Evgeni Malkin is Probably Crazy (But in a Good Way)

About the only thing anyone can agree on about Evgeni Malkin these days, is that the Pengiuns prospect is the best hockey player not currently in the NHL. Emphasis on the word currently. Since the end of the regular season, the Pens have been furiously trying to sign the second-overall pick in the 2004 entry draft to a professional contract. I don't think there's enough room on Blogger's server for me to detail all the twists and turns the process has taken, but let's just say it involves: handshake deals, broken contracts, Malkin's Russian League team Metallurg Magnitogorsk, (which surprisingly is not lifted from a Roger Moore thriller), possible Mafia influences, about 800 quotes in the American news media that you can't read without hearing a goofy Eastern European accent, and Malkin finally fleeing his homeland like the Golem in Michael Chabon's The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Klay.

Yet, perhaps the most bizarre, and wonderful aspect, of this story is that Malkin recently opened a restaurant in his home country themed after the comforts of a Russian jail. I'm no dining critic, but the attention to detail sounds phenomenal:

"Barred windows and ceiling, lamps designed as police flashlights, barbed wire and excerpts from the Russian Penal Code are significant parts of the interior design...You can have a seat on a plank-bed (there are comfortable chairs for the more delicate) and eat your food with an aluminum fork."

It's been a while since we've had an insane superstar in Pittsburgh (oh Jaromir), and I for one think the town is ready. Sure, Big Ben does some stupid stuff, but it falls more into the category of shitfaced-yinzer-fratboy, ie, stuff you see any weekend night on Carson Street. A jail themed restaurant? That's the brilliant kind of crazy. I only hope Malkin's on-ice wizardy matches his off-ice entrepreneurial skills. Man, the kid can't get here soon enough.