7 by losing to a New Orleans Saints team that is notoriously less physical than the levees protecting the 9th Ward. Yes, by Sunday dinner we really may be desperately searching for things to smile about.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116331897428299274?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1163143388354047482006-11-09T21:29:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:23:38.460-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061109ds_xpolsion_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061109ds_xpolsion_450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>First of all, I'd like to clear up any rumors you might have heard. Yes, there is a professional basketball team in Pittsburgh and yes, they are actually called the <a href="http://www.blogger.com/www.pittsburghxplosion.com">Xplosion</a>. (Apparently, ABA franchises follow the WNBA trend of dropping a letter from the nickname, as opposed to the late 80s NBA trend of names taking on the singular form (see Heat, Miami and Magic, Orlando), but I digress). Anyway, the Xplosion finished with a winning record last season and made a decent playoff run. Unfortunately for them, no one in Pittsburgh paid attention.<br /><br />In direct response to this problem, the team embarked on an off-season mission to <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06313/736879-139.stm">sign any and every available player</a> with even the smallest connection to western Pennsylvania. So far the Xplosion's haul includes Schenley High School and Kent State alum Nate Gerwig, former Pitt Panthers Jaron Brown and Chris Seabrooks, former Duquesne guard Bryant McAlister, and WVU alumni Drew Schifino and (gasp!) <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Pittsnogle">Kevin Pittsnogle</a>. Personally, I'm surprised the Xplosion weren't scouting <a href="http://www.pump.org/psl.jsp">PSL</a> Basketball games.<br /><br />Clearly though, character wasn't a requisite characteristic when the Xplosion over-hauled their roster. Seabrooks was a highly rated recruit who got into a few fights on campus was evnetuially kicked off the team. Schifino was the Mountaineers leading scorer before he was kicked off the team for undisclosed reasons. And Kevin Pittsnogle, well, as everyone knows he committed the most egregious offense by serving corn dogs and Domino's pizza at his wedding reception, the posting <a href="http://community.webshots.com/album/343869500QvnXvO">these pictures</a> online. Needless to say, I am so disappointed the team doesn't have a beat writer this season.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116314338835404748?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162935486675915182006-11-07T13:38:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:24:20.106-07:00<b>Election Day</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/kkiz1_d1GsA"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/kkiz1_d1GsA" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />Happy Election Day. On this special Tuesday, we bring you an appropriately themed GBYT with this commercial for Bob Corker, Tennessee candidate for the US Senate. This ad caused quite a firestorm nationally, centering around the blond woman from the "Playboy Mansion," who requests in a hushed, seductive voice for Corker's black opponent Harold Ford, Jr. to call her. The accusations of race-bating were every political talking-heads wet dream, and dominated the cable news channels...until Marty McFly decided to "<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=a9WB_PXjTBo">skip his meds</a>." Really though, we're not as much concerned with the Playboy Bunny as we are why the fuck that one guy is wearing camo face paint.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116293548667591518?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162871235117936782006-11-06T18:21:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:25:02.636-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.naturalgroup.net/graphics/small/Avvio%20Grape%20Juice.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.naturalgroup.net/graphics/small/Avvio%20Grape%20Juice.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well, I'm not sure what to make of the official North O Forbes QB today. Juice Williams and the Illinois Fighting Illini, heavy underdogs to top-ranked Ohio State, gave the Buckeyes their closest game of the year, <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/11/04/34049_recap.html">losing 17-10</a>. Coming into the afternoon, OSU hadn't won any game by fewer than 17 points, including a 24-7 romp against fourth-ranked and defending national champion Texas. Sadly though, Juice had little to do with the <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/11/04/34049_boxscore.html">final outcome</a>. On the positive side, the Illini defense that beat up the potent Ohio State offense, holding Buckeyes QB and Heisman favorite Troy Smith to just 138 yards of total offense. Yet with Illinois down 17-0 heading into the fourth quarter, head coach Ron Zook benched the official North O Forbes QB in favor of back-up Tim Brasic. Brasic promptly led the Illini to a pair of scoring drives, that made the end of the game interesting at least. Juice's final stats were 8-of-20 for 77 yards with 0 TDs and 0 INTs with 13 rushing yards on four attempts.<br /><br />Next Saturday, Juice looks again to get his first North O Forbes QB win when Illinois hosts Purdue at noon.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116287123511793678?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162830680364550822006-11-06T06:33:00.001-08:002007-10-15T20:25:34.388-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://cdn.news.aol.com/aolnews_photos/09/06/20060808005509990001"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://cdn.news.aol.com/aolnews_photos/09/06/20060808005509990001" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well, that talk of back-to-back Super Bowls didn't last long, did it? Yesterday's six turnover masterpiece against the Denver Broncos essenitally eliminated the Steelers from playoff contention. Even if the black and gold run the table the rest of the way(stop snickering) their early season struggles have put them on the short end of virtually every tie-breaker. But fear not Steeler fans, there is at least one good reason to keep watching games this season.<br /><br />Down at the good old University of Oklahoma, there's a junior running back from Palestine, Texas who goes by the name of <a href="http://www.soonersports.com/ViewArticle.dbml?DB_LANG=C&amp;SPID=190&amp;SPORT_TAB_SEL=02&amp;DB_OEM_ID=300&amp;SPSID=2470&amp;ATCLID=67730&amp;Q_SEASON=2006">Adrian Peterson</a>. Peterson is a 6'2" 225 lbs. workhorse with unheard of speed (a 4.35 40 time) for a player his size. During his senior year in high school, many recruiting services called Peterson the best high-school recruit in the last decade. His college career has largely lived up to these loft expectations. In two and a half seasons with the Sooners, Peterson has rushed for nearly 4,000 yards, including 39 touchdowns with an average of 5.4 yards per carry. As a freshman in 2004, Peterson was the runner-up to Matt Leinart for the Heisman Trophy. If, as expected, he enters the NFL Draft this spring, Peterson is a likely top-five pick.<br /><br />In case you couldn't tell Peterson is an ideal fit for the Pittsburgh offense, which, despite the flirtation with the no-huddle, and the glitz and glamour of Willie Parker, works best with a bigger back who can wear down defenses with 25-30 carries a game. Now getting Peterson in a Steelers jersey isn't going to be easy. There are a lot of bad teams itching to add a running back of this caliber to their roster, and even if the Steelers are in position to pick Peterson, there's a good chance they'll opt for an offensive lineman or linebacker or some other non-skill position. Still, there are eight games remaining this season, and with enough fumbled kick-off returns, red-zone interceptions and cornerbacks being burned for big plays, I think the Steelers can make this dream a reality. The drive for six may be dead, but the drive for Adrian Peterson is alive and well.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116283068036455082?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162328550718362602006-10-31T13:02:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:26:13.834-07:00<b>Norbit</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/fCcSIHCkaek"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/fCcSIHCkaek" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />For a while now I've been hearing this rumor that once upon a time, no one was funnier than Eddie Murphy. He was the pinnacle of comedy and the height of cool all rolled into one, and strong legion of loyal adoring fans helped make him one of the highest paid entertainers in the world.<br /><br />I imagine those fans remember Eddie Murphy’s prime like a marooned sailor remembers his home; it’s a distant memory that with every passing day feels more and more like a dream. I say this in light of the above preview for Murhpy’s new movie <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0477051/">Norbit</a>, which looks like a horrific clusterfuck between his character in <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0131325/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Bowfinger</span></a> and Martin Lawrence's in <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0208003/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Big Momma’s House</span></a>. I’m at a loss as to why this movie was ever made, although, I suppose it’s possible Eddie Murphy needs the paycheck to <a href="http://www.rotten.com/library/bio/entertainers/comic/eddie-murphy/">help out</a> another poor, lost, helpless transvestite.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116232855071836260?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162318271135397062006-10-31T09:52:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:26:46.868-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.floridajuice.com/images/img_grapefruit_juice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.floridajuice.com/images/img_grapefruit_juice.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Yeah, I know we're a day late with this but blogger was crawling yesterday, and it took us <span style="font-style: italic;">forever </span>to finish up the Roethlisberger piece. Anyway, it is with bitter disapointment that we report that official North O Forbes quarterback Juice Williams and the Illinois Fighting Illini <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/10/28/34138_boxscore.html">dropped another heartbreaker</a> this weekend, 30-24 at Wisconsin. In what remains a distrubing pattern, the Illini raced out to a 24-10 halftime lead on the 17th ranked and once beaten Badgers, before surrendering 20 unanswered points in a listless final two quarters. Juice was solid if not spectacular in defeat, going 13-of-29 passing for 171 yards, 1 TD and 1 INT, as well as rushing for 53 yards on 19 carries.<br /><br />Since gaining official North O Forbes QB status, Williams and his teammates have gone 0-4, leading three of those games at the half, and losing the other on a last second field goal. If there's any time to break the streak it's next week, when Illinois hosts undefeated and #1 ranked Ohio State. If Juice and his boys pull this off we'll...we'll...well, we're not sure what we'll we do, but we'll definitely be very excited.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116231827113539706?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1162178198177045052006-10-29T15:55:00.000-08:002007-10-15T20:27:27.741-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.nfl.com/u/photos/pl_180632.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://images.nfl.com/u/photos/pl_180632.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Three damn yards. With no time on the clock yesterday, Ben Roethlisberger completed a hail Mary pass to Nate Washington that ended up three yards short of the endzone. Final score: Raiders 20, Steelers 13. Now, a team with pre-season Super Bowl aspirations just lost to a team whom many experts thought might go winless. Yet in a lot of ways, those three yards have exemplified the season for the now 2-5 and last place Pittsburgh Steelers.<br /><br />I'm not savy enough to pin-point specifically what's ailing the team. If I did, I could probably charge the Steelers Duce Staley's salary for the information. Hell, they could pay me that amount to take some crappy Polaroid pictures of the team, and I'd be doing more for them than Duce. Anyway, I do want to speak on Ben Roethlisberger. Yesterday was, especially considering the opponent, Ben's worst performance as a Steeler. Unfortunately, most of his other games that would compete for that title have come this season. Still, I have a big problem with the national media saying that Bill Cowher should be starting Charlie Batch. Last night at halftime on NBC, Sterling Sharp implied that going with Batch was an absolute must. Amazingly, Peter King, probably the most prominent football writer in America seconded Sharp's opinion in his <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/peter_king/10/30/mmqb/index.html">Monday Morning Quarterback column</a> this morning.<br /><br />I think Sterling Sharp's an idiot and King has slurped one too many of those fucking venti hazelnut lattes. First of all, as close as the Steelers are to being 5-2 as opposed to 2-5, they have virtually no chance to make the playoffs. Charlie Batch is a fine back-up, maybe even among the best in the league, but the Steelers long-term future hinges in the continued development of Ben Roethlisberger. I would much rather the Steelers lose one or two more games this season and get Ben back on track, than pad the win total with Batch behind center and have an uncertain QB situation heading into 2007.<br /><br />Also, there's no guarantee that Charlie Batch will be THAT much better than Roethlisberger. Granted, I imagine Batch wins the game yesterday, but the national media is touting Chaz based on a very small sample size. In essentially six quarters of play, Batch has completed 24-of-39 passes for 5 TDs and 0 INTs. Impressive numbers to say the least. However, those stats have come against a 1-6 Miami Dolphins team, and an Atlanta Falcons defense that was so under-manned up front, it was routinely putting eight or nine guys in the box. In two quarters of that same game, Roethlisberger riddled the Atlanta secondary to the tune of 16-of-22 for 238 yards and 3 TDs, in what easily would have been a career day were it not for Chauncey Davis's helmet. In both of his appearances this season, opposing team's found out less than a week before the game that Batch would be getting the nod. As Tommy Maddox can attest, that doesn't necessarily guarantee success. Yet one would naturally assume that Batch's numbers might regress after teams game-plan specifically for him.<br /><br />In his short career, the biggest concern I have with Big Ben is his alarming tendency to get hurt. However, that does give a nice amount of data to analyze how he plays when coming off of an injury. In two and a half seasons, Roethlisberger has been hurt approximately six times, missing six games in the process. The injury count factors in the two times (broken thumb, concussion) he did not miss a start, and counts the off-season motorcycle accident/appendectomy as one incident. Anyway, in here are the stat lines in Roethlisberger's first game after getting hurt<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">January 15, 2005</span>: <a href="http://sports-att.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=250115023">Steelers 20, Jets 17:</a> 17-of-30, 180 yards, 1 TD 2 INT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 27, 2005</span>: <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=251023004">Steelers 27, Bengals 13:</a> 9-of-14, 93 yards, 2 TDs, 1 INT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">November 28, 2005:</span> <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=251128011">Colts 26, Steelers 7:</a> 17-of-33, 133 yards, 1 TD, 2 INT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">December 4, 2005:</span> <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=251204023">Bengals 38, Steelers 31:</a> 29-of-41, 386 yards, 3 TD, 3 INT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">September 18, 2006:</span> <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=260918030">Jaguars 9, Steelers 0</a>: 17-of-31, 141 yards, 0 TD, 2 INT<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">October 29, 2006:</span> <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=261029013">Raiders 20, Steelers 13</a><a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/recap?gameId=261029013">:</a> 25-of-37, 301 yards, 1 TD, 4 INT<br /><br />The Steelers have gone 2-4 in these games, while Roethlisberger has thrown 9 TDs against 14 INTs, while averaging 205 yards on 19-of-31 passing. Throw out these games, and, including the playoffs, Roethlisberger has a 26-6 record and an impressive TD (41) to INT (25) ratio. Fudge this data a little more to take into account the first three games following the accident/appendectomy combo (by far his worst injury), and the numbers swell to 26-4 with 41 TDs and just 20 INTs. In other words, Ben tends to suck when coming off of an injury, which is a shame because he tends to get hurt a lot. That said, the frequency of his injuries may also skew the data a little bit. Undoubtedly, some of these bad performances had as much to do with facing a good defense as they did with rustiness or soreness.<br /><br />(This is really the subject for another post, but...The same people calling for Batch are also the same people who call Roethlisberger nothing more than a good game manager who are the same people who go down on Bill Cowher for his record when leading at halftime. The biggest critique of Ben as game manager not game-breaker are his poor stats when he attempting over 25 passes. Although this is really a subject for another post, in many of his 28 wins as a starter, Roethlisberger has put up an electric first-half, giving the Steelers a sizable lead. Under Cowher's philosophy, he becomes little more than an assembly-line worker for the next 30 minutes, handing off the ball on every offensive play. While boring, this brand of football probably has something to do with the fact that Cowher has lost exactly two games during his career when leading at any time by more than ten points. Conservative? Probably. Effective? Absolutely. Evidence that Roethlisberger is a game manager, not a superstar? Absolutely not.)<br /><br />The essence of all of this is that Roethlisberger has to be the starting QB when the Steelers take the field against the Broncos this Sunday. Even if he matches his performance against the Raiders, he needs to be the starter the week after as well. Although, and I'm not really sure why I think this, I suppose there is a chance he might get hurt.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116217819817704505?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161797938608423802006-10-25T10:01:00.002-07:002007-10-15T20:28:27.468-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.nba.com/media/espanol/shaquille_254x308.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.nba.com/media/espanol/shaquille_254x308.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>For all we know, Dateline NBC reporter Chris Hansen may be short, scrawny and a mess on the basketball court. However, there is at least one area where the brains behind the show's "<a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6083442/">Online Predators</a>" segment has it all over perennial NBA All-Star and future hall-of-famer Shaquille O'Neal (besides free-throws that is).<br /><br />O'Neal, who aspires to be a police officer after he retires, spends his off-seasons helping out in the Bedford (Virginia) County Police Department. Earlier this fall it seems, Shaq was <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/basketball/nba/10/24/bc.bkn.shaq.botchedraid.ap/index.html">part of a botched raid</a> that intended to take out a child pornography ring. Although O'Neal has playfully denied the report, A.J. Nuckols, whose home was mistakenly ransacked by police, confirmed in a telephone interview that he heard the former MVP was in his home. In a published letter to the <span style="font-style: italic;">Chatham Star Tribune</span>, Nuckols, a Gretna, VA native also wrote:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"[The raid] scared me and my family beyond description. I was held at gunpoint and the home was ransacked by a paramilitary search-and-seizure team. Men ran at me, dropped into shooting position, double-handed semiautomatic pistols pointed at me, and made me put my hands against my truck."</span><br /><br />The sheriff's department denies Nuckols characterization of the incident, although they have not confirmed or discredit Shaq's presence. The department also blames the incident on an internet service provider, who gave them the wrong IP address of the suspected kiddy porn user.<br /><br />When Phil Jackson left the Lakers in 2004, O'Neal said he was the only coach he wanted to play for. If Shaq is smart, there is only <a href="http://www.cjrdaily.org/images/CarlMonday.jpg">one coach</a> he should want to help him get better at snuffing out child pornography rings.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116179793860842380?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161749082598850432006-10-24T21:04:00.000-07:002007-10-15T20:29:29.325-07:00<b>Stan Live with Elton John</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/Q5Ct4xKssLg"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/Q5Ct4xKssLg" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />I tend to vehemently disagree with people who think we've changed as a culture since 9/11. Then, I watch this video from the February 2001 Grammy Awards and I'm not so sure.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116174908259885043?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161633812056952472006-10-23T11:00:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:09:21.432-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.cs-cpa.org/public/Photos/golf05/golf28.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.cs-cpa.org/public/Photos/golf05/golf28.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />As I discussed earlier, we here at North O Forbes are <a href="http://www.blogger.com/post-edit.g?blogID=11449087&amp;postID=115929097520719120">big fans of ESPN's John Buccigross</a>. He's a local guy, his weekly NHL column is a must-read, and he's one of the better SportsCenter anchors around. That said, calling the action on SC, he does have one slightly annoying tendency. Every once and a while, when an athlete makes a particularly outstanding play, Buccigross feels the need to compare him or her to a musician in a chic band. For example, let's say David Ortiz hits a walk-off homer. Buccigross might announce the highlight as something like this: "And just as <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/James_R._Mercer">James Mercer</a> is to <a href="http://www.theshins.com/">The Shins</a>, so is David Ortiz to the Boston Red Sox." Yeah, it doesn't make much sense to me either.<br /><br />However, I don't think the music and sports analogies are a completely lost cause. In fact, were Buccigross ever to appear on one of those <a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0281438/">SportsCentury</a> features for ESPN Classic, here are ten comparisons he could effectively use:<br /><br />In no particular order...<br /><br />1) As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freddie_Mercury">Freddie Mercury</a> is to Queen, so is <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2005/US/01/17/cnn25.tan.johnson/">Magic Johnson</a> to the Los Angeles Lakers.<br /><br />2) As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_celebrity_cocaine_addicts">David Crosby</a> is to CSNY, so is <a href="http://www.alternet.org/story/238/">Darryl Strawberry</a> to the New York Mets.<br /><br />3) As <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/WolfFiles/story?id=94216&amp;page=1">Screamin' Jay Hawkins</a> is to Cow Fingers &amp; Mosquito Pie , so is <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/features/1998/weekly/980504/insidelook.html">Shawn Kemp</a> to the Seattle Supersonics .<br /><br />4) As <a href="http://www.snopes.com/music/hidden/eatpeach.asp">Duane Allman</a> is to the Allman Brothers, so is <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2480830">Ben Roethlisberger</a> to the Pittsburgh Steelers.<br /><br />5) As <a href="http://www.hotshotdigital.com/artist/jerry_garcia/tribute/">Jerry Garcia</a> is the Grateful Dead, so is <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/other_sports/us_sport/2061678.stm">Darryl Kile</a> to the St. Louis Cardinals.<br /><br />6) As <a href="http://www.wral.com/entertainment/9904690/detail.html">Clay Aiken</a> is to the American Idol Tour, so is <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/news/2002/05/21/mets_piazza_ap/">Mike Piazza</a> to the New York Mets.<br /><br />7) As <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Curtis_Mayfield">Curtis Mayfield</a> is to The Impressions, so is <a href="http://www.mikeutley.org/">Mike Utley</a> to the Detroit Lions.<br /><br />8) As <a href="http://www.geocities.com/sunsetstrip/frontrow/2547/vanzant.html">Ronnie Van Zandt</a> <span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span> is to Lynyrd Skynyrd, so is <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/10/11/plane.crash/">Cory Lidle</a> to the New York Yankees.<br /><br />9) As <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0401041kurt.html">Kurt Cobain</a> is to Nirvana, so is <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0927061owens1.html">Terrell Owens</a> to the Dallas Cowboys.<br /><br />10) As <a href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/onthisday/hi/dates/stories/december/8/newsid_2536000/2536321.stm">John Lennon</a> is to the Beatles, so is <a href="http://www.answers.com/topic/andr-s-escobar">Andres Escobar</a> to the Colombian National Soccer Team.<span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-style: italic;"></span></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116163381205695247?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161616705813309872006-10-23T07:58:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:10:20.498-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.egyptian.net/%7Emrch/treetopapplejuiceclip.jpe"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.egyptian.net/%7Emrch/treetopapplejuiceclip.jpe" alt="" border="0" /></a>As discussed yesterday, official North O Forbes QB Juice Williams and the Illinois Fighting Illini nearly pulled of the upset at Penn State Saturday, before eventually <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/10/21/34801_recap.html">falling 26-12</a>. Despite leading at halftime 9-3, and keeping his team within striking distance for most of the game, this was not one of Juice's better <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/10/21/34801_boxscore.html">performances</a>. Williams was 13-of-33 passing for 156 yards with no TDs and 2 costly INTs. Perhaps even more disheartening was the Juice's 5 yards rushing on 19 attempts. Regardless, he still led his offense to more points than his counterpart, Nittany Lions QB Anthony Morelli. All said, not terrible for a true freshman playing against a top defense on the road.<br /><br />Things don't get any easier for the 2-6 Illini, as next Saturday they travel to Wisconsin for a noon game against the Badgers.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116161670581330987?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161554600776254212006-10-22T14:40:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:13:20.600-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061023wap_fbn_rbergercartPJ_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061023wap_fbn_rbergercartPJ_450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well, that pretty much sucked. To use the parlance of our region, Pitt football screwed the pooch in its biggest game of the year, <a href="http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/ncf/boxscore?gameId=262940221&amp;confId=null">losing at home</a> to Rutgers Saturday night. Official North O Forbes quarterback <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/big-announcement.html">Juice Williams</a> and his Illinois Fighting Illini came <span style="font-style: italic;">this</span> close to pulling against the <a href="http://www.cpyu.org/files/Walt%20Blog/Joe%20Paterno.jpg">Nursing Home of State College tackle football team</a> (more on that tomorrow). Andy Van Slyke's quest to win a ring before Barry Bonds <a href="http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=261021106">took an unexpected sidetrack</a>. And then there's<a href="http://sports-att.espn.go.com/nfl/boxscore?gameId=261022001"> the Steelers</a>. If I'm going to make good on my early season <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/welcome-back-to-nfl.html">pledge </a>and enjoy my dinner this evening, then I'm just not ready to talk about the Steelers.<br /><br />Happy fucking Monday, everyone.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116155460077625421?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161140726895052612006-10-17T20:05:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:15:46.175-07:00<b>Ditka</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/s4qxZ-qnvKc"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/s4qxZ-qnvKc" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></embed></object><br />Before you call this juvenile, just bear with me. I know it's tempting to ignore the beginning of this clip. After all, it's just some dude filming his television with a video camera. Pretty lame.<br /><br />But I beg of you, listen closely to the guy's accent as he introduces the video. "Dis is Mike Ditka, faahrting," he says, sounding EXACTLY like George Wendt in the classic "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68x-HFAXV9M">Bill Swerski's Superfans</a>" skit from SNL. Also, if you look closely, you can tell it's a Tivo'd <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/NFL_Live">ESPN NFL Live</a> broadcast. The current date on the guy's digital cable is July 2, or almost 6 months after the end of the show's season.<br /><br />All I'm really saying is thanks to YouTube we know there's a guy who lives in Chicago, talks with this accent, and has kept a clip of Mike Ditka's flatulence on his television's hard drive for more than half a year.<br /><br />Okay, so maybe it's a little juvenile.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116114072689505261?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161103557785759072006-10-17T08:30:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:16:08.658-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.milenio.com/MediaCenter/Fotos/2006/Septiembre/7/ad13f3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.milenio.com/MediaCenter/Fotos/2006/Septiembre/7/ad13f3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />There was one clear upside to the postponement of last night's NLCS Game 5: an extra 24 hours to process Sunday night's pitching performance of one <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/earning-that-champagne-celebration.html">Oliver Perez</a>. Perez got the win in the Mets' 12-5 victory, but his overall line on the night was <a href="http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=261015124">underwhelming at best</a>. He pitched 5 and 2/3 innings, giving up five earned runs on nine hits while (three of them home runs), while striking out three and walking one. In total, Oli threw 92 pitches l (high for his inning count), with only 56 of them going for strikes. His ERA for the game was a horrific 7.94.<br /><br />Not surprisingly, these results are right on par with Perez's <a href="http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6945">regular season statistics</a>. Having watched this incarnation of Oli pitch up close and personal for a season and a half, I would say there's a pretty consistent pattern to how he operates. Out of every four starts, one of them will be excellent (like when he went toe-to-toe with Johan Santana in June), one of them will be horrific (<a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/welcome-to-party-mr-perez.html">the aforementioned rain delay game against San Diego</a>), and two of them will be middling (like the one Sunday night). The upshot of all of this? A 3-13 record and an ERA of 6.55.<br /><br />The particularly amusing thing about Sunday's game was the praise showered on Perez by the national media (ie ESPN) after the game. Sports Center anchor <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neil_Everett">Neil Everett</a> called Oli's display "gutty, " while Baseball Tonight analyst <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Phillips">Steve Phillips</a> was enamored with the fact that Perez kept his team in the game, and pitched well enough to win. He even tossed out the adjective "great." To buttress his argument, Phillips cited New York's <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/stats?playerId=3014">Steve Trachsel</a>, who the evening before <a href="http://sports-ak.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=261014124">gave up five earned runs</a> in just one inning pitched. The Mets lost that game 5-0.<br /><br />Just to be clear, New York's offense scored 12 runs during the time Perez was in the game. Middle of the order hitters <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6132">Carlos Beltran</a> and <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?playerId=3020">Carlos Delgado</a> went a combined five-for-seven with three home runs and seven RBIs. So what Steve Phillips is saying is that for a pitcher to be considered great, all he needs are two All-Stars hitters in his line-up performing at their peak level, and, to not to be Steve Trachsel. Tell me again, why exactly did the Mets <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steve_Phillips">fire </a>him as their general manager?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116110355778575907?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1161015345049454172006-10-16T08:49:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:17:47.502-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20030329/f3337_1272.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20030329/f3337_1272.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Despite the finest efforts of <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/big-announcement.html">official North O Forbes quarterback Juice Williams</a>, the Illinois fighting Illini <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/10/14/34772_recap.html">fell 20-17</a> to the University of Ohio Bobcats Saturday night. This marks the third consecutive Illini game that's come down to a last second field goal. Once again, <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/10/14/34772_boxscore.html">you can't hang this loss on Juice</a> as he completed 16 of 34 passes for 186 yards and two touchdowns, and also ran for 96 yards on 17 attempts. Next week, Williams and his teammates travel just four hours North O Forbes for a noon contest at Penn State.<br /><br />Does anyone else want to be in the room when Joe Paterno finds out the first name of his opponent's starting QB?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116101534504945417?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160893256786307232006-10-14T22:47:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:18:46.800-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.elnuevoheraldo.com/images/uploads/oliver.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.elnuevoheraldo.com/images/uploads/oliver.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>The New York Mets spent every day of the 2006 regular season in first place. They finished with a record of 97-65, tied for best in the league. They swept the Dodgers in the Division Series, and took Game 1 of the NLCS from St. Louis. However, the Cardinals have stormed back to take the last two games, including a 5-0 shutout yesterday evening. Facing a potentially devastating three games to one hole, and with their season essentially on the line, guess who the Mets are sending to the mound on Sunday night? Yup, it's <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/welcome-to-party-mr-perez.html">everyone's favorite WFTIPS flame-out Oliver Perez.<br /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />"It wasn't a long decision. We needed a fourth starter, and he pitched well for us this year," manager Willie Randolph <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06288/730208-63.stm">told the Associated Press</a>. "We like his stuff. It was down to either him or Dave Williams, and we felt like he was the guy that would give us a quality start.</span>"<br /><br />I don't know what stuns me more, the fact that Perez is starting tonight, or the fact that the other option was <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/w/willida07.shtml">Dave freaking Williams</a>. For those of you who are unaware, Williams is also a former Pirates product, whom management deemed expendable last off-season. The feeling was that the team had a "bevy" of more "talented" pitchers and therefore could afford to cut him loose. Despite the Buccos 67-95 record this year, it was still the right call.<br /><br />No matter what happens this evening, my life as a Pirates fan may never be the same.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116089325678630723?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160693927383563292006-10-12T15:46:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:19:57.500-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/richard_deitsch/10/06/sidney.writer/p1_crosby2.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/writers/richard_deitsch/10/06/sidney.writer/p1_crosby2.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Last fall was bad. I had just graduated from college with a <a href="http://americanculture.vassar.edu/">liberal arts degree in American Culture</a>. I was unemployed. I was single. I was living with my parents. The last thing I could afford to do was spend money to see a losing hockey team. Yet night after night, I found myself standing for an hour in the freezing cold of the student rush line, breath showing, fingers slowly going numb, ready to clunk down another $20 for a Penguins ticket.<o:p></o:p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>So why did I habitually blow my cash on the worst team in the NHL? Well, you know how when the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Power_Ball">Power Ball</a> Jackpot hits $100 million, there are suddenly all of these seemingly rational people who run over other customers at the gas stations in order to drop half of their paychecks on tickets? (If you don’t, you clearly need to watch more of your local news). Anyway, those people in line at the gas station…that was me with the Penguins last season.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Let me explain further. Most of the time, you were likely to see a stink bomb of a game at Mellon Arena.<span style=""> </span>My favorite example was a Pens-Rangers contest in early November, back when there was still a modicum of hope the team could turn the season around. A rocking sell-out crowd, booing every time Jaromir Jagr touched the puck, saw the Pens get outshot 41-21, beaten to every loose puck and take bad penalty after bad penalty. Final score: Rangers 6, Penguins 1, with a Jagr hat-trick, including two goals 15 seconds apart to boot.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Yet every once and a while, everything clicked. <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> scored that <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hLDKoF_08v8">magical shootout winner</a> against the Canadians, then badly outplayed rival Alexander Ovechkin in a Penguins vs. Capitals match-up a few weeks later. Twice the team exploded for six goals, thrashing future Hall-of-Famer Martin Brodeur, and the New Jersey Devils. Countless times they scored late goals to tie the score, only to lose in overtime. Those games were the winning Power Ball ticket, the golden sheet of paper inside the <a href="http://img.timeinc.net/instyle/images/v2/hf/071105_hfg_04.jpg">Willy Wonka Bar</a>, and the chance that you were holding a winner when you clunked down your $20 right before face off, well, that’s what kept me coming back game after game. The Penguins were a unique 58 point team, in that they were so young, but also so talented. <span style=""> </span>At least once a game, and sometime for a whole game they gave you a glimpse of what they might become.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>I was reminded of that feeling as we pulled into the Mellon Arena parking lot last Thursday night, opening night on the 2006-2007 Pittsburgh hockey season: Penguins vs. Flyers. This year, Karasic, Zavo and I had a special guest in our midst: Karasic’s girlfriend Meghann. I know, I know…I’m impressed to, a girl that wanted to come with us to a hockey game. It’s even more remarkable considering she witnessed my Defcon-4 meltdown following Bettis’s fumble in the AFC Divisional Playoffs. Not my proudest moment.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Anyway, here’s what I’ll remember about this year’s game…<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…A feeling of optimism as you entered the arena. You gotta love opening day. Even for a team coming off five straight losing seasons and with modest expectations, there were posters, jerseys, caps and tee-shirts wherever you looked. Hell, even a guy over fifty (who may or may not have been Karasic’s dad) was willing to get the Penguins logo painted on his cheek. Now, that’s commitment.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…Section D26. We were fortunate enough to be seated in front of a group of yinzers who had obviously been tailgating since breakfast. They made it a point to call out the one Flyers fan in our section, and also lead everyone in a raucous chorus of “D-26…D-26…D-26.” It was much better in person, but you get the idea. Also, a special shout-out to the guy behind me. When an Asian fan in black and gold body paint was shown dancing on the jumbotron, he yelled “Where have you gone, <a href="http://www.hockeyautographexchange.com/cards/jimpaek.jpg">Jim Paek</a>?!” Hey, I said they were funny, not PC.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>… Michelle Ouellet’s goal. Opening minutes of the game, Pens looking like garbage, Philly completely controlling the tempo of the game…and suddenly there’s a loose puck in front of the Flyers net…and Michelle Ouellet is pouncing on it…and he’s wristing one towards the goal…and THE RED LIGHT IS FLASHING…1-0 PENGUINS! Up until that point, the game looked like so many disasters from last season. Ouellett’s score got the curbed the Flyers momentum and got the crowd back into the contest.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…Ten freaking penalties.<span style=""> </span>While perhaps one or two of the Penguins slip-ups were questionable calls, it’s hard to argue the legitimacy of most of them. What’s particularly frustrating is many of them are the result of the same syndrome: poor defensive positioning. Even with an upgrade in personnel, the Pens still get beaten into their own zone, and as a result, have to hook and hold to catch up. They were fortunate it didn’t come back to haunt them in this game though, because of…<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…The penalty-killing. Sweet Jesus, what an improvement in this area, even if it’s only one game. Give new GM Ray Shero a big hand for improving this area in the off-season. New players like Jarko Ruutu and Dominic Moore earned their pay-checks by never letting Philly gain any momentum on the power play. Ruutu was particularly adept at blocking shots, something that’s a premium on the PK in the new NHL (see Sabres, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Buffalo</st1:place></st1:city>). Meanwhile, <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Moore</st1:place></st1:city> won a ton of face-offs, both short-handed and at even strength. Have the Penguins had a reliable face-off guy since Ron Francis? Seriously, have they?<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…In-game entertainment. Live actual penguins before the game; Scott Blasey of “The Clarks” signing the National Anthem; an arena-wide karaoke sing-along to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing (where 16, 957 voices cracked trying to hit the high-note on “born and raised in South Detroit). Talk about a team that knows what gets their fan-base fired up.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…How much I hate the Flyers. Trailing 4-0 in the second period, Philly realized it wasn’t going to be their night. So what do they do? They start making runs at the Penguins. The Nolan Baumgartner skirmish wasn’t so bad, particularly because Colby “Strongarms” kicked his ass. More offensive was Petr Forsberg coming after Sidney Crosby after the whistle had blown. You think Forsberg was just jealous because he can no longer score goals as pretty as the one Sid the Kid ripped by Esche a few minutes earlier? Yeah, I do too.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…That there are no adjectives left to describe Sidney Crosby. He’s bigger, quicker and stronger on the puck this season. Add to that the fact that he’s already scoring goals on reputation. Early in the second period, <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> broke down the left side with the puck. Fearing a dazzling cross ice pass, Esche froze in the center of the goal, giving Sid just enough space to laser a shot into the corner of the net. That’s respect that gave <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> the hole to shoot on. That’s pure talent that he buried it.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…The dawn of a new Penguins saying. <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=XGvALytUaU8">Poor John Leclair</a>; he actually had a pretty fair game against his old club. However, every time he touched the puck in the offensive zone, and later anywhere on the ice, either Karasic or I would quip, “Malkin probably buries that.”<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>…The fans in the third period. Really, the sell-out crowd was in top form for the whole game, but the last 20 minutes took it to a new level. The environment was like the student section of a college football game, with lots of “Let’s go Pens!” and “Go home Flyers!” chants which shook the rafters of the 45 year-old Mellon Arena. I even ripped off the Oakland Zoo and got the about 15 people near me to serenade the Flyers with “This is practice,” in the game’s closing minutes. Imaginative? No, not particularly; but it’s more people than have ever gone along with one of my cheers before, so let me have my moment in the sun. And finally, I’ll remember…</p><p class="MsoNormal">…Marc-Andre Fleury. More than any young prospect on this Penguins team, Fleury is most representative of the roster as a whole. <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> is an institution at 18. Guys like Ryan Whitney and Armstrong have the potential to be great, but won’t break the franchise if they don’t develop. Fleury’s career epitomizes that Power Ball, Golden Ticket phenomenon. He’s brilliant one minute, horrific the next, but always with enough potential to keep you coming back; and for the 60 minutes when he puts it all together…watch out. After a weak start to training camp, there was talk about Fleury splitting time with Jocelyn Thibault, or worse starting the season in the minors. Here’s hoping the 40 save shut-out performance on opening night is him taking the starting job by the throat and never looking back. I’m sure there are 16, 957 people that will never question why the Penguins took him first overall ever again.<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Well, what can I say except <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/opening-night.html">I’m hooked again</a>. I have a part-time job this fall, but now there’s a lease and all the subsequent expense that go with an apartment. So if you see me at Mellon Arena this fall, ready to blow money I don’t have on tickets to a Penguins game, don’t even try to stop me. Trust me, it’s not worth it. And in case the fact that this column has spiraled to over 1,500 words didn’t give it away, I am, in fact, still single.</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116069392738356329?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160600995562075732006-10-11T13:38:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:21:21.823-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.davestravelcorner.com/tsunami/Tsunami-7-11-Phuket.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.davestravelcorner.com/tsunami/Tsunami-7-11-Phuket.JPG" alt="" border="0" /></a>I used to be violently opposed to the ever-growing orgy between corporate sponsorship and the sports world. However, in the last couple years, my position has softened. Perhaps it's because I realized the force pulling the two together is unbreakable, kind of like whatever it was that held <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Excalibur">Excalibur</a> into that giant slab of rock. I'm sure in a few years my favorite teams will have replaced the logos on the front of their jersey's with ads for Wonderbread. At this point though, I'm okay with it. Really.<br /><br />So it is not with poisinous disgust, but rather light amusement that I regard <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/baseball/mlb/10/11/bc.bba.whitesox.7.eleve.ap/index.html">this story from Chicago</a>. It seems the White Sox are bumping up the start of their home games by four minutes, to 7:11 p.m. as part of a three-year deal with the convenience store of the same name. Although financial figure were not disclosed, a White Sox spokesmen said he expects the team to re-invest the revenue into the team's payroll or to make improvements on the ballpark.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"Every time the media announces the game's start time it will be a gentle reminder of our sponsorship," Margaret Chabris, a 7-11 spokeswoman said.</span><br /><br />Four minutes seems like a small price to pay for a nice influx of cash. Hell, I'd allow my <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/08/ramblings-on-carson-palmer.html">WFTIPS Pirates</a> to call the starting time for their home games "Uni-Mart" if it meant they could actually afford a left-handed, power-hitting <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/baseball/mlb/players/6788/">first baseman</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116060099556207573?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160500504778211152006-10-10T08:05:00.000-07:002007-10-23T18:22:58.789-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://taintpuncher.com/totw/052206/carlweb.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://taintpuncher.com/totw/052206/carlweb.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>With <a href="http://www.comedycentral.com/shows/the_daily_show/index.jhtml">The Daily Show's</a> recent valentine to everyone's favorite investigative reporter, Carl Monday, I thought it was only appropriate at this time to post an updated links section on the "incident."<br /><br />In case you haven't seen the original clip, well, first of all where the hell have you been, and second of all it can be found <a href="http://www.deadspin.com/sports/youtube/the-most-brilliant-thing-youll-see-all-day-176349.php">here</a>. As always, huge props to Will Leitch and Deadspin for uncovering this. There was also a <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=V-2g23WJzQM">follow-up report</a> on the Cleveland TV station after Mike Cooper was arrested and arraigned for public indecency.<br /><br />Two weeks ago, The Daily Show's Jason Jones filed <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=941STralZGI&amp;mode=related&amp;search=">this story</a>, taking a closer look at what it means to be the man in the trench coat. In some ways, the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=6LaooZhWLB4&amp;mode=related&amp;search=">nearly ten minutes of unused footage </a>is even better than what actually made it onto the air.<br /><br />This spurred some creepy old bald dude to <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=t28gPL-1sC4&amp;mode=related&amp;search=">record his thoughts</a> on the whole matter from his basement, and then upload the video onto YouTube. Definitely check out the comments section if you follow the link. The guy also has a <a href="http://showmeblog.com/">blog </a>that's pretty lame.<br /><br />Although, in fairness, any blog would appear lame when you <a href="http://www.wkyc.com/weblog/carlmonday/">compare it to Carl Monday's</a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116050050477821115?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160445529171026752006-10-09T18:58:00.000-07:002006-10-11T08:01:15.023-07:00<b>Solla Solla Enna Perumai</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/S48w8pMLrLk"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/S48w8pMLrLk" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />For this week's feature, a simple math equation: Bollywood + <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0086250/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Scarface</span></a>+ <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0076666/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Saturday Night Fever</span></a> = five minutes and fourteen seconds of pure viewing pleasure.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116044552917102675?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160404865428954802006-10-09T07:22:00.000-07:002006-10-10T19:49:07.053-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.mesothelioma-aid.org/images/orangejuice.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.mesothelioma-aid.org/images/orangejuice.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>What a <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/boxscores/2006/10/07/34800_boxscore.html">disappointing end</a> for the University of Illinois Fighting Illini and <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/10/big-announcement.html">official North O Forbes quarterback</a> Juice Williams this Saturday. On the strength of two Juice touchdown passes, Illinois jumped out to a 25-7 second-quarter lead on Indiana. However, the Hoosiers proceeded to rattle off 24 consecutive points, and eventually <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/ncaa/recaps/2006/10/07/34800_recap.html">took the game</a>, 34-32, on a field goal as time expired. Juice's final line: 10-21 for 190 yards, two touchdowns and zero interceptions, with an additional 53 rushing yards on 10 carries. Next Saturday, Mr. Williams and his boys host the University of Ohio Bobcats. Game time is 7 p.m.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116040486542895480?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1160114166738851112006-10-05T22:30:00.000-07:002006-10-06T08:51:23.176-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061006pd_penguins1005e_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20061006pd_penguins1005e_450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06279/727889-61.stm">Penguins 4, Flyers 0</a>. Totally fucking speechlees. I'm not sure that words can describe what it feels like to watch your team get outshot 40-21, yet still pulverize its biggest rival on opening night. I'll try and come up with something more articulate and meaningful to say in the next couple days. Really, I don't have the energy left right now to process what I just saw. Sidney Crosby is a once in a generation talent and the rightful heir to Lemieux's spot as franchise player. Marc-Andre Fleury resembled Patrick Roy during the 1986 Stanley Cup Finals. The Ruutu-Moore-Ouellet played like a house on fire. Colby Armstrong beat the ever-living piss out of some random Flyer, and it doesn't even matter that I don't know who it was. The jackass deserved it just for putting on that ugly orange and black <a href="http://www.mygamegear.com/ProductImages/nhl-jerseys/philadelphia-home.jpg">jersey</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-116011416673885111?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159974240250174672006-10-04T06:59:00.000-07:002006-10-04T10:38:29.193-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.infoniagara.com/images/golfing.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.infoniagara.com/images/golfing.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>When we began this whole <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/coming-attractions-penguins-season.html">endeavor </a>last month, we weren't exactly sure where it was going to take us. With the start of the NHL season a little over six hours away, and the Penguins season a little over thirty hours away, we think this is a good moment to pause and reflect on what we created. We're proud to say we stayed away from the textbook analysis for which we have such disdain, however, we're also not sure that what we came out with was exactly a "preview." Instead, we produced a series of posts that's more likely to get Penguins fans fired up for the upcoming season, rather than informing them of what they migh actually see on the ice. We're okay with that. More than okay with that actually. We'd rather stir you passions, and leave the nitty gritty to the people who actually have media credentials, a worthwhile rolodex and a paycheck to show for their efforts. Efforts we reserve the right to mock when they say something stupid, by the way.<br /><br />That said, there are plenty of people who are very good at this part of the job, so on this last day of the pre-season, we thought we'd off you loyal readers (all five or six of you) a sampling of what the professional hockey experts are saying about the impending season. After all, it's a big league out there, Penguins fans.<br /><br />EASTERN CONFERENCE:<br /><br />ATLANTIC DIVISION:<br />New Jersey Devils: <a href="http://www.nj.com/devils/">Newark Star-Ledger</a><br /><a href="http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/sports/hockey/"></a>New York Rangers: <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/pages/sports/hockey/index.html">New York Times</a><br />New York Islanders: <a href="http://www.newsday.com/sports/hockey/islanders/">Newsday</a><br />Philadelphia Flyers: <a href="http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/sports/hockey/">Philadelphia Inquirer</a><br />Pittsburgh Penguins: <a href="http://postgazette.com/penguins/">Pittsburgh Post-Gazette</a>, <a href="http://www.pittsburghlive.com/x/pittsburghtrib/sports/penguins/">Pittsburgh Tribune-Review</a><br /><br />NORTHEAST DIVISION:<br />Boston Bruins: <a href="http://www.boston.com/sports/hockey/bruins/">Boston Globe</a><br />Buffalo Sabres: <a href="http://www.buffalonews.com/sports/teamsleagues/sabres.asp">Buffalo News</a><br />Montreal Canadiens: <a href="http://www.canada.com/topics/sports/hockey/canadiens.html">Montreal Gazette</a><br />Ottawa Senators: <a href="http://www.canada.com/topics/sports/hockey/senators.html">Ottawa Citizen</a><br />Toronto Maple Leafs: <a href="http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs/ContentServer?pagename=thestar/Render&c=Page&amp;cid=1044442959412">Toronto Star</a><br /><br />SOUTHEAST DIVISION:<br />Atlanta Thrashers: <a href="http://www.ajc.com/thrashers/content/sports/thrashers/index.html">Atlanta Journal-Constititution</a> (Free Registration Required)<br />Carolina Hurricanes: <a href="http://www.charlotte.com/mld/charlotte/sports/hockey/">Charlotte Observer</a><br />Florida Panthers: <a href="http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/sports/hockey/">Miami Herald</a><br />Tampa Bay Lightning: <a href="http://www.tbo.com/sports/lightning/">Tampa Tribune</a><br />Washington Capitals: <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/sports/capitals/index.html">Washington Post</a><br /><br />WESTERN CONFERENCE:<br /><br />CENTRAL DIVISION:<br />Chicago Blackhawks: <a href="http://www.suntimes.com/sports/hockey/blackhawks/index.html">Chicago Sun-Times</a><br />Columbus Blue Jackets: <a href="http://www.dispatch.com/bluejackets/bluejackets.php">Columbus Dispatch</a><br />Detroit Red Wings: <a href="http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=SPORTS05">Detroit Free Press</a><br />Nashville Predators: <a href="http://www.tennessean.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?Category=SPORTS02">Nashville Tennessean</a><br />St. Louis Blues: <a href="http://www.stltoday.com/sports/blues/">St. Louis Post Dispatch</a><br /><br />NORTHWEST DIVISION:<br />Calgary Flames: <a href="http://www.canada.com/topics/sports/hockey/flames.html">Calgary Herald</a><br />Colorado Avalanche: <a href="http://www.denverpost.com/avalanche">Denver Post</a>, <a href="http://www.rockymountainnews.com/drmn/nhl/">Rocky Mountain News</a><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><br />Edmonton Oilers: <a href="http://www.canada.com/topics/sports/hockey/oilers.html">Edmonton Journal</a><br />Minnesota Wild: <a href="http://www.startribune.com/wild">Minneapolis Star Tribune</a><br />Vancouver Canucks: <a href="http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/sports/index.html">Vancouver Sun</a><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><a href="http://www.startribune.com/wild"></a><br /><br />PACIFIC DIVISION:<br />Anaheim Ducks: <a href="http://www.ocregister.com/ocregister/sections/sports/pros/ducks/">Orange County Register</a><br />Dallas Stars: <a href="http://www.dallasnews.com/sports/hockey/?nl">Dallas Morning News</a><br />Los Angeles Kings: <a href="http://www.latimes.com/sports/hockey/nhl/kings/">Los Angeles Times</a>, <a href="http://www.dailynews.com/Kings">Los Angeles Daily News</a><br />Phoenix Coyotes: <a href="http://www.azcentral.com/sports/coyotes/">Arizona Republic News</a><br />San Jose Sharks: <a href="http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/sports/hockey/nhl/san_jose_sharks/">San Jose Mercury News</a><br /><br />NATIONAL SITES:<br /><br />Canada.com has a <a href="http://www.canada.com/topics/sports/hockey/index.html">big overview</a>.<br /><br />ESPN's Terry Frei <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=frei_terry&id=2605977">offers </a>his predictions for the season, and the whole rest of the carcass of what was once the NHL Tonight Crew <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/preview2006/news/story?id=2607868">offer theirs</a>.<br /><br />NHL.com's Phil Coffey <a href="http://www.nhl.com/nhl/app?service=page&amp;page=NewsPage&articleid=280385">looks</a> at this year's rookie class while Shawne P. Roarke <a href="http://www.nhl.com/nhl/app?service=page&amp;page=NewsPage&amp;articleid=280388">checks up</a> on last year's crop.<br /><br />SI.com's Alan Muir has <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/allan_muir/10/03/fearless.predictions/index.html">17 bold predictions</a>, and Scott Wraight provides the season's <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/writers/scott_wraight/09/28/power.rankings1/index.html">first power rankings</a>. The magazine also has predicted finishes for the <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/hockey/nhl/specials/preview/2006/09/26/preview.rankings.eastern/index.html">East </a>and <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/hockey/nhl/specials/preview/2006/09/26/rankings.western.preview/index.html">West</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://offwing.com/">Offwing Opinion</a> just has better links than us.<br /><br />Fox Sports has its own set of <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/powerRankings">power rankings</a> and a <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/story/6022958">list</a> of the best remaining free agents and a list of <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/story/6026338">previews</a> for each team.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=3076">Hockeybuzz</a> has a good series of articles, including Eklund's <a href="http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog.php?post_id=3076">forum</a> on opening day traditions.<br /><br />CBS Sportline's Wes Goldstein <a href="http://cbs.sportsline.com/nhl/story/9703355">thinks</a> <a href="http://cbs.sportsline.com/nhl/story/9703355"></a>this year will be even better than the the last, and even has his own <a href="http://cbs.sportsline.com/nhl/story/9700561">power rankings</a>.<br /><br />The Versus Network gives us a <a href="http://www.versus.tv/nw/article/view/1367/?tf=NHLArticleWrapper.tpl">schedule </a>of all its nationally broadcast games.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.tsn.ca/nhl/">TSN </a>is all over the start of the season.<br /><br />Finally, what's with the collective <a href="http://msn.foxsports.com/nhl/story/6026084">fuss</a> about the <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/preview2006/columns/story?id=2607710">Phoenix Coyotes</a>?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115997424025017467?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159888843838636972006-10-03T08:14:00.000-07:002006-10-11T08:04:40.050-07:00<table xmlns="http://purl.org/atom/ns#" border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td colspan="2"><embed id="VideoPlayback" src="http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docId=7087099771269561926&hl=en" style="width: 400px; height: 326px;" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"> </td></tr><tr></tr><tr><td>Artie and Trots<br /> </td></tr></tbody></table><br />Normally, we here at North O Forbes are die-hard YouTube devotees. Well, after hours of clicking the back arrow, refreshing pages, and re-registering accounts we decided that it just wasn't going to happen this week, and made a tough call to post a video from a competitor. And let me tell you, this isn't just any ordinary video. In fact, we are of the belief that YouTube, Google Video, Gorilla Mask, and all other competing internet viral sites may in fact have been invented just so Penguins fans could watch this clip on repeat.<br /><br />For those of you who aren't Penguins fans...well, here's a little game you can play while watching. There are two former Pens players featured here: Bryan Trottier and Kevin Stevens. Try and figure out which one sounds like a member of <a href="http://img.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/040714/163543__damon4_l.jpg">Will Hunting's posse</a>, and which one sounds like the long lost McKenzie brother from <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0086373/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Strange Brew</span></a>. And if you aren't a Penguins fan, and don't get those pop-culture references well...there's nothing else we can do for you.<br /><br />NOTE: This clip definitely isn't suitable for work (NSFW). Unless you have ear phones or a very understanding boss, don't make the same mistake we did.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115988884383863697?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159770495923323792006-10-01T21:42:00.000-07:002006-10-02T09:01:45.846-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.pantagraph.com/content/articles/2006/09/24/sports/doc4515a72b893aa850979908.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.pantagraph.com/content/articles/2006/09/24/sports/doc4515a72b893aa850979908.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I don't really count myself as a huge college football fan. Maybe it's the fact that there's no playoff system, and therefore an inconclusive national champion. It might also have something to do with the fact that I went to a Division III liberal arts college that until 1968 only admitted women, doesn't have a football team and counts club women's rugby as its most successful sport. So yeah, kinda missed out on the whole game-day tailgating experience.<br /><br />Anyway, it's a rare Saturday when I park myself on the couch for hours to toggle back and forth between the days best college football offerings. Even rarer still is the Saturday night when I sit down to watch the highlights of that day's action. Well, for whatever reason, last night happened to be one of those nights and it may have changed the way I view the game for the foreseeable future.<br /><br />Chief among yesterday's biggest games was the University of Illinois 23-20 upset of Michigan State. And leading the way for the Fighting Illini was a freshman quarterback by the name of <a href="http://fightingillini.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/williams_juice00.html">Juice Williams</a>. Yes, that's right. His name is Juice Williams.<br /><br />I apologize that this somehow managed to slip my attention for the first four weeks of the season, but I promise you I'm rectifying the situation right here. Beginning at 12:37 AM this morning, Juice Williams is now the official quarterback of North O Forbes. As for what this means...well, I'm not exactly sure. I know there will be weekly updates of his performance and a free blog tee-shirt coming his way if we ever have the market or the capital to make them (stop snickering). Other than that, I'm willing to be spontaneous.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115977049592332379?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159479138906927232006-09-28T12:52:00.000-07:002006-10-03T20:12:17.473-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.kazlaaz.com/goalies/art/ARThedberg01.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.kazlaaz.com/goalies/art/ARThedberg01.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />For those of you not familiar with the Penguins recent history, or for those of you that follow the team and have smartly blocked out the last five years, here's what you're missing:<br /><b style=""><span style=""><br />May 22, 2001:</span></b><span style=""> </span>The New Jersey Devils defeat the Penguins 4-2, winning the Eastern Conference Championship four games to one. The Pens are essentially dominated in the series by a deeper more disciplined <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">New Jersey</st1:place></st1:state> squad. For weeks after the loss, Mario Lemieux obsesses to the press about the Penguins adopting a “system” a la the Devils. I picture him like Leonardo DiCaprio at the end of The Aviator, kicking around his house after the playoff loss, unshaven, permanently in a bathrobe, muttering to himself the whole time “system…way of the future…system…way of the future.” This phase passes quickly. <p><b style=""><span style="">July 11, 2001:</span></b> The Penguins trade <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=2497">Jaromir Jagr</a> and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=2844">Frantisek Kucera</a> to the Capitals for <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=29125">Kris Beech</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=00029177">Ross Lupaschuk</a> and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=47635">Michal Sivek</a>. With Jagr’s huge contract and goofy behavior (he told the Post-Gazette he felt like he was “dying alive on the ice”), everyone suspected this deal was coming. The bigger shock was that Jagr ended up on the Capitals not the Rangers as was commonly rumored. In exchange, the Pens received <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Washington</st1:place></st1:state>’s top three prospects, all of whom failed to develop. Beech scored bigger off the ice by nailing smoking hot KDKA news anchor <a href="http://kdka.com/bios/local_bio_118165911.html">Sonni Abatta</a>, every yinzer’s wet dream. Lupaschuk fulfilled the qualification that every package dealt for a superstar has to include one player with an unpronounceable/impossible to spell last name.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">October 15, 2001:</span></b> After losing the first four games of the season, the team fires head coach <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ivan_Hlinka">Ivan Hlinka</a>. Hlinka, the former Czech national team coach, never managed to fully grasp the NHL game or the English language during his season and a half in the league. Fans of the team can no longer look forward to his post-game press-conferences where he answered every question with heavily-accented “UHHHHHHHHHHHH…I dunt knah.” Hlinka is replaced by assistant coach <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rick_Kehoe">Rick “Chico” Kehoe</a>.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">October 28, 2001:</span></b> Center <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=5221">Martin Straka</a> is carried off the ice after catching his skate in a rut on the ice. The leg is broken, and requires the insertion of a titanium rod in order to be repaired. Straka’s injury is the first major blow to a team that will see its five leading scorers from the previous season miss at least 15 games.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">January 2002:</span></b> After a lengthy absence due to lingering hip injury, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=3105">Mario Lemieux</a> returns to the action against the Blues. My friends and I scalp tickets in the Kmart Kids Section (think age 12 and under) to witness what is sure to be Mario magic. The karmic payback is a bitch, as Lemieux goes scoreless and <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">St. Louis</st1:place></st1:city> whips the Penguins 4-1. Shortly after this game, Mario takes time off to rest his hip and prepare for the Salt Lake Olympics. After leading <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Canada</st1:place></st1:country-region> to the gold medal, lingering pain forces him to shut down for the season.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">February 2002:</span></b> Straka’s return from his broken leg is cut short when a high-stick breaks his orbital bone in the first period. He is out for the remainder of the season.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">March 2002:</span></b> With any hope of the playoffs all but gone, the Penguins begin re-building by trading defenseman <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=2652">Darius Kasparaitis</a> to the Avalanche for winger <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=30378">Ville Nieminen</a>. Nieminen is naturally mediocre in his short stint with the Pens, and then injures himself in the off-season by walking through a glass door on his way to a sauna. The accident requires several stitches and while Nieminen does not miss significant time, the “rugged” player never checks a Penguins opponent as hard as he did that door.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">April 2002:</span></b> <st1:city st="on">Boston</st1:city> beats <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city> 7-1, giving the Penguins a final record of <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/leagues/seasons/nhl19272002.html">28-41-8-5</a> and 69 points. It is the first time the team has missed the playoffs since the 1989-90 season.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">June 2002:</span></b> After losing six of seven playoff series to the Penguins in the previous decade, the Capitals continue their motto of “if you can’t beat ‘em, sign all of their best players to over-priced contracts.” <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Washington</st1:place></st1:state> signs Penguins center <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=2942">Robert Lang</a> to a multi-year contract in hopes of helping him kick-start Jagr, who finished ‘01-02 with a disappointing 79 points. Despite both of these additions, the Capitals still can’t make it out of the <a href="http://hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/playoffdisplay.php3?league=NHL1927&season=2003&amp;leaguenm=NHL">first round</a> of the playoffs.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">July 2002: </span></b>Most likely favoring either his broken tibia or fractured orbital bone, Martin Straka cracks vertebrae in a weight-lifting accident. The skilled-center misses training camp and the start of the regular season. The Elias Sport Bureau confirms that Straka’s three injuries in two games played is, in fact, a new NHL record. </p> <p><b style=""><span style="">October/November 2002: </span></b>As with the start of every season, Penguins fans are optimistic with news that Mario Lemieux is in the best shape of his life and the NHL is finally cracking down on obstruction. For the first 20 or so games, both of these actually appear true, as the Penguins storm out to an 11-5-3-3 record. The Lemieux/<a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=2803">Alexei Kovalev</a>/<a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=19335">Aleksey Morozov</a> led power-play clicks at something like 99.7%, and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=19097">Johan Hedberg</a> steadies the goaltending situation, displaying his 2001 playoff form.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">November/December 2002: </span></b>No K-Mart seats this time, but again my buddies’ presence dooms the Penguins. Sitting in $60 seats, Matt, Zavo and I watch them drop a 3-2 Thanksgiving-weekend contest to the Bruins. The loss not only snaps a four-game winning streak but is also the first of eight straight losses. In reality, looser officiating and a lack of defensive depth doom the team, but that doesn’t stop Matt from <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=92D15qtI_Gk&mode=related&amp;search=">sounding like Will Hunting</a> after the streak hits six. “Its okay, Matt. Say it with me now…it’s not your fault. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault.”</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">February 6, 2003:</span></b> Out of frustration over his team’s lackluster play, and his perceived disintegration of officiating Mario Lemieux <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/recap?gameId=230206016">goes berserk</a> on <st1:place st="on"><st1:state st="on">Florida</st1:state></st1:place>’s Brad Ference. We’re talking De Niro at the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=0JSN4nhsr2A&mode=related&amp;search=">end of <i>Taxi Driver</i></a> here. Lemieux gets a game misconduct, 30 minutes of penalties and unexpected statistical boon to any of his fantasy hockey owners.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">February 10, 2003: </span></b>Middling around the .500 mark, the Penguins trade All-Star winger Alexei Kovalev to the New York Rangers for <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=24144">Rico Fata</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=37626">Mikael Samuelsson</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=496">Joel Bouchard</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=26790">Richard Lintner</a>, <a href="http://www.mcdonaldsnymetro.com/assets/images/Ronald_McDonald_Photo.gif">Ronald McDonald</a>, <a href="http://www.otrnow.com/store/dvd/Alpha/FuManchu_TV_01.jpg">Fu Manchu</a> and a <a href="http://graphics.samsclub.com/images/products/0005200020801_LG.jpg">24 pack of Gatorade</a>. This was the moment fans had the “damn, we’re in for a long rebuilding process.” realization. Kovalev was a fan favorite, always an elite talent who finally blossomed in <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. With the Jagr trade in July 2001 it was thought the team might have enough money to re-sign him when his contract expired later that summer. But with no progress on a new arena and the team clearly not a Stanley Cup contender, the Penguins decide to bite the bullet and trade him. </p> <p><b><span style="">March 2003: </span></b>At the trade deadline, General Manager <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craig_Patrick">Craig Patrick</a> makes something like 800 deals, gutting what was already a carcass of the team that made the 2001 Eastern Conference finals. Among the departed are center <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=22894">Jan Hrdina</a> and goaltender Johan Hedberg. Patrick makes the event even more surreal by proclaiming “say what you will about salary dumps, but I think these moves make us stronger for the stretch run.” Matt and I immediately change the rosters in NHL 2002 to mimic reality and are encouraged when the virtual Penguins run off eleven straight wins as newly-acquired <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=2347">Brian Holzinger</a> begins to challenge for the Art Ross Trophy. When reality does not follow suit, we soon realize that Holzinger’s 85 rating is probably an egregious coding error. </p> <p><b style=""><span style="">April 2003:</span></b> <st1:state st="on">Washington</st1:state> defeats the <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city> 5-3, giving the Penguins a final record of <a href="http://hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/leagues/seasons/nhl19272003.html">27-44-6-5</a>, good for 63 points. The Pens go 2-17-2 in their last 21 games, easily dropping them into the Atlantic Division cellar. Head coach Rick Kehoe is fired a few days later.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">June 11, 2003:</span></b> The Penguins hire color commentator <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ed_Olczyk">Ed Olczyk</a> as head-coach. Olczyk, a former player with no previous coaching experience beats out Pirates broadcaster <a href="http://pittsburgh.pirates.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/broadcasters.jsp?c_id=pit#bob_walk">Bob Walk</a> and Steelers sideline reporter <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/04267/383876.stm">Craig Wolfley</a> for the position.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">June 21, 2003:</span></b> In a bold move, the Penguins acquire the first-overall pick in the NHL and use it to select goaltender <a href="http://pittsburghpenguins.com/team/bio.php?id=106">Marc-Andre Fleury</a>. Seconds after being chosen, Fleury confirms that he is indeed part French, by smooching his girlfriend hard on the lips, then sharing an uncomfortably intimate moment with a male member of his entourage.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">October 2003: </span></b>Fleury starts the home-opener in net, making 45 saves and drawing a standing ovation as the Penguins drop a 3-0 decision to the Los Angeles Kings. Sadly, this represents one of top five moments of the season.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">November/December 2003: </span></b>Firmly in re-building mode, the Pens, led by a group of veteran cast-offs and unheralded rookies struggle through the first part of the season, heading into the New Year with a league-low 25 points. Throughout <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:city></st1:place>, fans begin hoping the trend continues so the team can secure the first overall pick in the entry draft and with it highly-touted prospect <a href="http://www.nhl.com/players/8471214.html">Alexander Ovechkin</a>.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">January/February 2004: </span></b>The Penguins seemingly pull away from the field in the quest for the Ovechkin Cup. Fleury is optioned to the minors so the Penguins can avoid paying him his full salary; the rest of the team respond by losing 18 in a row and 22 of 24. The losing streak sets a franchise record for futility.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">March/April 2004:</span></b> In a perfect end to the season, the Pens finish on a 9-3-1 tear, yet still finish <a href="http://hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/leagues/seasons/nhl19272004.html">23-47-8-3</a>, good for 57 points and the worst record in the NHL.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">April 2004:</span> </b>Despite having the greatest odds of winning the draft lottery, the Penguins lose out on the top pick, and Alexander Ovechkin, to the Washington Capitals. Even though he’s now with the Rangers, I blame Jaromir Jagr. <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city> fans take solace in getting the second-overall pick, and highly regarded prospect <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=NotgArHkM-8&mode=related&amp;search=">Evgeni Malkin</a>, as well as the knowledge that their team will knock Ovechkin out of the playoffs in the first-round at least 14 times in the next 20 years.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">August 2004: </span></b>Ivan Hlinka <a href="http://www.internationalhockeygang.org/forum/archive/index.php/t-128.html">dies tragically</a> in a car accident near <st1:place st="on"><st1:city st="on">Karlov Vary</st1:city>, <st1:country-region st="on">Czech Republic</st1:country-region></st1:place>. The accident is almost a year to the day after former Penguins head-coach Herb Brooks is <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/hockey/news/2003/08/11/brooks_obit_ap/">killed in auto accident</a> near his home in <st1:state st="on"><st1:place st="on">Minnesota</st1:place></st1:state>. Geico rejects Rick Kehoe's application for insurance.<br /></p> <p><b style=""><span style="">Fall 2004:</span></b> With the players union and owners unable to reach a new Collective Bargaining Agreement, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman cancels the season. Five people, all of whom live in the southern <st1:place st="on"><st1:country-region st="on">United States</st1:country-region></st1:place>, are surprised. </p> <p><b style=""><span style="">July 21, 2005: </span></b>After months of on and off negotiations, the NHL players and owners finally reach a labor agreement, meaning there will be hockey in 2005-06.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">July 22, 2005:</span></b> The Penguins win a league-wide lottery receiving the first overall pick in the upcoming entry draft. With the pick come the rights to <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=Gog06Ez0Tzs&mode=related&amp;search=">Sidney Crosby</a>, considered by many the best NHL prospect since Mario Lemieux. The next day’s Pittsburgh Tribune review features a picture of Sidney Crosby on the front page, with the words “WE GOT HIM!!!” splashed above, while the headline immediately to the right reads, in much smaller print “Hundreds in Middle East Die in Earthquake.”</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">August 2006: </span></b>With a salary cap and a league-wide cost infrastructure in place the Penguins dive hear-first into the free-agent pool. In less than a month, the team acquires among others forwards <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=4119">Zigmund Palffy</a> and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=3036">John LeClair</a>, defenseman <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=1957">Sergei Gonchar</a> and goaltender <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=5371">Jocelyn Thibault</a>. Emboldened by the moves, I declare the Penguins closer to a championship than the Steelers.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">October 2006: </span></b>Despite <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hADv1mcKEiQ&mode=related&amp;search=">Sidney Crosby</a> playing better than advertised, the Penguins go winless in their first nine games, essentially derailing their season before it can begin.<span style=""> </span>The key culprit in the team’s demise appears to be a lack of team speed, an unexpected commodity under the new NHL rules (see<a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=35504"> Gionta, Brian</a>). Well, the Pens struggles may also have been related to the fact that they had <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=4322">Steve Poapst</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=35507">Rob Scuderi</a> and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=31171">Josef Melichar</a> and <a href="http://www.fantascienza.com/cinema/pianeta-delle-scimmie/media/Planet.jpg">Lyle Odelein</a> among their top six defensemen. I’m just saying the two things might be related.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">Nov 2006: </span></b>In the second nationally televised game of his career, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=6xvtLh02iYA&mode=related&amp;search=">Sidney Crosby</a> makes the most of his appearance on the grand stage. After having his tooth chipped with a high-stick by Flyers defenseman Derian Hatcher, Crosby returns to the ice and eventually <a href="http://www.fantascienza.com/cinema/pianeta-delle-scimmie/media/Planet.jpg">scores the game-winning goal</a> (1:36 on the montage) on a breakaway in overtime. Only three words can describe the reaction among Penguins fans following the performance: <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=fqfzRSz3OGU&mode=related&amp;search=">Totally. Fucking. Speechless.</a> </p> <p><b style=""><span style="">December 2006:</span></b> Still languishing at the bottom of the league, the Penguins fire head coach Ed Olczyk and replace him with Wilkes Barre-Scranton boss <a href="http://pittsburghpenguins.com/team/staff_bio.php?id=50">Michel Therrien</a>. Therrien, a noted task-master immediately distinguishes himself from the laid-back Olczyk by calling out his players and referring to his team as “the suck” after a loss to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Edmonton</st1:place></st1:city>.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">January 2006</span></b>: Proving I’m terrible at making predictions, my prognostication that Penguins are closer to a championship than the Steelers is blown to smithereens in just ten short days. In that span, the Steelers win their two biggest games in twenty-six years, qualifying for Super Bowl XL, while the second and third leading scorers on the Penguins retire. The first to<a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06019/640528.stm"> call it quits</a> is winger Zigmund Palffy, who is hampered by a lingering shoulder injury—although some question how severe the injury would be if the team was in playoff contention. Then, less than a week later, center/owner and franchise savior Mario Lemieux <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06025/643758.stm">ends his career</a> because of a recurring irregular heartbeat, one of a myriad of health problems that have plagued him throughout the latter part of his career. Lemieux has not played consistently since November, but it is still a quiet end to a career that was filled with so many <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=8ziRI1uemCk">loud and boisterous moments</a>.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">March 2006</span></b><span style="">:</span> In what is becoming an annual right of spring, general manager Craig Patrick deals his only notable commodity, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=4478">Mark Recchi</a>, to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Carolina</st1:place></st1:city> for nothing in return, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=36964">Nikolas Nordgren</a>, <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=49628">Krystofer Kolanos</a> and a 2^nd round draft pick. While rumors rarely come true, Penguins fans were subjected to weeks of talk about names like <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid%5B%5D=42548">Jordan Leopold</a> and <a href="http://www.hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/pdisplay.php3?pid=54470">R.J. Umberger</a>. Both of those players would have cost the team more than just Recchi, but a big move would have at least indicated that Patrick still had a vested interest in bettering the team. This was probably the day fan perception turned on the once infallible GM.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">April 2006:</span></b> In the last home game of the season, <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hLDKoF_08v8">Sidney Crosby</a> registers two assists 25 seconds apart, becoming the youngest player in NHL history to <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=HT8XNlYvS2o">score 100 points</a> in a season. Despite an ultimately disappointing season, the now very young Penguins team is given multiple standing ovations throughout the 6-1 over the New York Islanders. <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> in the team’s final game the next night, finishing with 39 goals, 63 assists and a club record 102 points by a rookie. The Penguins drop the game to the Maple Leafs, 5-3, finishing the season with a record of <a href="http://hockeydb.com/ihdb/stats/leagues/seasons/nhl19272006.html">22-36-14</a> and 58 points. It is the fourth consecutive season the team misses the playoffs.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">May 2006:</span></b> The Penguins hire <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Nashville</st1:place></st1:city> executive <a href="http://pittsburghpenguins.com/team/staff_bio.php?id=56">Ray Shero</a> as General Manager, replacing the recently fired Craig Patrick. Shero is the first Penguins GM since 1989 to not have a character based on him in a <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0349825/">Disney movie</a>.</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">Summer 2006:</span></b>Evgeni Malkin is coming to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. The team is being sold. Evgeni Malkin is <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=FIpETVOzEsM">not coming to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city></a>. The team is being moved. The team is not being sold. Evgeni Malkin is coming to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. The team is being sold. The team is not being moved. Evgeni Malkin is not coming to <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. The team is not being sold. Evgeni Malkin is not being sold. The team is moving to Metallurg Magnitogorsk. Fjsjdfjsdklfjfsdfjdsjfksdfjkdf…..</p> <p><b style=""><span style="">September 2006:</span></b><span style=""> </span>After fleeing <st1:country-region st="on"><st1:place st="on">Russia</st1:place></st1:country-region> under clandestine circumstances, Evgeni Malkin finally signs with the Penguins. However, 22 minutes into his first exhibition game, he separates his shoulder in a <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=XGvALytUaU8">nasty collision</a> with John LeClair. The incident spawns a million “John LeClair is actually a KGB Agent” jokes and, in response, about 50 irate talk-show calls from the guy who runs John LeClair’s official fan website. Only one really important question emerges: John LeClair has an official fan website?</p> <p>I was going to write a June 2007 entry where <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> wins the Hart, Art Ross and Conn Smythe Trophies, Malkin wins the Calder and the team wins the Stanley Cup. But as we’ve already discussed, my karma kills the team and powers of prognostication stink. So let’s pretend I never even had those thoughts. In fact, why am I even telling you this…</p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115947913890692723?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159384556557320222006-09-27T11:14:00.000-07:002006-09-27T22:02:24.486-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.yenra.net/steve-irwin/steve-irwin.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.yenra.net/steve-irwin/steve-irwin.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>So ever since the croc hunter's death, I've restrained myself from commenting about his unfortunate demise. I know, I know, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chris_Burke_%28actor%29">Corky </a>from <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0096635/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Life Goes On</span></a> is <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/god-bless-youtube-week-6.html">fair game</a>, but Steve Irwin isn't? I suppose part of me actually felt bad for the guy, while another part thought, given the cirumstances, he was almost too easy of a target. Besides, who could top <a href="http://www.blogger.com/profile/16886376">Big Daddy Drew</a> from <a href="http://kissmesuzy.blogspot.com/">Kissing Suzy Kolber</a>, who opined "at least Steve Irwin died doing what he loved; kind of like if I died masturbating."<br /><br />However, now <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060927/ap_en_tv/tv_crocodile_hunter;_ylt=AqE8xRY.ee1zHCzdgkmxnXVA0qsv;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl">comes word</a> from Irwin's widow Jill that the crocodile hunter always thought he would die young, just not at the hands of an animal.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"I never thought it would be an animal, he never thought it would be an animal," Irwin said. "I thought he would fall out of a tree, he thought it would be a car accident."</span><br /><br />Ms. Irwin the continues that this preminition has helped the family move past his death because they were already prepared for it. Still, her husband's absence has hit her hard, and she's grieving "every minute of the day."<br /><br />I mean, what can you say except...she thought he'd die by falling out of a fucking <span style="font-style: italic;">tree</span>???<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115938455655732022?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159290975207191202006-09-26T10:08:00.000-07:002006-10-02T09:01:02.570-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/toc/nhl/03-NHL.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/toc/nhl/03-NHL.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a>ESPN's John Buccigross unveiled his annual NHL Eastern Conference preview <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nhl/columns/story?columnist=buccigross_john&amp;id=2597756">today</a>. As many of you know, Buccigross is a Pittsburgh-native who always manages to show the home-team some extra love. The article is an excellent read, and a reminder of what we're missing out on now that the "World Wide Leader" is no longer in the hockey business.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115929097520719120?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159206537544278322006-09-25T10:48:00.000-07:002006-09-26T19:37:34.060-07:00<b>Andy Rooney</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/NpDyJObCKOY"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/NpDyJObCKOY" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />The mid-term elections are less than two months away and the talking heads on TV are gearing up for the stretch-drive. With the President's approval rating sagging near an all-time low, it figures to be a contentious season among the wonks as both parties battle for control of congress.<br /><br />We'd like to use this week's feature to honor <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/60minutes/main3415.shtml"><span style="font-style: italic;">60 Minutes </span></a>commentator and resident curmudgeon, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Rooney">Andy Rooney</a>. Most reporters choose to take on issues like the war in Iraq, the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, or soaring gas prices. Mr. Rooney on the other hand is not afraid to tackle the <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/sections/60minutes/rooney/main3419.shtml">subjects</a> really pressing our country, such as proper grammar usage, and <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2005/11/03/60minutes/rooney/main1007432.shtml">milk</a>.<br /><br />Keep on keeping on, Andy.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115920653754427832?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1159159591994816322006-09-24T21:20:00.000-07:002006-10-05T13:42:33.066-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.shoplet.com/office/limages/SAVT2236.JPG"><img style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: pointer; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="http://www.shoplet.com/office/limages/SAVT2236.JPG" border="0" /></a><br />As part of our on-going Penguins season preview, we're offering up space on North O Forbes for some of our friends and fellow fans. These posts are an open forum for them to sound off on any Pens-related matter in any manner they see fit.<br /><br />Your author of this post is <span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Matt Karasic</span>.<br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Age:</span> 23<br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold"></span><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Penguins fan since:</span> 1988<br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Favorite All-Time Player:</span> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kevin_Stevens">Kevin Stevens</a><br /><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;font-size:180%;" ><br /></span><div style="TEXT-ALIGN: center"><a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2005/10/i-feel-ill.html"><span style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold;font-family:times new roman;font-size:180%;" >...I feel ill.</span> </a><br /></div><br />As reports of sales talks continue, it once again dawns upon me that it’s quite possible that we are just weeks away from the beginning of the Penguins’ final season in Pittsburgh. Of all of the potential buyers mentioned, Sam Fingold and Jim Balsillie have been at the forefront (supposedly, fuck if I know); Fingold having already signed a (now stale-dated) letter of intent and Balsillie reportedly close to doing so. Both are fabulously wealthy, Fingold being a real-estate bigwig in Connecticut and Balsillie the CEO of the BlackBerry company, and both don’t give two shits about keeping the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Fingold has repeatedly expressed an interest in moving the team to Kansas City; and Balsillie, a Canadian, wants to smuggle the team back to his homeland.<br /><br />First of all, fuck Missouri. If “<a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0048445/">Oklahoma!</a>” taught us anything, it’s that in Kansas City… well... they’ve gone about as far as they can go. What are they going to do with a hockey team? (In all truthfulness, everything I know about that place I learned from young Will Parker. As far as I’m concerned, they still get their kicks from Burly-Q’s, gas buggies, and Bell telly-phones.)<br /><br />If the Penguins move westward (possibly swapping conferences with the nearby Columbus Blue Jackets…?), it would rob the NHL of Crosby vs. Ovechkin, the best one-on-one rivalry in hockey right now. Gretzky played in the western conference his entire career (the three year debacle with the Rangers not withstanding), and so fans were treated to Lemieux vs. Gretzky only once or twice a year, possibly three times (taking into account the All-Star Game). Ovechkin and Crosby (two of the three offensive MVP’s in this year’s world championships) meet four times every year, and they wouldn’t have to make it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals to meet in the playoffs. Previous to 01-02, the Pens met the Caps in 7 of 11 playoff seasons. What are the odds THAT wouldn’t sell out? The marketing possibilities are endless.The <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=s7Kg_w-0y_w">classic training sequence</a> from Rocky IV pits footage of Sylvester Stallone (Rocky) training on a mountaintop in some arctic wilderness against footage of super soldier Dolph Lundgren (Drago) training in some secret Red Army facility. Can’t you just imagine that reinvented for Crosby/Ovechkin? Wouldn’t that get you fired up? And wasn’t the <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=YfFvKyLrGYc">training montage</a> from Rocky III REALLY gay?<br /><br />As for moving the Penguins to Canada…Hamilton is 45 minutes from Toronto. I mapquested it. It’s comparable in size to Pittsburgh, but Pittsburgh isn’t located within spitting distance of an Original Six team. Look at what happened to the Nordiques, located in Quebec City, three hours northeast of Montreal. Or the Hartford Whalers, two hours from New York City. Defunct. As far as I can tell, it’s risky trying to establish franchises near Original Six teams, whose fan bases are widespread and fiercely loyal.<br /><br />Fuck Canada.<br /><br />The worst part about the whole sales process is that another bidder, Andrew Murstein, has pledged to keep the team in Pittsburgh regardless of whatever ends up happening with a new arena. Mark Madden says he’s a kook, and I think Balsillie and Fingold are both offering $5-$10 million more than he is, but Jesus. Where’s the love? Pittsburghers turn out in record numbers to see a 2005-2006 team that were bottom-feeders from day one, who’ve been in the top of the draft lottery the last four seasons after a talent fire sale, and the guy that wants to keep them here can’t get a little hometown discount?<br /><br />I know that I’m preaching to the choir here, but what the fuck?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115915959199481632?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158860793440409342006-09-21T10:46:00.000-07:002006-09-21T10:56:35.466-07:00<b>Oli</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/lTdi6EXAhNM"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/lTdi6EXAhNM" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />This video of the Mets locker room celebration has been making the rounds on the internet the last couple of days.<br /><br />No doubt, its popularity has something to do with an attractive blond in a low cut top getting soaked with champagne and beer. Well, I'm not sure what this says about me, but the first thing I noticed in the video wasn't SNY reporter Julie Donaldson.<br /><br />If you look closely, the guy leading the charge with the champagne, right over Donaldson's right shouulder, is none other than former Pirates starter <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6945">Oliver Perez</a>.<br /><br />Oli was once the next big thing in Pittsburgh. During the 2004 season when, flasing 97 mph heat, he won 12 games and struck out 239 batters. Many pundits compared him to a young Randy Johnson.<br /><br />Well, a funny thing happened on the way to Cooperstown. Oli's velocity disappeared, and for the next season and a half he <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/p/perezol01.shtml">struggled</a> to keep his ERA below 5.00.<br /><br />We remember a particularly brutal outing earlier this season against the Padres. Perez was coming off a strong start and looking to build some momentum. Following a two hour rain-dealy, he sprinted to the mound in typically flashy fashion. Six runs and a booming Mike Piazza home-run later, Oli was done for the night by the third inning. He was optioned to the minors a few days later.<br /><br />After a mediocre stint there, the Pirates finally bit the bullet and traded him to the Mets on July 31, acquiring Xavier Nady in the deal. Another in a long line of highly-touted WFTIPS pitchers (see <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/s/schmija01.shtml">Schmidt, Jason</a> and <a href="http://www.baseball-reference.com/b/bensokr01.shtml">Benson, Kris</a>) that never reached their potential in Pittsburgh.<br /><br />Following a rash of injuries to Mets starters, Perez was called up to make a few starts in the Big Apple. Not surprisingly, he has epitomized mediocrity, and done absolutely nothing to help the Mets win the division title.<br /><br />There are probably a thousand people that deserve to be spraying champagne in that locker room as much as Oliver Perez. I'm soliciting you, my loyal readers (all five or six of you) to help me compile this list.<br /><br />Here are my suggestions:<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Henry_Kissinger">Henry Kissinger</a>, Former Secretary of State<br /><br /><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marmaduke">Brad Anderson</a>, author of the Marmaduke cartoons<br /><br /><a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0001710/">David Schwimmer</a><br /><br />and <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0267309/">James Fargo</a>, director of the Clint Eastwood classic<span style="font-style: italic;"> </span><a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0077523/">Every Which Way But Loose</a>.<br /><br />Your suggestions, please:<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115886079344040934?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158857693368411242006-09-21T09:27:00.000-07:002006-09-21T09:54:53.500-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.dvdklippet.nu/bilder/nyhet_grey%C2%B4s%20anatomy.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.dvdklippet.nu/bilder/nyhet_grey%C2%B4s%20anatomy.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Well, we are 8 hours and 30 minutes away from the season premiere of <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0413573/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Grey's Anatomy</span></a>, and I for one am overjoyed. No, I don't plan on watching the show. I've never actually seen even one episode. I'm just pumped that by tonight at 10, every Disney owned station can stop airing that damn preview commercial.<br /><br />If you have a pulse and have been anywhere near a television in the last month, you know what I'm talking about. Everyone in the cast mutters the word "panties" about 35 times, while some anonymous pair of black, lacy underpants are hung up on a bulletin board. Then, cut to the <a href="http://imdb.com/name/nm0644897/">asian chick</a> from <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0375063/">Sideways</a> </span>stripping into her panties and proceeding to hump a doctor on the operating table right as his parents walk in. Whew, that's a lot of panties. It's all very high-brow as you can tell. Of course, the action takes place under the whiny strains of the pseduo-emo strains of The Fray's hit <span style="font-style: italic;">How to Save a Life</span>. Let's see...save a life...hospital show...save a life...hospital show. I get! That's brilliant!<br /><br />Nine o'clock (8 central) can't get here soon enough.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115885769336841124?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158786009995977462006-09-20T13:17:00.000-07:002006-09-20T21:48:09.600-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/your_turn/news/2000/06/08/reilly_chat/reilly.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/your_turn/news/2000/06/08/reilly_chat/reilly.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />As of 3:34 pm today, Rick Reilly is officially dead to me. For years, his <span style="font-style: italic;">Life of Reilly</span> column on the backpage of Sports Illustrated was the first thing I read when my magazine arrived every Wednesday. Reilly had a unique gift for finding the perfect way to present an inspiring or humorous outside-the-box take on the world of sports. I often came away remembering why it was I followed these games so passionately.<br /><br />Really, his downfall probably began four or five years ago, when his once bitingly sarcastic sense of humore began to turn folksy and downright corny. He teetered even closer ot the edge with his repetitive columns about baseball's steroids scandal, where he repeatedly (and unimaginatively) blasted players for their influence on kids. Talk about a tired, trite angle.<br /><br />This week's <a href="http://premium.si.cnn.com/pr/subs2/siexclusive/2006/writers/rick_reilly/09/18/reilly0925/index.html">column </a>is the last straw, though. In it, Reilly <span style="font-style: italic;">defends </span>Boston University's <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/sioncampus/">decision</a> to throw out fans who swear during hockey games. Wow. Can anyone think of a more curmudgeonly, stodgy and unhip position to take than that?<br /><br />Maybe I'm memorializing, but it seems to me that in years past, Reilly would have torn the administration at Boston University a new one for making this decision. When Idrop upwards of $20 on a ticket, can easily spend another $12-$15 on a burger, fries and a beer, it's hard to remember why I ever left the comfort of my living room. The right to calll Derek Jeter, the goalie for Boston College, or some unnamed sports journalist in attendance, (who may or may not have lost his edge as a writer) a fucking douchebag is all I left. Well, that and the enjoyment of hearing fans far more creative than me spew mockery way more articulate than "fucking douchebag."<br /><br />And you wanna take that away from me, Reilly? As you say so cleverly in your column "f&amp;@!$ you!"<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115878600999597746?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158591028330251462006-09-18T07:50:00.000-07:002006-09-18T07:52:02.266-07:00<b>George Washington</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/pc9y5ayeeb4"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/pc9y5ayeeb4" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />In the lobby of the Pittsburgh International Airport, two statues greet travelers as they begin their entrance to the city. One depicts Franco Harris, hunched over, eyes alert, arms straining forward about to make the immaculate reception. The other depcits a young George Washington, musket in hand, poised to go off to battle.<br /><br />After a recent trip, I came upon a mother and her son, mulling over the meaning of the statues. Like any self-respecting Pittsburgher, the boy, who looked about 7, could easily identify Franco Harris. However, when he came to the statue of George Washington, he paused. "Mom," he asked. "Who's that guy in the funny hat?"<br /><br />Well little boy, this is who the guy in the hat is, and this is the kind of man he was.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115859102833025146?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158557172683663672006-09-17T22:10:00.000-07:002006-09-20T14:56:27.293-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20060916pd_penguins0915e_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.post-gazette.com/images4/20060916pd_penguins0915e_450.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>Sometimes, even at age 23, it’s fun to play make believe. Two mornings this week, I awoke bright and early and hauled myself down to Mellon Arena to watch Penguins Training Camp. Sure, the only reason I got in was because the event was open to the public. However, I didn’t let that stop me form bringing a pen, notebook and digital camera in order to obtain the inside “scoop.” So now I present to you my observations from training camp, with pictures to follow in the next couple days. <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>It looks like the team is trying to establish its lines right away. Through two forty minute scrimmages, the coaching staff made an effort to keep the following combinations together:</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">LINE 1:</span> Sidney Crosby <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Center)</span>, Nils Ekman, Colby Armstrong <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Wings)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">LINE 2:</span> Evgeni Malkin <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Center)</span>, Ryan Malone, Mark Recchi <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Wings)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">LINE 3:</span> Erik Christensen <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Center)</span>, John LeClair, Jarko Ruutu <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Wings)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">LINE 4:</span> Maxime Talbot <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Center)</span>, Michel Ouellet, Andre Roy <span style="font-weight: bold;">(Wings)</span></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEFENSEMEN:</span> </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>Ryan Whitney, Brooks Orpik</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Sergei Gonchar, Mark Eaton</p> <p class="MsoNormal">Josef Melichar, Rob Scuderi<br /></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;">-- </span>It’s interesting to compare this line-up to the one the Pens had in training camp last year. Without a doubt, the overall offensive firepower was more impressive in 05-06. Lest we forget, that squad had Mario Lemieux, Zigmund Palffy, Ric Jackman and Dick Tarnstrom, two 80-90 point forwards and a pair of 50 point defenseman. Even before injuries derailed the careers of Lemieux and Palffy, and the new rules exposed the defensive shortcomings of Jackman and Tarnstrom, the unit struggled to find any cohesiveness. That version of the Pens lacked a true second-line center, which meant that either Lemieux had to shift over from the wing (a position with far less defensive responsibilities at this point in his career) or Lasse Prjeta ended up centering a line expected to generate goals. Either way, it was ugly. </p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p>So while this team may lack the pedigree of last year’s group, I like the overall sum much better. The Crosby/Malkin center at combo gives the Penguins perhaps the best 1-2 punch at the position this side of <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">San Jose</st1:place></st1:city>. I also love the Nils Ekman pick-up. Having played with Cheechoo and Thornton on the Sharks, he strikes me as the perfect complement to someone of <st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place>’s skill level. Ekman has enough offensive prowess to hang with skill forwards, but also a commitment to the defensive zone. If the top line could find a sniper to put on the other wing…we might really have something. Which leads me to point number two…</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">--</span>It appears doubtful Jordan Staal is going to make the team. As everyone knows, the top two center spots (Staal’s natural position) are filled, and he would be badly miscast on a checking line. There has been strong talk about converting him to wing, especially since it’s a position where the organization in depth. If Staal were going to make the team, it would serve to logic he would spend considerable time there during training. However, Staal took all of his shifts at center, on a line with Connor James and Ryan Stone. Both James and Stone are ticketed for the minors this year, and considering Staal is barely 18, all indications are that he’s going to spend another year in juniors.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">-- </span>Evgeni Malkin is sick, in a very, very good way.</p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">-- </span><a href="http://www.hockeyfights.com/articles/145">Dennis Bonvie</a> was in camp! For those of you who are unfamiliar, Dennis Bonvie is a man with no discernable hockey skills. His only positive traits appear to be: 1) he’s not afraid to start a fight with anyone, and 2) he’s very good friends with Mario Lemieux. Bonvie provided one of the highlights of training camp last year, when he started brawls against his own teammates on consecutive days. Bonvie falls into a long and proud line of “Lemieux guys” whom the Penguins employed only because of their good relationships with the big guy. I hope when Lemieux eventually sells the team that new ownership keeps this tradition alive—kind of like the captains picks for the Ryder Cup. Every season, Lemieux gets to pick one guy to be on the team regardless of said players position, age or talent level. The only question is not whether or not this would be awesome, but rather whether Lemieux’s first captain’s pick would be Marc Bergevin or J.J. Daigneault.<o:p></o:p></p> <p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;">-- </span><font>Josef Melichar has no idea when he's supposed to check someone. When it's the regular season, and your opponent has the puck against the boards, that's a good time to lay a thunderous check. When it's an intrasquad pre-season scrimmage, and your star prospect, who finally made it over from Russia has the puck against the boards, that's a bad time to lay him out with a thunderous hit to the head. What's even more troubling is that Melichar did this to Malkin <span style="font-style: italic;">twice</span>. Can anyone tell me the last time Melichar creamed an opposing team's best player? Anyone?<br /></span></p><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-weight: bold;"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font>--</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font> You have to love Kevin Stevens. He was the coach for the “Black Team” during the scrimmage, and he spent the entire time shifting, twitching and rubbing the back of his head. He looked like he’d just detached himself from an espresso IV drip. Although I suppose if I were a recovering </span><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=xVPMyKpuock">crack head</a> who once had my face <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06173/700298-198.stm">broken into a hundred pieces</a> on the ice, it would be something of an accomplishment if I looked that good.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></sp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Marc-Andre Fleury still blows at penalty shots. In the first scrimmage, he stopped only one of four breakaways; a troubling number considering the teams struggles in shoot-outs last season. On the flip-side, Jocelyn Thibault looked good, stoning </span><st1:place st="on">Crosby</st1:place> twice among others. Does anyone know the rules on a shoot-out? Can we keep Thibault around as a shoot-out specialist? The team could put him in during the last five seconds of a tied game, and have him be the guy in net during “the most exciting play in hockey.” Thibault would be like our version of Mike Stanton, a guy the Yankees kept around only to get lefties in late innings. The only hitch is that I’m not sure I want to count on Thibault to keep the opposition from scoring during the last five seconds of a tied game.<o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></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</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></sp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They should change the quote from “See Paris and die,” to “see Michel Therien run a practice and die.” I can’t possibly do justice to this in print, but trust me when on this next part. Any chain-smoking French Canadian who once summed up his team’s performance by simply saying “we are za suck,” is a site to behold when drawing up plays on a white-board.</span><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p><span style="font-weight: bold;"><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span><font></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></sp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</span><a href="http://pittsburghpenguins.com/schedule/index.php?monthID=10&amp;yearID=2006">Bring on the Flyers</a>.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115855717268366367?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158513918799489082006-09-17T09:44:00.000-07:002006-09-17T10:25:18.926-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/images/ncaab_duquesnedukes.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.coasttocoasttickets.com/images/ncaab_duquesnedukes.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />These are dark days for Duquesne basketball. The Dukes went 3-24 last year, and certainly challenged for the label of worst Division I hoops team in the country. This debacle marked the eleventh straight year in which Duquesne didn't even sniff a tournament, with many of those seasons coming under the watch of a <a href="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/2/29/NEE.jpg">head coach</a> who looked like the <a href="http://www.newprophecy.net/Marshall_Applewhite_3.jpg">leader</a> of the Heaven's Gate Cult.<br /><br />Well, things appeared to be turning around for the Dukes this off-season. They finally forced out Marshall Applewhite. The new coach, Ron Everhart, brought in a boat-load of talented Juco transfers, and spoke openly of dismissing the program's culture of losing. Now comes word early this morning that <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2591340">five Duquesne players were shot</a> while returning home from an on-campus dance. Fortunately, three players, center Shawn James and guards Kojah Mensah and Aaron Jackson have been released from the hospital already. However, two players, forwards Sam Ashaolu and Stuard Baldonado (the Dukes top recruit) remain in critical condition.<br /><br />I'm having trouble wrapping my head around any scenario where this was an intentional hit on the baketball team. It's not like anyone lost money betting on the Dukes last season, and if someone did, well, chances are they don't possess the mental capibility to discharge a firearm. No, it seems most likely this was just an incredibly unfortunate random act of violence. Another tough break for a program that has already endured way too many.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115851391879948908?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158354043265174842006-09-15T14:00:00.000-07:002006-09-15T20:48:59.790-07:00<b>Pure Genius</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/_0hrCS_egag"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/_0hrCS_egag" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />As we here at NorthoForbes <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/09/welcome-back-to-nfl.html">explained </a>just last week, we don't like sports previews that are heavy on analysis. However, as any regular reader (all 5 or 6 of you) can attest, we are also huge NHL fans, and are particularly partial to our hometown Pittsburgh Pengiuns.<br /><br />With the team's training camp opening today, it's time to announce our first ever Pittsburgh Penguins season preview.<br /><br />From now until opening night (October 5) we'll be pulling out all the stops: top-ten lists, columns, guest posts, timelines and maybe even a YouTube clip or two. And no X's and O's analysis; we promise.<br /><br />In fact, I think calling what we're doing here a preview doesn't do it justice at all-- it's more like a labor of love. To demonstrate what we mean, take a look at the above montage of clips from the <a href="http://imdb.com/title/tt0104868/">Mighty Ducks</a> movies. Clearly that fine piece of work comes from a heartfelt appreciation for the material. Well, we're bringing the same effort and determination to this project that "<a href="http://youtube.com/profile?user=forgivengrace21">forgivengrace21</a>" gave to creating his masterpiece. By the way, setting the whole thing to Leann Rimes? Talk about a stroke of brilliance.<br /><br />There's no set schedule to when things will be going up, so check back frequently. We think you'll like what you see.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115835404326517484?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1158066650229979682006-09-12T06:02:00.000-07:002006-09-12T11:38:00.473-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/football/ncaa/specials/preview/2005/independents/t1_quinn2_si.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://i.a.cnn.net/si/2005/football/ncaa/specials/preview/2005/independents/t1_quinn2_si.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a> That look on <a href="http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/quinn_brady00.html">Brady Quinn's</a> face after last night's Oakland-San Diego game? That would be the "Oh crap, there's no way I'm not getting drafted by the <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2006/football/nfl/09/12/chargers.raiders.ap/index.html">Raiders</a>" stare.<br /><br />Now, maybe it's just me, but I get the distinct impression that I've seen a smiliar <a href="http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20050921/images/eli280.jpg">face </a>somewhere before...<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115806665022997968?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157939231615041952006-09-10T18:47:00.000-07:002006-09-10T21:02:12.263-07:00<object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/6RsrWFo94aQ"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/6RsrWFo94aQ" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />Well the first Sunday of the football season is nearly in the books. As I sit here, staring at the empty pizza boxes and chicken wing bones, wondering how I'll ever wear a belt to work tomorrow, I offer the one opinion that all NFL fans, regardless of hometown, race, class, ethnicity or gender can agree upon.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115793923161504195?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157830420635682262006-09-09T12:06:00.000-07:002006-09-09T23:22:13.430-07:00<a href="http://www.minorleaguebaseball.com/images/2006/02/03/4gaEynHx.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px 10px 10px 0px; float: left; width: 200px;" alt="" src="http://www.minorleaguebaseball.com/images/2006/02/03/4gaEynHx.jpg" border="0" /></a><br />Pirates starter Ian Snell knows exactly what's to blame for his <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/boxscore?gameId=260908117">poor performance </a>against the Cincinnati Reds last night. It wasn't pitch selection, or mechanics, or even the potent Reds line-up that caused him to give-up four runs on seven hits (including three homers) in just six innings. No, it was the fact that his damn teammates and coaches had the nerve to try and talk to him while he was pitching. As Snell <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06252/720458-63.stm">told </a>the Post-Gazette's Paul Meyer:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"I don't like people talking to me during games, I'm really upset about it...I go into the dugout after an inning and people are asking me, 'What was that pitch? What was that pitch?' I have a lot of stuff in my brain now. I have to get rid of it."</span><br /><br />Snell was particularly irked by pitching coach Jim Colborn's visit to the mound following a two-run homer and a walk.<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"I know it's his job to come out and try to calm me down," Snell said. "But it gets on my nerves. It's really bothering me."<br /></span><br />For the record, this is the leading game-winner and "ace" of the 2006 Pittsburgh Pirates. What a pro. And anyone dares to wonder why I bestowed the <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/08/ramblings-on-carson-palmer.html">WFTIPS </a>honor on this organization.<br /><br />I just hope for everyone's sake Snell "gets rid of" all the "stuff" he has on his brain before someone gets killed. If you ask me, the tone of that comment is even creepier than Kellen Winslow's infamous "I'm a soldier! I'm a warrior!" <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I82BPA5QAaQ">rant</a> from 2003.<br /><br />On the positive side, it sounds like Jim Tracy never has to worry about Snell tongue <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06251/720136-66.stm">kissing</a> him after a big strike-out.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115783042063568226?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157668158556179402006-09-07T15:15:00.000-07:002006-09-10T17:42:00.993-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.kristinekeller.com/cowher.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.kristinekeller.com/cowher.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">DISCLAIMER:</span></span> We here at North O Forbes hate season previews that are heavy on analysis. With the kickoff to the Steelers and the entire NFL season just hours away, it would seem appropriate that we would offer our readership (all five or six of you) some sort of forecast. Well, the magazine rack at Barnes and Noble is overflowing with 250 page tomes that include tidbits on every St. Louis Rams and New York Jets draft pick. If that’s your thing, more power to you. Just don’t expect us to ever mention <a href="http://www.nfl.com/draft/profiles/2006/smith_brad">Brad Smith’s</a> time in the 40 yard dash. Instead, we offer a completely unresearched and totally biased personal essay on the Steelers (kind like Bill Simmons’ <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/060906">thoughts</a> on the upcoming Patriots, er, NFL season). We promise this moment of reflection won’t last too long, and we’ll start acting like smart asses again very soon. Without further ado…<o:p></o:p><br /><br />My <span style="font-style: italic;">Sports Illustrated</span> subscription expired in the middle of last January. Why is this relevant you ask? Well, as most readers know, the marketing gurus at SI like to reward your renewal with a “special” gift. The best of these gifts is an NFL Champions package, that includes a hardback book and NFL Films DVD featuring whatever team wins the Super Bowl. Sick of getting fleece blankets the color of pool table felt and oversized gym bags, I decided to take a chance. The Steelers were two wins away from the title, and the starring role in <span style="font-style: italic;">Sports Illustrated’s</span> Champions Package.<o:p></o:p><br /><br />Well, as everyone knows, the men of Steel came through. The Gatorade had barely dried on Bill Cowher’s shirt when I was already on the phone, reading my credit card number to SI’s subscription department. Yet as with most of my best laid plans, something hit a snag. February came and went. My magazines began arriving again, but still no Champions Package. March came and went. I bit the bullet and called customer service. “We’re sorry sir; we had a computer glitch that says you still owe us payment. Since you don’t, we’ll ship those off to you right away.” Well, needless to say, they didn’t arrive right away. Four more calls to customer service and a 3 AM profanity-laced email later, my Champions Package finally arrived last week.<o:p></o:p><br /><br />For a guy who once killed his chances with a girl at a party by telling her “inspirational sports movies are like porn to me,” the Super Bowl XL DVD was a revelation. And in hindsight, it’s kind of nice the movie showed up on the eve of a new season. It had been long enough that some of the smaller details of the championship season were already getting a little hazy. No, I won’t bother summarizing the thing here, and yes I cried. Twice. Fuck you for judging me.<br /> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-indent: 0.5in;"><o:p></o:p><br />However, given the timing of the DVD’s arrival, there is one particularly haunting scene worth mentioning. The film’s credits play over footage of the Steelers victory parade through the streets of downtown <st1:city st="on"><st1:place st="on">Pittsburgh</st1:place></st1:city>. Throughout that day of celebration are images of a perfectly healthy, newly-elected Mayor Bob O’Connor—jiving with Hines Ward, slapping high-fives with Bill Cowher, and of course, leading the crowd in a raucous chorus of “Here We Go Steelers, Here We Go!”<o:p><br /></o:p><br />Now I’m not trying to eulogize O’Connor. His death is terribly sad, but it’s not my place. Instead, I’m taking the DVD as a reminder not only of life’s fragility, but also the great little moments packed into every season; moments that happen whether or not your team ultimately wins a championship. So, with this in mind, I offer my first annual New Season Resolution. I’ve never been terribly good at keeping my New Year’s Resolutions (see my chewed up finger nails for evidence of how successful resolutions from 1995 through 1999 were), but I’m hoping I can follow through on this one. With the glow of a championship season still fresh, I’m going spend just this one season trying to worry less about wins and losses and more about enjoying the ride.</p> Allow me to explain further. I never saw Ben Roethlisberger tackle Nick Harper. The instant the ball popped out, I was a crumpled, cursing, sweaty mess on the floor of the ESPN Zone in Washington, DC. In the moments between then and Mike Vanderjagt’s missed field goal, I wondered why I did this to myself—if the highs were worth the agonizing lows. If the Steelers had lost that game, I’m sure I would have come crawling back for the 2006 season, my fandom hungrier and more intense than ever. But for the first time in a long time, something broke exactly right for Pittsburgh sports.<br /><br />So this is my reward. What good is it to be the defending champions if you can’t enjoy it for a while? I was in St. Louis last week visiting family, when a drunk local spotted me in my Pittsburgh Steelers paraphernalia. “Steelers fucking suck!” He said to me. “Sorry dude, I couldn’t hear you. I’ve got five Vince Lombardi trophies in my ears,” I shot back, and just kept walking. You get to be that chill when you're the champs. Regardless of what happens this season, we as Steelers fans get to keep that vanilla cool for the next 20 or so weeks. After all, our team is the title-holder until the final gun sounds on February 4 in Miami. I’m still going to watch every game, and I'll still get pissed when Heath Miller comes off the field on third downs. I'm just going to try and enjoy my dinner a little more on the Sundays when my team loses.<br /><br />That said, there are two other guarantees. First, this resolution will be shot to hell the minute the Dolphins convert their first third and long tonight. And second, if the Steelers repeat, no matter how successful my resolution is, I’ll be back on a table at Peter’s Pub, terrible towel in one hand, <st1:place st="on"><st1:placename st="on">Iron</st1:placename> <st1:placetype st="on">City</st1:placetype></st1:place> in the other, conducting the crowd in a rousing rendition of “Don’t Stop Believing.” How many times do you get to do THAT in your life?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115766815855617940?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157553126108933502006-09-06T07:13:00.000-07:002006-09-12T11:43:06.703-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://andrewteman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/spam_1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://andrewteman.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/spam_1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Somehow this message made it into my inbox. For the record, I have no idea who Benjamin is, I've never considered investing in ebooks, and I'm certainly not in love with Elissa. We all know she's a worthless tramp.<br /><br />Anyway, props to the spam people for upping the creativity level of their messages. This sounds like a weekly post-modern soap opera that leaves the first wave of Gen-X housewives itching for the next installment. Think <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michel_Foucault">Michel Foucault</a> meets <a href="http://www.nbc.com/Days_of_our_Lives/"><span style="font-style: italic;">Days of Our Lives</span></a>. I wonder if "Nathaniel Richard" is hiring young writers. Perhaps I'll send along a resume. Although, if they were really good, they would have included a YouTube suggestion for this week. Jerks.<br /><br />The email itself follows, and the above picture is the image that came with the message:<br /><br /><div id="tt"><span style="font-size:larger;"><b>Subj: bossy</b></span> <span class="lk ct" id="ds_inbox">Inbox</span></div><script type="text/vbscript">Function VBGetSwfVer(i) on error resume next Dim swControl, swVersion swVersion = 0 set swControl = CreateObject("ShockwaveFlash.ShockwaveFlash." + CStr(i)) if (IsObject(swControl)) then swVersion = swControl.GetVariable("$version") end if VBGetSwfVer = swVersion End Function</script><script>function FlashRequest() {} function Player_DoFSCommand() {}</script><div class="mhc"><div id="mh_0"><table class="" id="mm" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td rowspan="2" id="_cc" class="ctl"><br /></td><td colspan="4" class="ctop" height="4"><br /></td><td rowspan="2" class="ctr"><br /></td></tr><tr><td class="au" style="color: rgb(0, 104, 28);"><img id="_ss" class="h" src="http://mail.google.com/mail/images/star_off_sm_2.gif" height="13" width="13" /> <span id="_user_takpy@abrasivetool.com">Nathaniel Richard</span> </td><td width="100%"><table class="rc" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tbody><tr><td><div><span style="color: rgb(0, 104, 28);"><takpy com=""> </takpy></span>to <span id="_upro_andysmith2@gmail.com">me</span></div></td></tr></tbody></table></td><td><br /></td><td align="right"><br /></td></tr></tbody></table><div class="s cb" id="serd_0" style="padding-top: 4px;"><div style="margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 4px; padding: 4px 8px; background: rgb(181, 237, 188) none repeat scroll 0% 50%; -moz-background-clip: initial; -moz-background-origin: initial; -moz-background-inline-policy: initial;"><b></b><br /></div></div></div></div><script><!-- D(["mb","<div>\n\n\n\n\n\n<div>\n<div><font><img></span></div>\n<div><font>Vendeuvre is only one aspect of the \nquestion.</span></div>\n<div><font>I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely \nmore serious. The Simler looms hadbeen silent, for the first time since the War. \nWith your cursed French law, there was no way of preventingthis.</span></div>\n<div><font>Youmust begin by getting clear of it \nall.</span></div>\n<div><font>Yes,yes, my dear boy, and the only force that \nexists, for the moment, inthe house of Simler.</span></div>\n<div><font>What she has to learn from you will take her a \ncentury. You will understand what I mean in a moment.</span></div>\n<div><font>I have heard also of yourtaste for the \nviolin.</span></div>\n<div><font>He added in an important tone: There is the whole \nhistory of modernsociety in my parable. There are some curious discoveries to be \nmade there.</span></div>\n<div><font>I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely \nmore serious.</span></div>\n<div><font>I dont even want to go into the country and \nsleep.</span></div>\n<div><font>I shall be glad when you tell methat you bear me no \nill will. Yes, let Benjamin say whether such behaviour was in the interest ofall \nparties concerned. Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are free of all \nfees.</span></div>\n<div><font>As formyself, what you have said interests me. And \nI tell you for the tenth time that Im miserably ill.</span></div>\n<div><font>Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are \nfree of all fees. Acountry needs to have its dissenters just as much as its \nconformists. I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely more \nserious.</span></div>\n<div><font>I do not say that she is in love with you, orthat \nyou are in love with her. If Joseph hadnot married Elisa, would you be in the \nworld?",1] ); //--></script><div> <div bg="" style="color: rgb(255, 255, 255);"> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" ><img src="http://www.blogger.com/post-create.do" alt="" align="bottom" border="0" hspace="0" /></span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Vendeuvre is only one aspect of the question.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely more serious. The Simler looms hadbeen silent, for the first time since the War. With your cursed French law, there was no way of preventingthis.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Youmust begin by getting clear of it all.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Yes,yes, my dear boy, and the only force that exists, for the moment, inthe house of Simler.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >What she has to learn from you will take her a century. You will understand what I mean in a moment.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I have heard also of yourtaste for the violin.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >He added in an important tone: There is the whole history of modernsociety in my parable. There are some curious discoveries to be made there.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely more serious.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I dont even want to go into the country and sleep.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I shall be glad when you tell methat you bear me no ill will. Yes, let Benjamin say whether such behaviour was in the interest ofall parties concerned. Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are free of all fees.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >As formyself, what you have said interests me. And I tell you for the tenth time that Im miserably ill.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are free of all fees. Acountry needs to have its dissenters just as much as its conformists. I have to talk to you aboutsomething infinitely more serious.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >I do not say that she is in love with you, orthat you are in love with her. If Joseph hadnot married Elisa, would you be in the world?<script><!-- D(["mb","</span></div>\n<div><font>You will understand what I mean in a moment. \nMasters andworkers set the factory going again, with their tails between theirlegs. \nThese proposals did not appeal to her nature, I suppose?</span></div>\n<div><font>Did they come away from Buschendorf toserve their \ncountry, or to become corrupted in it? I believethat I have just delivered myself of \na parable.</span></div>\n<div><font>We shall find out some day, and many other things \natthe same time.</span></div>\n<div><font>Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are \nfree of all fees.</span></div>\n<div><font>On the employers side, or on the \nworkers?</span></div>\n<div><font>We shall find out some day, and many other things \natthe same time.</span></div>\n<div><font>The boy studied Benjamins rubicund face as he \nmastered the contentsof the strange document. Myfriend, when I saw that the house of \nStern was making its pile, I tookmy hook. Benjamin broke off his speech at this \npoint and darted a glance at hislistener. He added in an important tone: There is \nthe whole history of modernsociety in my parable.</span></div>\n<div><font>Louis said nothing, but took the document from Bens \nhands. Your catalogue of undesired delights onlymakes it worse.</span></div>\n<div><font>They have often mingled without amalgamating. It \nwas back there that you ought to have knownhim. </span></div></div>\n\n</div>",0] ); //--></script></span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >You will understand what I mean in a moment. Masters andworkers set the factory going again, with their tails between theirlegs. These proposals did not appeal to her nature, I suppose?</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Did they come away from Buschendorf toserve their country, or to become corrupted in it? I believethat I have just delivered myself of a parable.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >We shall find out some day, and many other things atthe same time.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Hartand may be reprinted only when these eBooks are free of all fees.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >On the employers side, or on the workers?</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >We shall find out some day, and many other things atthe same time.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >The boy studied Benjamins rubicund face as he mastered the contentsof the strange document. Myfriend, when I saw that the house of Stern was making its pile, I tookmy hook. Benjamin broke off his speech at this point and darted a glance at hislistener. He added in an important tone: There is the whole history of modernsociety in my parable.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >Louis said nothing, but took the document from Bens hands. Your catalogue of undesired delights onlymakes it worse.</span></div> <div><span style=";font-family:Arial;font-size:85%;" >They have often mingled without amalgamating. It was back there that you ought to have knownhim. </span></div></div> </div><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115755312610893350?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157480046248125852006-09-05T10:44:00.000-07:002006-09-05T11:20:28.170-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/al/nyyanks/bouton.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.sportsecyclopedia.com/al/nyyanks/bouton.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Former Yankees pitcher <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bouton">Jim Bouton</a> announced last week that he <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060825/ap_on_sp_ba_ne/bbo_vintage_base_ball">plans</a> to start an organization that will play by the rules of 1864 base ball. Normally, I would just file this under the tab marked "Don't We as a Society Have Anything Else to Worry About?" (ie, the same place I filed the story about thecarbon dating of King Tut).<br /><br />However, there are two unique angles to this story. First of all, Bouton is an MLB pariah, after authoring the first ever sports gossip book, the all-time classic <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Ball-Four-Jim-Bouton/dp/0020306652/sr=8-1/qid=1157478994/ref=pd_bbs_1/102-2400047-2216905?ie=UTF8&s=books"><span style="font-style: italic;">Ball Four</span></a>. Since its been nearly 40 years since the book's publication, perhaps cash is tight around the Bouton household. Rather than come out with a conventional sequel, I think Bouton is founding a <span style="font-style: italic;">whole new league</span> to trash with a tell-all book. If we see Bouton and Yogi Berra under the bleachers trying to look up some unsuspecting woman's hoop skirt, we'll know what's really going on.<br /><br />The other reason this event is worth noting: <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=P2Sv-elEuYA">right here</a>. You ass!<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115748004624812585?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1157126888022003592006-09-01T09:08:00.000-07:002006-09-02T14:37:06.000-07:00<b>Corky's Dryfire</b><br /><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/3kgdikuVQOU" width="425" height="350" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"><br />I don't know what to say. I didn't used to have qualms laughing at people like Corky from <em>Life Goes On</em>. In fact, I embraced my amusement. I was defiant even to those who dared to take the moral high road and judge me.<br /><br />At some point though, it dawned on me: retribution was coming. Someday soon I was going to have kids of my own. At my current karmic condition, I was headed for a life of passing out juice boxes as a parent volunteer on the short bus. Intimidated, I bit my tongue. No more unnecessary or mean jokes.<br /><br />Then I saw this clip. Oh well, at least I'll love my kid the same as I would any child.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115712688802200359?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156965268191169932006-08-30T10:26:00.000-07:002006-10-11T16:26:12.120-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.bengalsjersey.com/carsonpalmerjersey.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.bengalsjersey.com/carsonpalmerjersey.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>So let me first start off by saying that, even as a Steeler fan, I'm rooting for Carson Palmer to come back at full strength. It's not as much survivor <a href="http://www.nflrandr.com/blog/CPalmerB4Hit.jpg">guilt</a>, as it is empathy. With the Bengals and the Los Angeles Clippers now making playoff appearances, my Pirates have taken up the mantle of Worst Fucking Team in Professional Sports (WFTIPS from now on). When Palmer went down during that divisional playoff game, it wasn't hard to personalize. I could only imagine what it would be like to have the Buccos finally make the post-season, only to have Jason Bay tear his rotator cuff in the first inning of the first game. Cincinnati, some things really aren't fair.<br /><br />That said, I still think Mr. Palmer is a bit of a California pretty boy with a bitchy streak, and a weird pent-up <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06232/714831-66.stm">hatred </a>for my favorite team. Therefore, in the wake of his <a href="http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/football/nfl/recaps/2006/08/28/2288_recap.html">glorious </a>return to action Monday night, I feel the need to point something out. According to the Elias Sports Bureau, three QBs threw for three touchdowns in an NFL pre-season game last year:<br /><br />Donovan McNabb, Chris Simms and Bradlee Van Pelt. All I'm really saying is that if <a href="http://www.denverbroncos.com/page.php?id=498&contentID=2442">Bradlee Van Pelt</a> can do it, how hard can it be?<br /><br />Well, that and preseason games mean nothing, the Packers suck, and the Steelers still would have won that playoff game even if Carson Palmer's knee wasn't shredded like an Enron filing cabinet.<br /><br />Can you tell I'm bitter his comeback happened two days <span style="font-style: italic;">after</span> my fantasy draft?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115696526819116993?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156734434616745212006-08-27T20:07:00.000-07:002006-08-27T20:11:10.403-07:00<b>Right Now.</b><br /><object height="350" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://youtube.com/v/Tign09D5IgE"><embed src="http://youtube.com/v/Tign09D5IgE" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" height="350" width="425"></object><br />The theme for this week's post is innovation. Since I just figured out how to post virals directly into the blog, I thought I'd honor the occasion with a commercial for one of the greatest innovations of my lifetime. For those of you that disagree, I offer up my friend Greg's 10th birthday party. When listing the reasons why his party was going to kick ass, Greg said "we've got Crystal Clear Pepsi, four video games from Blockbuster and pizza." And when you're ten years old, anything that ranks ahead of not only four video games from Blockbuster but also pizza, clearly represents an innovation.<br /><br />If you're still not convinced, well, you didn't send me a video this week, so screw you. Your opinion doen't count.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115673443461674521?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156553395065273992006-08-25T17:35:00.000-07:002006-08-25T17:51:03.470-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://media3.steelers.com/MediaContent/2005/05/10/11/05_MC_Tuman_Jerame02_52987.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://media3.steelers.com/MediaContent/2005/05/10/11/05_MC_Tuman_Jerame02_52987.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />So during the off-season last year, a guy from Brentwood named Brian Jackson impersonated Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger in order to meet women. Apparently, a few of them bought the ruse for an extended period of time, because I remember some very pissed off ladies when his scam was revealed. What I find remarkable is that there were actually people in Pittsburgh who, in 2005, had no idea what <a href="http://www.2dorks.com/gallery/2006/bigben/bigben05.jpg">Ben Roethlisberger</a> looked like. No wonder these women were single.<br /><br />Well, despite undergoing pscyhological counseling, Mr. Jackson is at <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06237/716381-100.stm">again</a>. This time though, he wisely chose a lesser-known Steeler to impersonate, posing as perennial back-up tight end <a href="http://news.steelers.com/team/player/49224/">Jerame Tuman</a>. This time, the guy even got into what sounds like a pretty serious relationship with the woman. His "girlfriend" even agreed to loan him gobs of money on repeated occasions, proving just how far being a professional football player can carry you romantically in this town.<br /><br />On that note, if we're ever out at a bar together, my name is <a href="http://news.steelers.com/team/player/49182/">Sean Morey</a>.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115655339506527399?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156480759267468242006-08-24T20:35:00.000-07:002006-08-24T21:39:19.270-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport/furniture/in_depth/boxing/2001/blow_by_blow/mcmillan.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport/furniture/in_depth/boxing/2001/blow_by_blow/mcmillan.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br /><br />As reader of this blog know, I am a painfully loyal Pittsburgh Pirates fan. Not to revisit old <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/04/notes-from-underground.html">wounds</a>, but the Bucs haven't had a winning record since 1993. During the past thirteen-and-a-half seasons, there have been many, many times when I had an overhelming desire to punch a Pirates starting pitcher in the face. However, unlike Toronto Blue Jays manager <a href="http://toronto.bluejays.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/team/coach_staff_bio.jsp?c_id=tor&coachorstaffid=541021270">John Gibbons</a>, I wasn't A) Coaching the team and B) Actually going to follow through on my urge.<br /><br />The <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2556925">event </a>I'm referring to took place in the bottom of the third inning of Monday night's game between the Jays and the Oakland A's. During the frame, Toronto starter <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/players/profile?statsId=6223">Ted Lilly</a> allowed Oakland to score seven runs, cutting what had been an 8-0 Blue Jays lead to just a single run.<br /><br />Not surprisingly, Gibbons decided to summon a reliever from the bullpen. However, when he went out to get the ball from Lilly, Gibbons couldn't refrain from chewing out his starter. Lilly, in turn screamed back at Gibbons, even refusing to give him the ball (this despite the fact that he had just given up <span style="font-style: italic;">seven</span> runs). Lilly finally relented, but the player and coach continued to shout at each other in the dugout. Eventually, the argument moved to the locker room runway, where, from all reports, Gibbons initiated a physical confrontation.<br /><br />As an aside, the video (I'll keep checking YouTube for it) of the fistfight is pretty funny. You can't see either Gibbons or Lilly, but there is a great angle of all the players on the bench rushing inside to see what's going on. It's kind of like when there was a controversial play in the elementary school kickball game, and all of a sudden it got physical. Someone would yell "fight!" and before you knew it, the whole third grade was scurrying across the playground to get a better look.<br /><br />What's even better is that this isn't an isolated event for Gibbons. Last month, then Blue Jays third basemen Shea Hillenbrand <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/mlb/news/story?id=2525630">claimed </a>his manager challenged him to fight, even asking the infielder to punch him in the face. Although in Gibbons' defense, Hillenbrand had just gone off on a crazy tirade against the organization because it failed to congratulate him for the adoption of a new baby. Seriously, I couldn't make this stuff up.<br /><br />Gibbons still has a long way to go though, to be considered the craziest Blue Jays manager of all-time. Right now, that title belongs to former skipper <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Johnson_%28baseball%29">Tim Johnson</a>, who used to fire up his team with battle stories from his days as a Marine in the Vietnam War. Shortly before the 1999 season, it was revealed that Johnson spent the entire conflict in the United States, never seeing a day of combat. The team offered him a chance to resign. He refused and was promptly fired. Maybe it's something in the water up there.<br /><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115648075926746824?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156185020822865732006-08-21T10:45:00.000-07:002006-08-21T20:42:09.356-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.edrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/jamesfrey.gif"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.edrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/04/jamesfrey.gif" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I don't blame you if you've never heard of James Frey. I'm kind of ashamed that I have, actually. For the fortunately unaware, Frey is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0307276902/sr=8-1/qid=1156182154/ref=pd_bbs_1/002-7855967-4358453?ie=UTF8"><span style="font-style: italic;">A Million Little Pieces</span></a>, a supposed biography chronicling the writer's struggles with alcohol and drug addiction. In September of 2005, Oprah Winfrey selected the memoir for her book club, causing sales to skyrocket. Unfortunately for Frey, The Smoking Gun released a <a href="http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0104061jamesfrey1.html">report</a> this January, claiming that he fabricated many parts of his supposedly true story.<br /><br />Initially, Frey vehemently denied the charges. However, later that month he appeared on <span style="font-style: italic;">Oprah</span>, where, after being bitch-slapped by the host, he confessed to making up parts of his story. Part of Frey's justification: the heightened drama from the fictional passages was the only way any publisher would take a chance on the book. He also said some pretty weird stuff about how the same "demons" that drove him to drugs and alcohol had caused him to lie.<br /><br />Why is this important? Well, <a href="http://deadspin.com/">Deadspin </a>is doing an NFL preview feature where one literary fan of each team tells the world "Why My NFL Team is Better than Your NFL Team." The choice to write the article on the Cleveland Browns? You guessed, James Frey.<br /><br />The <a href="http://www.deadspin.com/sports/nfl/nfl-season-preview-cleveland-browns-195509.php">piece </a>is fairly well written, albeit about pretty standard Cleveland fan stuff (lots of moaning about having never seen a championship). However, at the end of the first paragraph, Frey drops this doozy on the reader:<br /><br /><span style="font-size:85%;">"Before they left for Baltimore in 1995 (Fuck you Art Modell), they had been rebuilding for several years. In typical Cleveland fashion, that team won the Super Bowl ... as the Ravens two years after they left."</span><br /><br />Seems like a pretty logical complaint for a Browns fan, right? Except, the Baltimore Ravens didn't win the <a href="http://www.superbowl.com/history/recaps">Super Bowl</a> in 1997. The Denver Broncos did. The Ravens didn't even win the Super Bowl in 1998. The Denver Broncos did, again. In fact, the Ravens didn't win a championship until the 2000-01 season, their <span style="font-style: italic;">fifth</span> year in Baltimore. Hmmm. Exaggerating a point to add drama. Still can't shake those "demons," can you Jimmy?<br /><em></em><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115618502082286573?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156127196584263912006-08-20T18:56:00.000-07:002006-08-21T09:30:29.246-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.worldcup2006facts.com/zidane.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.worldcup2006facts.com/zidane.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />We owe a very big thanks to Matt Karasic this week, for sending us what can only be described as a cutting edge and potentially headline-making video. Given the media circus surrounding Zinedine Zidane's <a href="http://www.longmontfyi.com/Assets/newspics/071106s4a.jpg">headbutt </a>of Marco Mazeratti in the World Cup final, we find it remarkable that this underground <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H7K5yMa3NQ&mode=related&amp;search=">footage </a>of a French national soccer team training drill didn't get more coverage. Someone call FIFA.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115612719658426391?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1156031284844346442006-08-19T15:53:00.000-07:002006-08-20T19:47:58.230-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.usoc.org/0-lebron-james-in-USA.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://www.usoc.org/0-lebron-james-in-USA.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Once upon a time, it was free to surf the internet. Well, you still had to buy a modem and pay a service provider, but most sites, at least those without naked people were didn't cost any extra money.<br /><br />With the number of people who have access to the internet increasing, more and more domains are beginning to charge users for content on their site. One of the worst offenders, unfortunately for me, is ESPN.com. It used to be the worldwide leader would only offer the occasional feature like "Mel Kiper's Big Mock Draft Board" and "Rob Neyer's 50 Greatest Post-Season Pitching Performances" to insiders. However, these days you can't read certain columnists or any archived stories unless you shell out the $39.95 per year it takes to be an ESPN Insider. Admittedly, it's not that pricy, except that the bill always seems to expire right after I've done something like just forked out first and last month's rent and a security deposit.<br /><br />That said, I have to wonder sometimes why ESPN considers certain articles premium content. Take Chris Sheridan's most recent <a href="http://insider.espn.go.com/nba/insider/columns/story?columnist=sheridan_chris&id=2553368&amp;action=upsell&appRedirect=http%3a%2f%2finsider.espn.go.com%2fnba%2finsider%2fcolumns%2fstory%3fcolumnist%3dsheridan_chris%26id%3d2553368">column</a>, for example (sorry, only ESPN Insiders can follow the link). In it, Sheridan offers ten reasons why the United States, despite a strong exhibition showing, is not going to win the World Basketball Championships later this month. Except, Sheridan could really only think of 8 reasons. So instead of just going with a potentially awkward number in his story, Sheridan chooses to proffer these as legitimate reasons why Team USA will come up short:<br /><span style=";font-family:times new roman;font-size:85%;" ><br />"8. The food factor. If you don't like Japanese food, you can subsist over here on American fast food. But try eating that stuff for three weeks, and watch your energy level plummet in inverse proportion to your climbing cholesterol count.<br /><br />9. The smell factor. This is a little disgusting, but it's true: Some of these teams stink, literally. Players on international teams travel to and from the arenas in their uniforms, and many players forsake showers as a result. I got a really close look at Argentina during the Worlds in Indianapolis, and I do not believe Fabricio Oberto, Luis Scola or Andres Nocioni bathed during the entire tournament. BO may be repulsive, but it also keeps defenders a few extra inches away."</span><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">That</span>, is cutting edge analysis.<br /><br />Also, this is just one in a series of articles by Sheridan about USA Basketball's shortcomings. The guy is essentially staking his reputation on the Americans losing in Japan. If the Stars and Stripes have a lead late in the gold medal game, I fully expect Sheridan to pop out of the stands and start mowing down players like Damon Wayans in <span style="font-style: italic;"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Last_Boy_Scout">The Last Boy Scout</a>.</span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115603128484434644?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1155782264719270962006-08-16T19:27:00.000-07:002006-08-16T19:42:22.443-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/1600/ben.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/200/ben.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />The <a href="http://northoforbes.blogspot.com/2006/07/i-wonder-if-spike-jonze-is-directing.html">aformentioned </a>Ben Roethlisberger-in-a-yinzer-country-music-video has been released, and is available <a href="http://www.rustrecords.com/media/_video/pnh/">here</a>.<br /><br />Be careful though. I just tried to click on the link, and got this message:<br /><h1>Bandwidth Limit Exceeded</h1><br />The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to the site owner reaching his/her bandwidth limit. Please try again later. <hr /> <address>Apache/1.3.36 Server at www.rustrecords.com Port 80</address><br />Pittsburgh: a mecca of highbrow culture.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115578226471927096?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1155616621724161052006-08-14T21:34:00.001-07:002006-08-15T11:24:02.910-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060807/060807_malkin_vmed_10p.widec.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://msnbcmedia.msn.com/j/msnbc/Components/Photos/060807/060807_malkin_vmed_10p.widec.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>About the only thing anyone can agree on about Evgeni Malkin these days, is that the Pengiuns prospect is the best hockey player not currently in the NHL. Emphasis on the word currently. Since the end of the regular season, the Pens have been furiously trying to sign the second-overall pick in the 2004 entry draft to a professional contract. I don't think there's enough room on Blogger's server for me to detail all the twists and turns the process has taken, but let's just say it involves: handshake deals, broken contracts, Malkin's Russian League team Metallurg Magnitogorsk, (which surprisingly is <span style="font-style: italic;">not</span> lifted from a Roger Moore thriller), possible Mafia influences, about 800 <a href="http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/06107/682749-61.stm">quotes </a>in the American news <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06227/713590-61.stm">media </a>that you can't read without hearing a goofy Eastern European accent, and Malkin finally <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06225/713218-61.stm">fleeing </a>his homeland like the Golem in Michael Chabon's <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0679450041/sr=8-2/qid=1155614775/ref=pd_bbs_2/102-4038823-5073751?ie=UTF8"><span style="font-style: italic;">The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay</span></a>.<br /><br />Yet, perhaps the most bizarre, and wonderful aspect, of this story is that Malkin recently <a href="http://www.mosnews.com/news/2006/08/10/malkin.shtml">opened </a>a restaurant in his home country themed after the comforts of a Russian jail. I'm no dining critic, but the attention to detail sounds phenomenal:<br /><span style="font-size:85%;"><br />"Barred windows and ceiling, lamps designed as police flashlights, barbed wire and excerpts from the Russian Penal Code are significant parts of the interior design...You can have a seat on a plank-bed (there are comfortable chairs for the more delicate) and eat your food with an aluminum fork."</span><br /><br />It's been a while since we've had an insane superstar in Pittsburgh (oh Jaromir), and I for one think the town is ready. Sure, Big Ben does some stupid stuff, but it falls more into the category of shitfaced-yinzer-fratboy, ie, stuff you see any weekend night on Carson Street. A jail themed restaurant? That's the brilliant kind of crazy. I only hope Malkin's on-ice wizardy matches his off-ice entrepreneurial skills. Man, the kid can't get here soon enough.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115561662172416105?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1155499570631029982006-08-13T12:12:00.000-07:002006-08-13T13:08:40.366-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.spirit-of-cardiff.com/journal/channel3.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px;" src="http://www.spirit-of-cardiff.com/journal/channel3.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Slightly delayed post this week, but the new apartment wasn't rigged up for cable until late this Saturday. I hope all six of you that actually follow this thing will forgive me.<br /><br />With props to Jessica Cicchino, the first person to email a video suggestion to northoforbes@gmail.com, the theme of this week's edition is the local news. Growing up, I used to think the heavy-handedness and amateurish tint of the nightly news broadcasts were unique to my hometown market. However, as these videos indicate the above characteristics were in no way unique to the 'Burgh.<br /><br />The first <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ryBd0Er5Jo">video</a>, ostensibly, is seeking to unveil the dangers of leaving your bicycle unattended, read: how easy it is to pick a bike lock. First of all, what a cutting edge idea for a story. I'd love to know what other investigative reports were left on the floor when they decided to pursue this angle. I'm curious to know if the woman who spazzes out is upset because she thinks this report is actually of vital importance to the public, or if she's just so depressed that this is the direction her career's gone, that she ends up flipping her lid. If the latter is the case, I just picture her screaming at her producer later on, "I went to NORTHWESTERN! I don't have to take this! I'm a real journalist! I'm a real journalist!"<br /><br />Since were on the subject of local news, I've been looking for an excuse to post this <a href="http://www.wkyc.com/video/player.aspx?aid=23446&sid=52623&amp;bw=hi&cat=2">video </a>from <a href="http://www.deadspin.com">Deadspin </a>for a couple weeks now. I have three comments on the clip: Carl Monday is a supreme fucktard, I'm thinking of going as Mike Cooper for halloween, and the father may be the most sympathetic person ever captured on video. There's also a follow-up report that can be found <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=V-2g23WJzQM">here</a>.<span style="text-decoration: underline;"></span><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115549957063102998?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1155060477194036502006-08-08T10:20:00.000-07:002006-08-08T11:09:10.456-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://images.radcity.net/5583/896050.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://images.radcity.net/5583/896050.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Going to college in the New York area, I was subjected to watching my fair share of baseball games on the YES Network (an entire channel owned by and devoted strictly to the New York Yankees). Perhaps the worst part of watching a game on YES was the stable of broadcasters, who always managed to display not only blatant homerism, but also disdain and disgust at even the slightest thing un-Yankee. The worst offender by far was Michael Kay, who's emphatic home-run call of <span style="font-style: italic;">"SeeYA!</span>" made me want to go lie down in traffic on the BQE every time.<br /><br />Anyway, the folks at <a href="http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/">FireJoeMorgan</a> uncovered this delicious little <a href="http://firejoemorgan.com/MichaelKay1.wma">soundbyte </a>from the Michael Kay Radio Show. In one three-minute span, the host manages to piss-off both Jews and African-Americans, all in the name of defending his decision to point-out on the air that Chien-Ming Wang had a perfect game in the sixth-inning. Wang lost the perfect game shortly thereafter, leading a bunch of irate Yankee fans like Jimmy from Queens (whom Kay can be heard berating at the beginning of the clip) to call in and complain that Kay jinxed Wang. Personally, I think the soundbyte is the perfect auditory example of a grown man "getting his panties in a bunch." And yes, I am suggesting that Michael Kay may in fact wear women's underwear.<br /><br />It gets even better though. The show's official website displays a <a href="http://www.1050espnradio.com/showdj.asp?DJID=11585">survey </a>where Kay among other things claims "he doesn't root for any teams" and that "the Olympics are everything that's wrong with the world today." However, my favorite section is Kay's top-5 wishes, where he ranks "Jennifer Anniston" and "incredible wealth" above "health for my family." What a guy.<br /><a href="http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/"></a><div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115506047719403650?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1154705983922132132006-08-04T08:24:00.000-07:002006-08-13T20:24:24.753-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/7121/koharski386243io.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 200px;" src="http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/7121/koharski386243io.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />I have a thing for Defcon 4 sports meltdowns. While this week's <a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=PVB-NO8MHg4">clip</a> from the 1988 Wales Conference Finals doesn't possess the oultandishness of Bobby Knight, or the absurdity of the minor league manager from a couple weeks ago, I'm linking it for a few reasons. First of all, it's newsreel footage from almost 20 years ago, which gives the whole scene a Zapruder-like, important-piece-of-history aura. Secondly, the berated referee is Don Koharski, an ass-clown with a noted dislike for Mario Lemieux (which, if I'm not mistaken, breaks the 11th commandment). Finally, Devils coach Jim Schoenfeld is so damn Canadian it hurts. There's the accent of course, but also, how about the fact that his final barb tossed at Koharski is "You fat Pig! Have another doughnut!" Ouch Jim, ouch.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115470598392213213?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1154115236624837192006-07-28T12:14:00.000-07:002006-07-28T21:38:31.076-07:00From now on, every Friday afternoon, I'm posting my personal favorite YouTube clip. I'm open to suggestions, so if you have one to share send it along to northoforbes@gmail.com. It Doesn't have to be new or even that rare, just something you think I'd wanna watch. Cliched idea. Perhaps, but it's my blog so don't click the link if the idea bores you.<br /><br />Props to Phil for pointing this <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VCWJVvE0Fk">week's </a> clip out to me.<br /><br />Also, two things to chew on:<br /><br />Did anyone suspect in the fall of 1999, upon the release of the "Drive me Crazy" music video, that <a href="http://www.hbo.com/entourage/cast/actor/adrian_grenier.html">this</a> co-stars career would ever surpass <a href="http://www.thesuperficial.com/2006/05/22/britney_spears_has_a_breakdown.html">this</a> one's? What's even more funny is that it took me almost 10 minutes to decide which picture depicting Britney as a complete mess to use in the previous link. One link, so many choices.<br /><br />In addition, I was in traffic last night behind an SUV with the license plate "DMB LVR." Yes, I know, I was a big DMB fan at one point in my life, but that was oh, I don't know, 1999. It's moments like that that make me wish I'd put down the extra $35 for a camera phone.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115411523662483719?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1153922005266741222006-07-26T06:19:00.000-07:002006-08-16T19:47:03.540-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/1600/smize.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/320/smize.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a>I realize I could probably write a bi-weekly post criticizing the work of Pittsburgh Post-Gazette Sports Columnist Bob Smizik. As one former colleague of his said, Smize is excellent at "taking passionate positions on issues he doesn't really care about." Actually though, his most recent offense doesn't exactly take on the overtly negative, glass-is-half-empty, lecturing tone that most of his writing exudes. That said, it's still pretty close. In today's paper, Smizik has a <a href="http://postgazette.com/pg/06207/708552-194.stm">column</a> where he devotes 1/3 of his space to re-hashing all the close calls that went the Steelers way in Super Bowl XL. Smize then goes on to make the brilliant point, that, shockingly, had one of these decisions been reversed, the Steelers might not have won the game! The Super Bowl happened more than six months ago, and the game's officiating was one of the bigger stories of the NFL off-season. I just find it insanely lazy and flat-out stupid to write a column that includes paragraph long descriptions of each of the questionable plays. Adding to the irony is the fact that in the sports section of the Post-Gazette's online edition is a poll asking readers how many times they are going to Latrobe to watch Steelers training camp. The options: A) 1-2 B) 3-5 C) More than 5. "Not at all" isn't even an option. Do these sound like the kind of readers that need any <span style="font-style: italic;">second</span> of the Super Bowl re-hashed?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115392200526674122?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1153513279822764352006-07-21T11:49:00.000-07:002006-07-21T13:24:18.350-07:00<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/1600/povertyneck-hillbillies.0.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/1727/1179/320/povertyneck-hillbillies.0.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />I know this is sort of aping a post from another blog, but Deadpsin's <a href="http://www.deadspin.com/sports/nfl/ben-roethlisberger-pure-country-189000.php">take</a> on the Povertyneck Hillbillies/Ben Roethlisberger music video is worth a look. Perhaps it's more a reflection on me that, after living in Pittsburgh full-time for over a year now, I don't bat an eye when I hear the words "local band" and "Povertyneck Hillbillies" in the same sentence. Upon reflection, I'm not so much horrified at the band's name, but rather, more confused as to what it actually means. I think they just kind of picked three words with the connotations "blue-collar" "cowboy hats" "good Americans" and "cheap beer" and decided to toss them together to form some sort of name that relies more on word association than actual syntax. The Deadspin post also points out the juicy detail that the Povertyneck Hillbillies are the official band of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Wow. We're talking about the Super Bowl Champions and one of the more popular teams in the world here. What a reflection on the local music scene. Somewhere, Manny Theiner is reading that and wondering where all his dreams went wrong. (Free cookie to the first person who gets that reference). I also find the comments section tremendous, particularly the exchange between the former Pitt student, and the guy who thinks he went to college in Oakland, Cali.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115351327982276435?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1153342942962221802006-07-19T13:41:00.001-07:002006-07-19T14:15:14.306-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.newyorkislanders.com/pressbox/images/kyi_snow1.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px;" src="http://www.newyorkislanders.com/pressbox/images/kyi_snow1.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br />Bringing back the blog from the land of the dead.<br /><br />First of all, this story out of Long Island yesterday is unbelievable. The Islanders fired General Manager Neil Smith, architect of the 1994 Stanley Cup Champion New York Rangers, and <a href="http://www.sportsnet.ca/hockey/article.jsp?content=20060718_144020_1280">replaced him with</a> former back-up goaltender Garth Snow. Now, current Carolina Hurricanes GM <a href="http://www.carolinahurricanes.com/custom/radA2BE5.asp">Jim Rutherford</a> is a former back-up goaltender too. It's just, he played almost 30 years ago, retired in the 80s and spent the last two decades working his way up the hockey ladder. Garth Snow on the other hand, was a back-up goalie LAST SEASON. And a crappy one at that. The brains behind all of this is Islanders owner Charles Wang, whose justification for the whole situation can (and trust me, should) be heard <a href="http://www.wfan.com/">here</a>. While Isle's fans are no doubt pulling their hair out this morning and calling Wang a mad man, I choose to think of him as a pioneer. From now on, if a franchise goes more than a decade without winning a playoff series, it should become a sports-wide by-law that the team's worst player becomes General Manager. Can you say Humberto Cota Pirates fans?<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-115334294296222180?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1145971297497426312006-04-25T06:12:00.000-07:002006-04-25T06:21:37.496-07:00Sidney Crosby:<br />Goals: 39<br />Assists: 63<br /><a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=_cnVCFYZSjk&search=sidney%20crosby%20%2B%20gatorade%20commercial">Sweet Gatorade Commercials</a>: 1<br /><br />Alexander Ovechkin:<br />Goals: 52<br />Assists: 54<br />Sweet Gatorade Commercials: 0<br /><br />The choice is obvious.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-114597129749742631?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1145369952798019572006-04-18T06:21:00.000-07:002006-04-18T10:40:49.160-07:00People who offer insanely one-sided trades in fantasy leagues. I clicked on my Yahoo fantasy baseball roster this morning, to find that I'd been offered a trade by a team named "K-Dro." First bad sign right there. I'm assuming the kids a Mets fan and the "Dro" part refers to Perdo Martinez. Anyone who thinks that the first initial, combined with part of last name is somehow, relevant, witty or clever needs to be shot. Twice. In the head. What is this, 2001? <br /><br />Anyway, the trade he offered was Jeff Kent, Brad Penny and Chris Reitsma to me for Vladimir Guerrero and Rich Harden. Wow. For those of you that don't know, Corky from <span style="font-style:italic;">Life Goes On</span> wouldn't make that trade. "I'll give you two mediocre pitchers, and an over-the-hill "slugger" who just got got a concussion from being hit in the head on Sunday. You can give me arguably the best young pitcher in the AL, and Peter Gammons's pick to win the Cy Young. Oh, and you can also give me one of the top five fantasy hitters as a throw-in."<br /><br />I'm sure this guy actually knows something about baseball, so more than likely he was trying to hose me out of my best players. How is that fair? You had a shitty draft, and now you're trying to compensate for it by screwing the rest of the league? Seriously, what does that accomplish. If you win the league this way, do you plan on bragging to your friends? <br /><br />I've been in too many leagues where one guy makes a ton of ridiculous trades with people in the league who don't really care, then watches in mock amazement as his team shoots to the top of the league. Garbage.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-114536995279801957?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1144788203971798392006-04-11T13:42:00.000-07:002006-04-11T13:43:23.986-07:00But <a href="http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8547285560243429315&q=RBI+baseball&pl=true">this</a> might be the greatest thing I've ever seen.<div class="blogger-post-footer"><img width='1' height='1' src='https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/tracker/11449087-114478820397179839?l=northoforbes.blogspot.com' alt='' /></div>Andynoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11449087.post-1144209155675701472006-04-04T19:49:00.000-07:002006-04-18T12:39:32.793-07:00Mark it down. On April 4, 2006 at 10:26 pm Brewers scrub pinch-hitter Gabe Gross hit a 420 foot home-run off of Ryan Vogelsong to put Milwaukee ahead 6-2. That is now the exact time at which I officially became jaded about the Pirates 2006 season. To clarify further, that's during the bottom of the sixth inning of the second game of the season. For those of you that aren't into baseball, it's a 162 game schedule and usually it takes longer than 36 hours into a season for you to start dreading the impending. That's not the case for Pirates fans.<br /><br />You see, the Pirates have had a losing record every year since 1992. That's not a typo. I'll write it again just to clarify. 1992. I'll even put it in italics <span style="font-style:italic;">1992</span>. And just in case you were wondering what it feels like to root for a team on the verge of setting a record for baseball futility, here are a couple anecdotes...<br /><br />Last month Zavo and I went out to a local bar. Seated at the table next to us were a man and a woman, who appeared to be on some sort of awkward date. The guy, well-groomed and in his late twenties, sat far back in his chair and avoided eye contact the entire time. Save for an occasional nod or grunt, he was totally silent. Cautiously munching chicken wings, he kept looking around the room as though he were scared someone he knew might walk in and see him. Considering his company, I could sympathize.<br /><br />The woman (who I'll refer to as Alice Yinzer or A. Yinzer for short) was squat and rotund, and shaped like the windmill at a miniature golf course. She doused herself in metallic blue eye shadow chain smoke Camel cigarettes and struck me as the kind of woman that would throw Brett Michaels her panties at a Poison reunion concert. And that voice. If the rest of the bar was a 6, A. Yinzer was at an 11, screeching on and on about her "grandmum who used to compete in beauty pageants dahn in blawnox" her love of "hambarghers with spicy brahn mustard" and then, out of nowhere, her job "as vice president of communications for the Pittsburgh Pirates."<br /><br />Let's just say I choked on my New Castle when I heard that one. My favorite sports team in the world <span style="font-style:italic;">employed </span> this woman??? In a high-ranking capacity??? Holy shit this was huge. Suddenly, 14 straight losing seasons all made sense. If A. Yinzer could hold a position with a major league baseball team, well then, should at come as any surprise that the team hasn't had a winning record since 1992.<br /><br />Incredulous about this revelation, Zavo and I to come up with the below list of things that have happened since the last time the Pirates finished above .500 It's pretty sad, really:<br /><br />1) The Diamondbacks (who have won a World Series), Devil Rays, Rockies and Marlins (who have won 2 World Series')<br />2) The Clinton Administration<br />3) Peace in Ireland<br />4) Zavo's sister, who's in fifth grade<br />5) The Czech Republic<br />6) Brett Favre's first season with the Packers<br />7) The Atkins Diet<br />8) DVDs<br />9) Must See TV (including the entire run of <span style="font-style:italic;">Friends</span>)<br />10)Grunge<br />11)The internet<br /><br />There are more, like the birth of about half of the NHL franchises, but I think you get the idea.<br /><br />In terms of actual baseball, nothing exemplifies the putrid play of the Pirates quite like their record in home openers. From age 7 in 1990 until 2001 when I graduated from high school, my dad and I loyally attended every home opener. During this time period, the Pirates went 2-10 including losing their last eight in a row. With the help of baseball-reference.com, here are the scores from these 12 years along with my personal memories of the game.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 13, 1990. Cubs 2, Pirates 0</span>: I have virtually no memory of this game. This was the season I became a baseball fan, but I wasn't quite there yet. However, this WAS the game where the college kids behind us were getting pelted with debris from fans in the above deck and I overheard one of them mutter "I'm getting hit with shit. Let's go up and beat the shit out of them." Clearly when you're in first grade, hearing two curse words in one sentence, is way more memorable than ANY baseball game. FINAL RECORD: 95-67, Lost in NLCS.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 8, 1991: Expos 7, Pirates 0</span>: There was a big celebration of last year's division title run to open the game, then the team went out and geot pulverized by the Expos. Cold and wet night, memorable only because dad and I missed the Pirates only hit of the game (a Barry Bonds single off of Dennis Martinez) as we were in the process of moving to closer seats as per my insistence. Sorry dad, I was 8. FINAL RECORD: 98-64, Lost in NLCS.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 6, 1992: Pirates 2, Expos 0</span>: Doug Drabek pitched a gem, and the Pirates finally scored some runs in the opener to scratch out the win. Although, maybe if Drabek hadn't gone a complete game in this one, he might have a little more juice for the ninth inning of game 7 of the NLCS. If you don't know what I'm talking about, and you like stories with no moral where the bad guy wins, go look it up. Not that I'm bitter or anything. FINAL RECORD: 96-66, Lost in NLCS.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 6, 1993: Pirates 9, Padres 4</span>. In the previous off-season, the Pirates let virtually every big name player on their roster walk away in free-agency. The three-time Eastern Division champions were planning to rebuild and return to glory quickly around three "stud" prospects: Kevin Young, Al Martin and Carlos Garcia. Who you ask? Exactly. Young homered in the win, teasing all fans with the promise of young power hitter. However, he ended up hitting just five more home runs that season and, as would become a running theme with Pirates top prospects, was cut by the team a few seasons later. In a fascinating turn of events, Young came back to the Pirates in 1997 as a non-roster invitee and made the team out of spring training. He then proceeded to develop into a decent hitter, averaging close to 25 HRs and 100 RBIs for the next two and a half years. To prove their economic viability, the Pirates rewarded him with a lavish 4 year $24 million contract, the richest in club history at that point. I think the day the contract was signed, Young's knees began to give out, and he instantly became a .230 10 HRs a year guy, who couldn't bend over to pick up a ball at first base. The kind of player who's big contract absolutely KILLS a small market franchise. What does this have to do with opening day you ask? Nothing really, but when a guy manages to kill the direction of a franchise twice in a decade, I think he deserves his own paragraph. FINAL RECORD: 75-87, 5th in NL East.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 8, 1994: Rockies 7, Pirates 3</span>: One of the saving graces of the Pirates 1993 season was that the National League added two expansion teams, the Rockies and Marlins, that helped to pad the Buccos win total. Unfortunately, the Rockies were a wealthy team that actually spent money on free agents, and by opening day 1994 had already passed the idling Pirates talent level. Looking at the rosters, that may not actually have been the case. But as an 11 year-old, that's how it felt on opening day. FINAL RECORD: 53-61, 3rd in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 26, 1995: Expos 6, Pirates 2</span>: Wow. Now this one was memorable. I would venture Pirates fans were some of the most bitter people about the players strike that wiped out the end of the 1994 season and canceled the World Series. Not only did we miss out on half a season of baseball, but the work stoppage did absolutely nothing to improve the plight of small market fans. And to top it all off, our team stunk and was in danger of leaving Pittsburgh. All of these emotions came bubbling over when in the top of the fifth inning, the Pirates committed an unheard of three fielding errors on the same play. In some half-assed attempt to apologize or appease fans, ownership had given away Pirate "flags" to everyone in attendence. When the dust cleared on the fielding debacle, the entire crowd, as if possessed by a higher being, rose as one and proceeded to litter the diamond with the giveaways. It was a biblical proportions rain of Pirate flags. I think everyone's only regret was that it didn't lead to a Pirates forfeit. FINAL RECORD: 58-86, 5th in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 8, 1996: Phillies 6, Pirates 3</span>: The first opener of the Kevin McClatchy ownership era. I remember my dad being overjoyed to find that they were now giving away pencils with the scorecards, as opposed to charging $1.00 for some the crappiest writing instruments known to man. Seriously, whatever Jefferson drafted the Declaration of Independence with was better than those pencils. This was also the debut of Charlie Hayes, the first in a long-line of middling, mediocre or over-the-hill free-agents the Pirates would sign over the next ten years. The pattern with these signings always goes something like this: Because it's the "small market" Pirates everyone gets super-excited and over inflates the value of said player. Said player plays OK (except for Derek ".125" Bell, although he got Cam Bonifay fired so he gets a pass in my book), but does very little to improve the team, and invariably is traded by July 31 for middling, mediocre or over-the-hill prospects. Anyway, I remember Hayes pulling and 0-for and fouling out to third to kill a late inning rally. Pretty typical ho-hum Pirates loss, somewhat notable for being Jim Leyland's last opener as Pirates manager. FINAL RECORD: 73-89, 5th in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 11, 1997: Dodgers 7, Pirates 1</span>: Easily the best season during the 13 losing seasons, as a team that was a lock to lose 100 games remained in playoff contention until the final week of the season. Of course the Pirates still finished under .500 and got creamed in their home opener, perhaps moving the latter past taxes and just behind death on the list of certainties in life. FINAL RECORD: 79-83, 2nd in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 7, 1998: Braves 11, Pirates 3</span>: One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Braves lead-off hitter Andruw Jones chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" prospect Freddy Garcia. Garcia air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Francisco Cordova?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Chipper Jones. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone came to bat it was 3-0 Braves. Jones hit another moonshot later in the game and Atlanta cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 6th in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 5, 1999: Expos 9, Pirates 2</span>: (I shit you not that what follows is not embellished in the slightest.) One of the most ominous beginnings ever to a home schedule. Expos lead-off hitter F.P. Santangelo (?) chopped a ball to new starting third baseman and "big-time" free-agent signee Ed Sprague. Sprague air mailed the throw to first and into about the second deck, for a two-base error. Rattled, the Pirates starter (Jason Schmidt?) walked the next hitter, then gave up an absolute bomb to Vladimir Guerrero. Before the Pirates recorded an out, let alone come to bat it was 3-0 Expos. Guerrero hit another moonshot later in the game and Montreal cruised to an easy win. FINAL RECORD: 78-83, 3rd in NL Central<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 4, 2000 Astros 5, Pirates 2</span>: The season was scheduled to open the night before to a sell-out crowd. However, the game was rained out, and about a quarter of the people showed up the next night. The weather was so blistering cold, and the attendance so meek, at some point the Pirates decided to give away hot chocolate. I remember doing my best to maneuver the flimsy dixie cup of hot brown water, as my fingers twitched in the frigid air, sending some of the boiling liquid over the sides. Yet the frost bite and third degree burns weren't the most painful part of the evening. <br /><br />Miraculously, the Pirates escaped the top of the first without giving up a run. Heading into the sixth, they were down only 1-0, and in danger of making it a game. However in that inning, starter Jason Schmidt single-handedly changed that possibility. Schmidt walked the bases loaded (a horrible thing to watch no matter what the circumstances, but absolutely interminable when the temperature's below freezing) then gave up a grand-slam to Richard Hidalgo. Seriously, the Hidalgo home-run may have been the most predictable thing to ever happen in a sporting event. Or at least since Vladimir Guererro's home run in the first inning the previous year. I'm proud to say that despite the weather we stayed until the last out. Notable because it was the last home opener at Three Rivers Stadium. FINAL RECORD: 69-93, 5th in NL Central.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">April 9, 2001: Reds 8, Pirates 2</span>: This was a game that honestly made you question whether or not there were some supernatural forces behind the Pirates futility. On the morning the team opened PNC Park, Willie Stargell, the Pirate's greatest living player, whom the team was unveiling a statue of that day, died of kidney failure. Even though reviews of the new ballpark were exceptional, the play on the field wasn't. Sean Casey picked up where Vladimir Guerrero left off and hit a two-run homer in the bottom of the first inning. The Pirates never really recovered, and made several errors late in the game helping the Reds blow it open. <br /><br />Also, this was the quintessential "amateur afternoon" game as my father and I have come to dub openers. Given the number of non-baseball fans in attendance at these things, you often see some particularly ridiculous behavior. Given that this was the first game ever at PNC Park, the amateur factor was through the roof. Sure enough, midway through the game, a woman on the deck below us, leaned against the guard rail, turned AWAY from t