Reinforcing Russian Stereotypes

As Evgeni Malkin continues to take the NHL by storm in his rookie season, I find myself forgetting from time-to-time what a struggle it was for the Penguins to bring him to the U.S. Well, Malkin's old team in Russia hasn't forgotten, and as Yahoo! Sports' Josh Peter reports, boy are they pissed.

While there is little to no chance Metallurg Magnitogorsk will emerge victorious from these court proceedings, you have to admire the pluck of the team's general manager, Gennady Velichkin, who is doing everything he personally can to let the sporting world know he is incredibly damn Russian. When asked to comment on the case, Velichkin set down his Dostoevsky novel, took a bite of kavier and poured himself a slow shot of vodka before retorting

"The Americans' arrogance is beyond any bounds. This is the theft of the century. They don't care that Malkin is Russia's national treasure. We must sue not only Pittsburgh but the entire National Hockey League and its whole arrogance. The NHL must receive a total condemnation from the entire sporting world."

Velichkin is also the guy who held a disheveled Malkin in a dank and dessolate basement cell, slapped him around, then psychologically co-erced him into unwittingly signing a new contract with Metallurg. Then, when that master plan fell through, he pounded on his slick, polished oak desk in his office high above the city and swore vengeance on these infidels and traitors.

What's funny is that the Dostoevsky, kaviar and vodka are the only parts I made up.