As part of our on-going Penguins season preview, we're offering up space on North O Forbes for some of our friends and fellow fans. These posts are an open forum for them to sound off on any Pens-related matter in any manner they see fit.
Your author of this post is Matt Karasic.
Age: 23
Penguins fan since: 1988
Favorite All-Time Player: Kevin Stevens
As reports of sales talks continue, it once again dawns upon me that it’s quite possible that we are just weeks away from the beginning of the Penguins’ final season in Pittsburgh. Of all of the potential buyers mentioned, Sam Fingold and Jim Balsillie have been at the forefront (supposedly, fuck if I know); Fingold having already signed a (now stale-dated) letter of intent and Balsillie reportedly close to doing so. Both are fabulously wealthy, Fingold being a real-estate bigwig in Connecticut and Balsillie the CEO of the BlackBerry company, and both don’t give two shits about keeping the Penguins in Pittsburgh. Fingold has repeatedly expressed an interest in moving the team to Kansas City; and Balsillie, a Canadian, wants to smuggle the team back to his homeland.
First of all, fuck Missouri. If “Oklahoma!” taught us anything, it’s that in Kansas City… well... they’ve gone about as far as they can go. What are they going to do with a hockey team? (In all truthfulness, everything I know about that place I learned from young Will Parker. As far as I’m concerned, they still get their kicks from Burly-Q’s, gas buggies, and Bell telly-phones.)
If the Penguins move westward (possibly swapping conferences with the nearby Columbus Blue Jackets…?), it would rob the NHL of Crosby vs. Ovechkin, the best one-on-one rivalry in hockey right now. Gretzky played in the western conference his entire career (the three year debacle with the Rangers not withstanding), and so fans were treated to Lemieux vs. Gretzky only once or twice a year, possibly three times (taking into account the All-Star Game). Ovechkin and Crosby (two of the three offensive MVP’s in this year’s world championships) meet four times every year, and they wouldn’t have to make it all the way to the Stanley Cup Finals to meet in the playoffs. Previous to 01-02, the Pens met the Caps in 7 of 11 playoff seasons. What are the odds THAT wouldn’t sell out? The marketing possibilities are endless.The classic training sequence from Rocky IV pits footage of Sylvester Stallone (Rocky) training on a mountaintop in some arctic wilderness against footage of super soldier Dolph Lundgren (Drago) training in some secret Red Army facility. Can’t you just imagine that reinvented for Crosby/Ovechkin? Wouldn’t that get you fired up? And wasn’t the training montage from Rocky III REALLY gay?
As for moving the Penguins to Canada…Hamilton is 45 minutes from Toronto. I mapquested it. It’s comparable in size to Pittsburgh, but Pittsburgh isn’t located within spitting distance of an Original Six team. Look at what happened to the Nordiques, located in Quebec City, three hours northeast of Montreal. Or the Hartford Whalers, two hours from New York City. Defunct. As far as I can tell, it’s risky trying to establish franchises near Original Six teams, whose fan bases are widespread and fiercely loyal.
Fuck Canada.
The worst part about the whole sales process is that another bidder, Andrew Murstein, has pledged to keep the team in Pittsburgh regardless of whatever ends up happening with a new arena. Mark Madden says he’s a kook, and I think Balsillie and Fingold are both offering $5-$10 million more than he is, but Jesus. Where’s the love? Pittsburghers turn out in record numbers to see a 2005-2006 team that were bottom-feeders from day one, who’ve been in the top of the draft lottery the last four seasons after a talent fire sale, and the guy that wants to keep them here can’t get a little hometown discount?
I know that I’m preaching to the choir here, but what the fuck?
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